I still miss the sun

Winner of

Nominated at

AUTHOR: Joyce19
E-MAIL: joyce19@libero.it
SUMMARY: An evil game forces a truth to be uncovered.
RATING: NC17, A
PAIRINGS: W/S; B/G; B/S friendship
SETTING: AU ...way AU
SUMMARY: An evil game, forces a truth to be uncovered.
DISCLAIMER: All hail Joss, except for Eric,  it's all yours not mine, I'm just borrowing the characters for a while, I don't want to infringe any copyright.
 FEEDBACK:  Please...please, please...but no flames...they're not healthy. I'll gratefully accept constructive criticisms, I need them for this fic;-);-)

 NOTE: Ok, just to set things right here: I ignore some of the events of the series,  and twist some of them to fit them in this story. The idea for this story came from various sources, from Saber Shadow's Kitten "To Saving the World" which I vividly recommend you, from various posts on the Jamesmarsters.com message board (YAY Zero, you rock!;-), from some spoilers about "Fool For Love" (including what I call DA PICTURE), and I believe each fan of Spike knows which picture I'm talking about. (I've never been that psyched about an episode of a tv series, since The X-Files' "One Breath") then I had a thought about Spike's humanity. I read transcripts of episodes I still haven't seen, and I started thinking about it, and I had a thought, what if the Council has some kind of Intelligence? What if the Slayers has other help besides the Watchers? So here it is my fiction. WARNING: It's an AU story, waaaaay AU ...I'm creating my own mythology here.;-)
And yes, in this fiction Spike is NOT bad...and is probably out of character...so what? I'm not a writer of the show, I write for my own enjoyment, I know how to stay true to the characters...I willingly choose not to...that's my story, these are my ideas and theories and I'm sticking to them;)

NOTE2: No Tara, No Riley and no Dawn in this one....it's not that I don't like the characters, but  I so didn't need them;-)

To Sabrina...luv, I *so*  love you! To Maria, my partner in crime...you keep inspiring me and encouraging me, I do really luv you!

Begun on 11/05/2000 ~ Finished on: 3/2/2001

PROLOGUE

~ He was watching the sunrise. No matter how tired he was, he always did. It had so many meanings to him. It meant that he had survived another long night, that he could enjoy the borrowed time he still had. He always watched it, because he knew that each sunrise could be his last, and he wanted to remember it.

He had discovered, though, that each sunrise was different from the previous, the colors were different, the air was different. Yet, it didn't cease to amaze him. Its beauty didn't cease to take his breath away. He actually looked forward to that moment, the moment where his breath caught in his throat when he marveled at the pink and pale golden nuances of the sky.

 William Appleton, shivered at the morning chill, yet he smiled. There was too much darkness in his life, a darkness toned just by the red of the blood he saw each night. The blood of innocent, nameless victims of the night and its mysteries.

Those nuances gave a bit of life back to him. 

He knew he was living on a borrowed time, each sunrise was a gift, each  *heartbeat* was a gift. He knew that he was going to be activated, sooner or later. He had been trained for that moment for years. Nothing scared him anymore. He didn't feel pain, anymore, he had gotten used to it...they had taught him to like pain.

He had nothing to lose, no one to lose. His family thought he was dead...he wasn't of course. Not physically, not yet...but his life had ended the moment he had accepted to be one of the Eletti. When he had accepted to be one of them he had consciously given up on his life, for the sake of the world.
 

A new name, a new identity, had been given to him, a lousy job, a room...and a mission....to spy on them, to research on them.   Vampires.  Demons. He wasn't scared of them anymore. How could he? He spied on them night after night, he observed them, studied them...

He had been trained to be as silent as them, he had been taught meditation to slow his heartbeat, had been given potions to cover his human smell...all of it, to spy on them...before he was activated. When the time would come, he was going to be one of them.

To keep the world safe, to aid the Chosen One, to prevent darkness from overruling the Earth.

When the time would come, he was going to die...to become one of them... apparently. His soul was not going to be wiped away by the demon that was going to inhabitate his body.  He was going to be the little spot of light within the darkness.

He wasn't afraid to die, not any more. As a Watcher he had been prepared to lay down his life for the Slayer, for the sake of the world.

Dying was just a matter of perception. Besides, he really didn't have nothing to lose.

A first, lukewarm beam of sunlight hit his forehead.

