-1-

"Where the hell are they?" Buffy Summers asked, storming into Giles' apartment, the man followed her inside, then closed the door.

They'd been out patrolling together. It had been ages since the last time. They'd had fun together.

Buffy didn't want to think that for over a year she'd denied herself to be with him, to be close to him. They'd hurt each other so much, yet now things were gradually returning to normal...as normal as her life could be.

"I suppose they didn't leave you a note, did they?" Giles asked

"No...I can't believe they went out without me...but they brought Spike with them!" she said sitting on his couch.

Giles took a deep breath and said, "I am sure they didn't mean to leave you out..." he headed toward the kitchen and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"Yeah...that would be nice, thanks..." she replied without looking at him.

Giles smiled at his slayer. She looked stunning that night

< Who are you trying to fool, Rupert? She *always* looks stunning... even covered in slime >

Giles shook his head, while he put the kettle on. He could hear from the kitchen that Buffy was humming a song. He smiled recognizing it, she was listening to it a lot, lately.

When I'm lost, you shine a light for me

And set me free. When I'm low, you wash

Away my tears and take me through the

loneliness, and emptiness, through the

darkest night, somehow I'll survive.

At times he was surprised at how she could still enjoy herself...she was humming, after having dusted three vampires and killed a minor demon, and from her voice he could detect that she almost seemed happy. He slightly tensed when she hummed the following verse of the song...was it his imagination, or her voice had been louder?

Through it all, when you tell me I'm the

only one you need, sweet and tenderly,

and your love breaks away the clouds

surrounding me All I have I wanna give to thee

He shook his head, pouring the hot liquid into two cups, he returned in the living room. Buffy was still sitting on the couch, her head arched, her eyes closed while she kept humming the song. He noticed though, that she was frowning, it almost looked like she was really listening to the song's words for the first time

If I should fall, your love is strong enough,

to lift me up. If I'm afraid, oh babe, you chase

away my tears, and take me to, a brighter place,

beyond the rain, and I feel alright, 'cause, you're

By my side. Through it all, when you tell me I'm the

the only one you need, sweet and tenderly, and your

love breaks away the clouds surrounding me

All I have I wanna give to thee.

Giles didn't know what to do, wondering whether she was thinking about Angel or Riley, her broke-up with Riley hadn't surprised him and he was glad she had reacted well to it, but, he was afraid, that perhaps, she was still suffering.

Giles would have been utterly surprised whether he'd known, that neither Angel nor Riley had entered Buffy's mind while she had been singing. He would have been shocked, whether he had known that Buffy had been actually thinking of him, while singing.

Buffy didn't know how it had started...or when, but she'd fallen in love with him. She smiled at herself, thinking that she couldn't be honest even to herself. She knew exactly how and when she'd realized she'd fallen in love with him. Oddly it had been his betrayal which had made her realize her feelings for him. Realizing her feelings and act on them, though, was another matter altogether.

She had raised a wall between, she'd tried her best to distance him from her and she'd almost succeeded.

She didn't want to risk losing him too, she had known that in her heart. Losing him was out of the question...so she had thought that if that time, she walked away, pain would have been less excruciating.

She had been wrong. She had used and been used in the year, she'd tried to forget him, to move on, and in the end, she'd just managed to hurt them both and to love him more than she'd ever imagined could be possible

< Way to go, Summers. >

She opened her eyes and shook her head, surprised when she found Giles looking at her. He was leaning against a wall, he still had the cups in his hands, he was smiling and Buffy felt her heart was going to melt any minute...he was so beautiful.

"W...what?" she eventually managed to ask, cursing herself for her cracked voice.

"N...nothing" he said. He approached her and handed her a cup. She took the cup and mouthed a thank you.

Giles sat next to her and sighed, Buffy watched him and asked, "Giles, are you alright?"

"Oh, yes...yes I am, thank you." He said smiling. He shrugged and said, "I guess I am just a little tired."

"Oh..." she murmured then she asked in a low voice, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" he exclaimed, the marveling added, "You don't have to, Buffy...but perhaps you want to?"

