I still miss the sun – chapter eleven -


They were close.


The Slayer and the Eletti, closer than they thought.


The demon had quickly realized that demons and physical violence weren’t going to stop them. They both were strong and very determined.


They had dispatched the first set of demons and vampires very easily.


The demon looked toward the two humans, trapped in the purple mist.


They had been fighting, despite the sorrow they had been facing, and the echoes of their losses had reverberated throughout the gallery, reaching the Slayer and the Eletti.


The two of them weren’t giving up, though.


The demon smiled before blowing again at the purple mist. The two humans trapped inside of it screamed.


The demon could feel their pain…and the heart-ache it was provoking on the Slayer and the Eletti.


Its smile grew wider. Things were going to get very interesting.





She wished Spike remembered.


Willow closed her eyes, trying to focus on the book she was researching on.


Another day of endless sorrow was ahead of them. Just like the other times she had gone at Giles’ house finding the others.


Just like the other times Giles and she had gone through the heartbreaking process of explaining what was happening.


She hadn’t even looked at Giles so far. She was afraid to. She was afraid to see the pain in his eyes.


A pain, she was sure, that was mirrored in hers. Last night had been the worst.


The Spike who had turned into ashes the night before to save her had been her lover.


He had launched at the demon that was holding her, with a force, a rage that she had never seen before. A tiny glimmer of hope had surfaced; she had hoped that perhaps, that time things would have been different.




She recalled how he had held her after they had made love in Giles’ kitchen. She now realized, she had wanted him the day before, not for love…not for passion, but because she had needed to feel alive…she had wanted the cold, the emptiness to go away.


 < Stupid, stupid, stupid!>


She kept repeating to herself. She hadn’t even thought about the outcome. She now knew how Spike tasted like, how soft his skin was, how well she fitted in his arms.


She now knew that it didn’t matter he didn’t have a heart-beat, and that although his skin was cold, it stirred a fire within herself like she had never felt before.


She now loved him more than before. When the night before his body had turned into ash, for an instant she had been sure she was going to die too. The sorrow had been so strong, so intense that it had almost broken her.


Almost was the operative word.


She blinked away some tears and cleared her throat. Was she really ready to watch him die again?


< Have I ever been?>


She thought shaking her head. She slightly raised her head, meeting Giles’ look. The man’s eyes looked haunted. She shrugged trying to smile at him, wondering whether they were ever going to be able to make that nightmare stop.


<Nightmare? These are our worst nightmares…>


“Giles?” she said getting up from the couch with a start, her book fell on the floor but she didn’t even realize that.


“Yes, Willow?” he tiredly asked.


“We’ve been treating this matter as a temporal anomaly…we’ve been researching over these kind of phenomena…but…but what if we’ve been searching in the wrong direction?”


“We’ve been searching for spells about time delays and…”


“What do we remember of the first time Buffy and Spike died?” she asked, ignoring for a moment the pain those words brought to her heart.


“A demon was holding me, it was almost snapping me in two…and then a purple mist enveloped us… when it dissipated both Spike and Buffy had been hurt…”


“How and when exactly? The last thing I remember is Spike launching at the demon which was holding me…”


“You are kidding, Red, right? Why should I do, that?” Spike chimed in


“Shut up, Spike!” both Giles and Willow said ignoring him.


Willow got close to Giles and said, “How did exactly happen? And why Spike and Buffy?”


“Uh, because I’m the  Slayer?” Buffy said closing her book and crossing her arms over her chest.


“That would explain you…and Giles…the chosen ones, but not Spike…”


“What exactly are you implying, Willow?” Giles asked, taking off his glasses and weakly rubbing his eyes.


“So far, we’ve considered a given, that Spike and Buffy were the targets of this thing…and that we had to stop their deaths, right?”


Giles nodded at her, Willow took a deep breath then said, “Well, what if ....*we* are the targets? Let's think about it, Giles...whatever we do to stop their deaths during the day...we always end in the graveyard...and we always faint or lose consciousness after they die...this spell, doesn't want us to save them...hell, how many times have we tried to?”


"I'm not sure I'm following you here, Will." Xander said, talking for the first time, "Usually on Star Trek time repeats itself because the good guys have to stop the major badness from happening..."


"But what if it is the major badness which is forcing us to repeat the same day over and over?" Willow said.


"You are saying that.... what exactly are you saying?" Buffy asked.


"She is saying that someone is using their feelings, their fears against them...but why?" Anya said.


"To get us?" Buffy chimed in.


"But....why Spike and I?" Willow said, "I mean you are the Slayer and Giles is your Watcher...but I'm just a witch...and Spike is just a vampire!"


"Actually" Giles started.


Willow turned to look at him and caught a look between Spike and the ex Watcher. Giles nodded slightly, then turning to look at her said, "That's what we have to find out...if we understand the whys and hows, we will be able to finally stop this"


"Sounds like a plan" Xander said shrugging


"I second that" Buffy added


"I third that" Anya chimed in, shifting for the fist time since Willow had arrived from Xander's lap


"Passion should be on...I'll go and watch the telly" Spike added in a low voice.


For the first since longer than Willow could remember a genuine smile crossed her lips.


Freedom and Peace looked closer.