He had nothing to lose. Nothing, except the sun.  ~

     -1-
Spike opened his eyes and sat on the makeshift  bed, his crypt was lit by candle-light, he could already smell  the twilight. He shrugged  and closed his eyes covering his face with his left hand, touching the moisture on his face.

He had been crying in his sleep.

"I'm beyond pathetic" he grumbled shaking his head. "It's not like  I didn't have a choice, back then." He continued getting up from the bed and putting on his jeans and t-shirt.

He didn't often think or dream about when he was still alive. He had made a choice, he had accepted it, he had done it because he had believed he was doing the right thing. He still did.

Carrying a double identity for more than a century hadn't been easy...actually it had been damned difficult. There had been times, he had just told his soul to sod off and enjoyed being a vampire, he had needed it, not to go crazy. There had been times he had just taken a vacation from his assignments...yet, in the end, he had always returned to it, to his calling, his sacred duty.
 

"Speaking of which..." he murmured. Out of habit he turned and looked around making sure he was alone in his crypt, then let out a tired chuckle. He lived alone, his chipped status had alienated him from the vampire community in Sunnydale, which on an extent was fine by him. He knelt behind his bed, and took from under it a backpack. His backpack. He took a floppy from it. He put his trusty duster on and slipped the floppy on the inside pocket of it.

The day computers had been invented had been one of the happiest in Spike's unlife. It had made everything easier. He had reports about his activities to write. There had been times it had been really difficult to write and hand them.

The years spent with Angelus had been the hardest...that wanker, had been like an hawk...always hovering over his shoulders, always keeping tracks of his movements. After he had been cursed it had been a piece of cake. Dru was psychic, but she was mad...and she had trusted him.

Thinking of her as always hurt. There had been times he had hurt so deep within that he'd actually cursed his soul...he had to laugh while he left his crypt. When he was alive, he hadn't known love, funny how being a vampire and being in love with one of them had taught him that.

He had said once, he would have tortured her into loving him again. He wished he had been really able to do it.

He had gained his nickname for his habit of torturing people with railroad spikes, little most of the watchers knew, that the people he had tortured had been vampires, or criminals, or just people who planned to end the world.

The council, had given him his nicknames and he had found them amusing, trust the old bastards to keep up the facade.

The Eletti would have given the CIA a run for their money.

He had tried to torture Drusilla...and part of him had enjoyed it...he lived with a demon within himself after all, and contrary to Angel, he didn't have time to brood...he couldn't soak in regret for what he did, he couldn't afford that weakness.

Contrary to Angel he had had a soul when he had killed the first person as a vampire...he had mourned over each life he had taken, he had forced himself to, not to lose his humanity...but he hadn't ever had time to brood over them...if he had, he would have probably staked himself.

Drusilla had appreciated the effort, though...and for a while everything had been perfect. Part of him, hadn't really wanted to come back to her, but his contacts from the Eletti had warned him that his fruitcake of a girlfriend, had been on another of her 'let's-end-the-world-wanna-come-?'  plans and he had been practically forced to drag his ass over there, to Brazil to stop her.

What was with vampires and the end of the world, anyway? On whom were they going to feed if the world ended? When they were going to realize, that on a scale of zero to ten, in the underworld they were considered just one step above zero? They were too humans, too hybrids.

And besides, although the world they were living in was a mess, it was much better than Hell on Earth...

"Well, that's an understatement, if I ever heard one"  he muttered, watching the night sky. He had an appointment and he suspected he was late. He hadn't expect to fall asleep, nor to dream about the sun.

He had to hand the report of the last months. Since another of The Eletti had been called he had been  stuck in Sunnyhell. He had hoped after last year and the hell he had been through, they would have sent him somewhere else, but they had refused, claiming something big was going to happen and that he had to stay and help the Slayer, since she refused to hear from the Council.

He lit a cigarette, while quickly heading toward the rendezvous point. He didn't know what to do of Buffy Summers.

His demon was obsessed with her. It hated her guts, it longed for her blood - well, his demon longed for anyone's blood-...and wanted her dead, his soul respected and liked her...it enjoyed  their fights and bantering. All in all, Buffy Summers exasperated the hell out of him.

He had heard about her even before knowing her. The Eletti always knew about the Slayers, about who they were, who their watchers were. They were linked after all. He had never meant to really kill her ...despite what he had told to the Annoying One _killing the little, obnoxious bastard had been one of the most enjoyable experiences of his life _ and Drusilla, he had just stepped over to stop that stupid crap about St. Vigeous night. Yet when he had seen her in action, that first night outside the Bronze... his demon had actually roared with the pleasure.