"Oh, no...not at all, I'm glad I'm here!" she said smiling

"Fine..." he said smiling back at her. They sat, both sipping their tea, none of them talked for a long while, they were just enjoying each other's company. The silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't pleasant either. They both wondered what the other was thinking.

< Talk to her, Rupert...just ask her something >

Giles thought. He opened his mouth to tell something, but he closed it...he didn't want to risk upsetting her.

< C'mon Buffy...say something, for God's sake! When did you lose your tongue? >

She cleared her throat, Giles turned toward her and raised his eyebrows, silently asking what was the matter. She shrugged, feeling suddenly very afraid.

She knew she couldn't be in the same room with that man, without revealing her feelings, or at least part of them, so she said, "Hm...I think...I think I'd better go to the dorm...I want to ask Will where the hell she's been tonight"

"Oh, yes...you'd better go, then." He said in a low voice. Buffy could see the hurt in his eyes. She silently swore

< Great...you managed to hurt him, again! Now he probably thinks you don't like being here! >

Giles got up from the couch and took the two cups, he headed toward the kitchenette without talking. Buffy rolled her eyes and got up, she followed him in the kitchenette and said, "Giles?"

"Yes?" he said, without looking at her.

"It's not that I don't want to stay here...because I want to..." she paused uncertain how to continue the sentence.

Giles looked at her, surprised and said, "But?"

"But?" she echoed.

"It's not that you don't want to stay here, because you want to, but? I see a but coming in your sentence"

"Oh yes...'but'! But it's very late...and I've classes tomorrow and... "

"You know Buffy? You don't have to excuse yourself...if you want to leave you just have to say it. I understand, really."

< Jeez, has he always been that dense? >

She wondered. She shook her head, she got close to him and taking his hands in hers said, "Look Giles, I see another misunderstanding coming between us and I *so* don't want it. So for the record, I *want* to stay here, I *love* staying here...but believe it or not, I'm dead on my feet. I've been up last night because I had a test this morning and with the slaying and all...I'm really scratching the end of my barrel of slayer's stamina ..."

Giles smiled at her words, and said, "All right, no misunderstandings then, just a very tired slayer..."

"Way to go G-Man " she said smiling

"Don't call me that" he quickly said, without even thinking. He chuckled at his own words, and she soon joined him, without thinking she freed her hands from his and she pulled him in a bear hug. Giles started at the beginning, he wasn't used to having his slayer in his arms beyond training, but he soon relaxed and he hugged her back. He caressed her hair and closed his eyes, smiling.

He loved her. He didn't even try to deny those feelings anymore, not to himself, at least. The feeling of her body pressed against his, her scent almost brought tears to his eyes.

He took a deep breath and stepped lightly back. He had to do it, he knew that if he'd held her a moment longer, he wold have done something utterly stupid like kissing her hair, thus revealing how he really felt about her, and how those feelings were not quite fatherly as Quentin Travers had labeled them.

He cleared his throat and asked, "Do you want me to ..?"

"Yes, thanks...I'd really appreciate a drive to the dorm" she said interrupting her

"How do you know what I was going to ask you?" he asked surprised.

"Can you keep a secret, Giles?" she asked in a teasing tone.

"Y...yes, of course" he stuttered

"Good...so can I..."

"Ah, bloody, ah" he said

She grinned and left the kitchenette saying, "Ain't you coming, Giles?"

"Yes..." he said smiling.

They were both outside Giles' house when she asked, "May I drive?"

"Don't push your luck, young lady" he said in a menacing tone, yet his eyes were twinkling with joy

"Pleeeeeeaseeeeeee?" she asked pouting.

He stopped and looked at her, she was still pouting.

He shook his head, "No way, Buffy."

"Please Giles? Pretty please?" she asked again.

Giles closed his eyes. How could he refuse something to her? Why did he still try to? He sighed and gave in, "All right!"

She jumped and without thinking she kissed his cheek, taking the keys from his hand.

When life had gotten so complicated?

-2-

"May I know, where the heck have all of you been tonight and why did you bring Spike with you?" Buffy asked once entered the room she shared with Willow.

The witch was in her bed, already under her blankets, she was reading. She raised her head and without even flinching said, "Good evening, Buffy!"

"Good evening, Will...and now would you tell me where have you been?"

Willow smiled at her friend, they'd already decided what to tell her, so without missing a beat said, "There was this new club outside Sunnydale, we've thought to go there."

"With Spike?" she asked incredulous.

"Yep..." she said. She closed her book and looked at her, trying to hide her amusement at the shocked look on her best friend's face.

"With Spike?" she repeated.

"Yes Buffy, with Spike. It's been Anya's idea."

Buffy blinked and asked, "Why with Spike?"

"There are other words in our language, you know?" she said.

She was still smiling, she placed the book on her nightstand and said, "Mouth looks better closed Buffy...as for Anya's idea" the young witch yawned then sleepily said, "Beat me, I have no idea...Spike looked surprised too..." she closed her eyes and asked, "And what about you? We tried to reach you, but we didn't find you.."

"I..." she paused, “I'm going to take a shower..."

Willow just nodded. Once Buffy went into the bathroom, the girl muttered turning off the light, "She's been at Giles'"

~ So Willow, what do you say, we've got a deal? ~

Willow closed her eyes, when she heard Spike's voice in her head. She squeezed them shut ignoring the pounding in her heart, remembering what had happened after the others had left the hotel's room.

§

Xander had assured her they were going to wait for them in the hallway, but when they'd closed the door, Willow had been scared senseless.

 She hadn't been scared of Spike, she knew he couldn't harm her. She had been scared of what had switched between them that night.

Spike had looked at her for some seconds, Willow hadn't moved though, she'd held her head high. She'd sensed that Spike didn't want to scare her, he'd just been curious. Finally Spike had gotten close to her and had asked, "What are you doing to me, Willow?"

She had heard his other silent question

~ Are you casting a bloody spell on me, Willow? ~

"I'm not casting a spell on you!" she had exclaimed.

"Then why can you hear my thoughts?" Spike had softly asked.

"I...I don't know, Spike." She had said lowering her head.

Spike had gently touched her shoulder, forcing her to raise her head, Spike had smiled at her, then had said, "I'm not complaining..."

"Aren't you?" she had managed to ask. She had blinked then had asked, "Why aren't you complaining?"

He had shook his head, not answering to her question and had got closer to her. His hand on her bare shoulder had been cold, yet it had seemed like fire on her skin...his glare had been like fire, she had been sure in fact, her cheeks were burning.

< Naa...it's not fire...it's you blushing because he's looking at you with those blue eyes...by the way Will, BREATHE! >

She took a deep breath, Spike frowned and asked, "Why are you afraid of me, Willow? You know I can't hurt you"

"W...why...you keep calling me like that?" she had asked looking at him, yet for the first time since they'd known each other, she hadn't been afraid of him.

"Like what?" he had softly asked.

He had been close, so close to her.

"Willow..." she had breathed

Spike had smiled and had said, "It's your name, isn't it?"

"You've never..." she had started.

"Maybe, I want to now ..." he had said, looking at her.

Their glares had fixed for an instant, then Spike had taken possession of her mouth.

He hadn't parted open her lips, he hadn't needed to force her. Willow had immediately responded to his kiss.

If someone had asked her, how a kiss between them could have been, besides the obvious 'eeeeew' she'd have answered that fire would have met ice.

She would have been wrong.

It had been all fire. Fire which had flowed into her veins like volcano's lava. Her skin had burned under his gentle touch.

He hadn't touched her breasts or bottom, he'd just caressed her back and her shoulders, the nape of her neck, then his hands had been on her hair, her neck.

She'd touched him as well, caressing his hair, his shoulders, his back.

It hadn't mattered that his heart hadn't been beating. Hers had begun beating for the two of them.

For a second she'd forgotten he was a vampire, the same vampire who had kidnapped her, threatened her. She'd forgotten Tara, Buffy, Giles, Xander, Anya, Sunnydale.

For a second Spike's mouth, skin, taste had been all that had mattered to her. He'd eventually gently pulled away from her and placing his cool lips against her burning forehead had whispered, "Breathe Willow..."

She'd closed her eyes and had rested her head against his shoulder, inhaling his scent, taking deep breaths. She'd felt Spike's hand gently caressing her hair while he'd pulled her closer to him with the other hand. She'd closed her eyes and had whispered against the thin fabric of his shirt, "What's just happened?"

Spike had squeezed his eyes shut when he'd felt Willow's hot breath through the fabric of his shirt. He didn't know what had happened.

He'd always thought the red-headed witch was attractive, he'd always liked her...he'd never even thought about kissing her though. Thinking about her lips and the green fire in her eyes, feeling her warm body pressed against his, he'd wondered why it had taken so long for him to kiss her.

Yet he hadn't been able to really explain to her what had switched between them that night, so he had placed a kiss on her forehead and had said, "We've just kissed each other, luv "

She had giggled against his chest then, tickling it with her breath, Spike had smiled, soon joining Willow in a full laughter, when they'd both recovered Willow had raised her head and had said, "I don't know what to say..."

"I should be the one saying that..." he had commented.

"Probably" she had said smiling.

"I should feel sorry" he had continued.

"Yes, you should." She had softly said, still smiling.

"But I'm not.." he had said.

"Ain't you?" she had asked surprised, not understanding why that had made her heart beat faster.

"Not even a bit, luv. I enjoyed it." he had looked at her for a second, then had asked, "And what about you?"

"M...me? W...what about me? I...I have a girlfriend, I'm a lesbian in fact, sorta... and I love her and she's waiting for me in the hallway with my best friend, her ex demon girlfriend and you're a blonde vampire...with a twisted sense of humor and..." She had stopped talking, noticing Spike's raised eyebrows and his amused smile, her own smile had widened when she had quickly said, "wouldyoukissmeagainplease?"

"I thought you'd never ask" he said in a husky voice.

"Just shut up and kiss me, Spike!" she had breathed, before kissing him as if her life depended on it.

When they had broken the kiss Willow had managed to say, panting, "We'd better go, I wouldn't want you to get intimately acquainted with a stake..."

Spike had chuckled but he hadn't let go of her. He had grazed her hair with his fingers and had said, "You’re right, luv..."

"Yeah..." she had breathed. Just then Xander had knocked on the door saying, "Will? Are you finished there?"

They'd looked at each other for an instant, smiling, then she had cleared her throat and had said raising her voice, "Yeah, Xander, we're finished"

They'd reluctantly pulled away from each other then she'd reached the door and had opened it, when she'd heard him in her head, his voice had been so clear, that for a second she had thought Xander had heard him too.

~ Don't bet on it. We're long from finished...when all this matter is solved, we're going continue this, luv ~

She'd stiffened for a second then she'd followed Xander outside.

She hadn't heard him, nor he had spoken, only when she'd gotten out from Xander's car he had spoken again, for all to hear, "So Red, what do you say, we've got a deal?"

Willow had ignored him.

§

~ So Willow? We've got a deal? ~

Spike's voice repeated. Willow, sighed, tracing her lips with trembling fingers. She yawned then mumbled, "I guess we have"

While sleep enveloped her, she heard him loud enough to make her open her eyes

~YES!~

Willow Rosenberg smiled in the darkness of her bedroom, closing her eyes she mumbled, "Yes, indeed."

"You said something, Will?" Buffy sleeply asked her friend.

Willow, though, was already asleep, a light Cheshire cat smile on her lips.

-3-

The following days were very busy for the Scooby Gang. Not only they were researching information on a demon Buffy had seen the night after the meeting at the hotel, but they were also looking for a couple of powerful spells to cast on Buffy and Giles and the perfect place for what they were calling "the luv trap"

They talked about it whenever Buffy or Giles weren't with them. They couldn't risk to make mistakes, not only because of Buffy's strength or Giles' anger, but because they feared their friends would have gotten too scared to ever think about voicing their feelings and mostly because they didn't want to ruin the friendship between the two of them.

They were all in Xander's basement. Willow had finally found the perfect spells, they were now discussing the location.

"What about the dorm?" Xander asked.

"Too many bloody people" Spike muttered, trying his best not to look at Willow, who looked absolutely stunning in his opinion that evening.

"He's right Xand...and besides, how the hell can we make Giles enter the dorm?" Willow said forcing herself not to look at Spike and not quite succeeding. He was so beautiful that evening that it almost took her breath away.

"Alright...." Xander said.

"Your basement?" Anya asked

Xander looked around and said, "Love, you're kidding, right?"

Anya looked around and asked, "Why? I love this place!"

"No pet, you love *him* , is different" Spike said looking at her.

Anya scowled and said, "So? You're not in love with....?"

"Ok, kids..." Spike said interrupting her, trying not to sound upset and not quite succeeding.

He wasn't in love with Willow...it wasn't possible, it was a laughable thing...wasn't it?

< Yeah, Spike...keep saying it, who knows? Maybe you'll convince yourself >

An inner voice murmured, and he was pretty damn sure it wasn't Willow's. He shook his head and added, "So far, we've scratched from our list the graveyard, the mansion, Joyce's house, the dorm and Xander's basement...what's left? "

"Giles' house?" Tara, who had been silent 'til then asked

"Too many magic books..." Willow said

"That wouldn't be a problem we could move them while they're out patrolling" Spike said matter-of-factly

"I can't put a spell on the whole house!" Willow exclaimed

~ You can do everything Willow, keep that in mind ~

Spike's silent support made her smile, yet she said, "There are too many bad memories in that house"

"About time to start with good ones, then..." Spike said.

"If only we still had the library" Xander complained.

"Yeah it would be so right for them to..." Willow stopped talking.

Spike who was in front of her, noticed a sudden light sparkle in her eyes. He smiled without even realizing it.

He'd gotten to know and love that look. It meant she was excited over something.

< Did I just thought  that I love her excited look? What the hell is happening to me? Am I becoming Poof Boy junior? Next thing I'm going to start composing sonnets or worse brooding! Bloody Hell!>

He reached for the cigarettes in his pocket and he lit one, hating that his hands were lightly shaking.

"Spike?" Willow's voice was gentle but firm.

"What?" he snapped.

Willow pointed at the cigarette, Spike shook his head and said, "No way! I can't feed,  can't watch the telly, I'm helping the slayer and the watcher and I'm..." he stopped before he finished his sentence, Willow caught it, though.

She gasped.

~ I'm kind  of falling in love with you, witch! I've every right to smoke a cigarette ~

"W...what?" she asked aloud.

"You heard it all, Red...just get over it, I'm smoking my cigarette!" Spike said, happy of how cool and detached his voice had sounded.

"Uhm...w...whatever..." she replied.

~ You're falling in love with me? ~

She silently asked. Spike didn't answer, though. He just got up from his chair and said Xander, "Look mate, you sleep here, I'm going outside to smoke. You face death everyday with the slaying, let's don't tempt fate, ok?"

Xander nodded surprised.  Willow got up, but Spike's voice stopped her.

~ Don't even try following me, Willow! Weren't you in love with Tara last time we both checked?~

Willow closed her eyes for a second, when she reopened them, Spike had left the basement. She then turned toward her friends and said, "I've got an idea...it will be a big, powerful spell...it's a bit tricky but I think that with Anya and Tara's help, it could actually work. "

"What do you want to do?" Xander asked.

"I want to recreate the library..." she happily said.

"You want what?" Tara asked

"I want to recreate the library..." she slowly repeated.

"How? Will, no offence...you're a terrific witch and all...but this isn't Star Trek, ya know? There's no holodeck...you can recreate the library just like that!"

~ Don't listen to him, Willow...remember, you can do everything ~

Spike's voice, was soothing, it erased all her doubts.

~ Are you still there? ~

She asked quite surprised

~ Yeah Luv, I'm not leaving anytime soon...unless your slayer friend dusts me, when she finds out what's going on...~

Spike's voice had held a teasing, happy tone, but she could sense he was actually worried.

~ I'll protect you ...~

She silently told him. She didn't hear him reply, but a few seconds later, he returned Xander's basement. He had a cocky grin plastered on his face.

"So let me see if I got it right, you want to re-build the library?" Xander asked.

She smiled and said, "I didn't mean I'm going to re-build the library...I'm saying that it's what they're going to see...we just have to choose a room"

"You're sure you can do that, Will?" Xander asked at the same time

This time, when she replied, she didn't care, whether anyone noticed she was looking straight into Spike's eyes.

"Yes, Xand. I'm sure..."

-4-

Buffy was sure her friends were hiding something from her. She was more than sure, actually. They were all in Giles' apartment.

Giles was in his bedroom, changing for patrolling. Buffy was checking on her weapons then putting them in her bag.

They were all looking at her, when they weren't planning ...whatever they were planning.

< Gee Buffy! Paranoid much? >

She shook her head and sighed. Her instinct told her that her friends and the vampire were planning something, though she had no idea what. She was going to talk to Giles about that, during patrol.

She was sure he had sensed something too. She closed her bag and turned toward her friends, she caught Spike

and Willow exchanging a look.

< Now...that's strange, since when she's not afraid of him? >

Buffy shook her head, again. She was about to ask them something, when Giles came back from his bedroom. He was wearing an old pair of jeans and a black sweater.

Her heart began pounding in her chest, she smiled though while getting close to him and teased, "You know? At times I almost miss the tweed..."

"Really?" he asked, smiling. Buffy nodded. "May I know, why?" Giles asked, his face was serious, but in his eyes she could read amusement.

"No, Giles...I don't think so..." she all but purred.

< What the hell am I doing? I'm flirting with my Watcher here, in front of my friends? >

Giles had blinked at Buffy's words. If the mere thought of it hadn't been so ridiculous, he'd have thought she was flirting with him.

<Be serious Rupert, she was just teasing you! It's your dirty mind which is playing tricks on you!>

"Hm...I...I think w...we should go, now." He finally said.

"I think you're right...Duty calls." Buffy said in a low voice.

< Great, you've managed to upset him! Now he's probably thinking you're the biggest slut ever!>

"We're going" she said to her friends.

Spike raised his head from the book he'd been reading and said, "Yeah, ducks! We'd figured this one out..." he then swiftly lowered his head returning to read the book.

Buffy noticed he was smiling and lightly shaking his head, if she'd turned she'd have noticed a similar smile on Willow's face.

"Keep researching" Giles admonished him from behind Buffy's shoulders.

"Yeah, watcher, whatever you say..." Spike muttered without even raising his head, he was still smiling.

"Ya sure I can't kill him, Giles?" Buffy asked looking at him.

"We've already talked about that, Buffy..." he said opening the door and gesturing her out.

"Yeah, right..." she mumbled getting out from the house, Giles quickly followed and closed the door behind him.

Willow closed her book. She got up from her seat and went to the window. Buffy and Giles were still talking, actually they were both laughing at something Buffy had said.

~ Maybe we won't need the spell, did you hear her, Willow? She was about to shag him right here, against the wall.. ~

Spike silently told her, amused.

~ Probably, but we can't take risks...~

~ And besides, there's still our deal, right, Willow? ~

~ Spike? Just shut up, please! ~

~ Yes, luv ...by the way did I tell you how lovely you look tonight? ~

Willow blushed, glad she was turning her back at her friends, she closed her eyes and silently stuttered

~ T...thanks. You...uh...l...look quite...uh... n...nice y...yourself! Aw...great! Now I begin stuttering in my mind! ~

They all looked at Spike when he suddenly chuckled. He covered his mouth with his hand and looking at them snapped, "What! Am I still free to chuckle if I want to, aren't I?"

"Sure Fang Boy..." Xander muttered, then shook his head, Spike never ceased to amaze him