His demon had longed for her blood, it had wanted her dead that night at her school. He had really hunted her, played with her...and enjoyed it.

Luckily, in the very end  his soul and Buffy's mom had stepped over.

They had forgiven him for the first slayer he had killed, they had asked him to kill the second...killing a third would have made him intimately acquainted with a stake, he had no doubts about that.

He had planned to distract Drusilla from that idea, but then, a bunch of psychos had come to Sunnydale, first the git who had put that spell on the Halloween costumes, then that boy who wanted to be a vampire.

"People are strange..." he whispered taking a drag from his cigarette. Then the other Slayer had come up, and he had been stuck on that damned wheelchair...Drusilla had regained her strength and of course the first thing she had done was  assembling the pieces of the Judge

< Why did I want her cured in the first place? Oh, yes...I love her!>

He shook his head and grimaced at the thought of the following months. Of course since his life wasn't already enough difficult, Angel had to lose his soul, just when he had been incapacitated.

He had lost his soul for a moment of happiness with the Slayer of all people!

He wished he could tell Buffy about who he really was, just to tell her how utterly stupid she had been to sleep with a vampire...she was the slayer, for god's sake! When Angelus had told him how he had lost his soul he almost couldn't believe it.

Years of practice, had taught him to mask his real feelings, but he had felt for her. He knew how cruel Angelus could be, his then girlfriend had been an unliving proof of it. After all he had been activated because of Angelus.

He hadn't even had the chance to contact the Eletti, perhaps they would have helped Angel, they would have given his soul back to him.

He had known he couldn't rely on Giles. The Watchers usually didn't know about the Eletti. Although he had been informed Giles knew about the Eletti, he couldn't risk to blow his cover asking for his help. He sometimes felt, yet that the Watcher suspected about him. He made a mental note to himself to check on him as soon as possible. Back then, though, he had just hoped, that someone in the Council, contacted the Eletti, but it had been all for naught.

Angelus had taken Dru away from him, had killed the Watcher's girlfriend, he had even scared poor Willow half to death first attacking her, then hanging her goldfishes like Christmas lights....all to hurt Buffy.

Angelus was a sick, sick vampire.

He'd been aware that Angel was dangerous since the beginning. He had half hoped he was still his old self when he had seen him that night at the High School, he would have quickly dusted him, pretending he was furious with him for leaving them.

When he had found out about  his soul, he had been scared shitless. Whether it had been a gift, or permanent, he probably would have talked to him, for the first time he would have had some aid, it would have made things easier for him, unfortunately  his soul hadn't been a gift, it had been a curse.

He knew Angel  had been extremely dangerous, he'd had a gut feeling about that whole matter since the beginning. He had known that if he had lost his soul hell would have broken loose.

Facts had almost proven him right. Almost.

First the Judge. He had been left waiting and hoping the Slayer and her chums would have stopped him.

Being alone, though, had given him the chance to contact the Eletti and to wait for their instructions.

They had told him to wait and see.

Then Achatala.  He had been tempted to just sod off the orders, tell the Slayer about his calling, contact the Council and the Eletti and give Angelus a piece of his fist.

Of course, they had forbidden him to do that. Under no circumstances the world had to know about them. Their calling was even more a secret than the Slayers'. That's why he didn't know who the other active Eletti were.

That's why he had been forced to kill the first Slayer.

...that and because Angelus wanted to turn her.

His orders had been to help the Slayer, then get the hell out of Sunnydale and go to South America where he was needed.

He had to admit Drusilla had surprised him, then. First she had killed the other Slayer, then had kidnapped Giles.
 

Had it been for him, he'd have let Giles die. He wouldn't have been happy about it, he had come to respect him after he'd had the gall to come alone to the factory and hit Angelus with that flaming bat. He had been sure he would have killed Angelus. He knew about him, he knew how dangerous  could be. He knew more about him than the whole Scooby Gang. He also knew, first hand, that Watchers were trained to bear physical torture. Watchers were trained to die if necessary.

He had known he wouldn't have talked. To this day he was still proud of him. Giles hadn't asked for mercy, hadn't begged Angelus to stop, he had barely screamed. His training and his hatred for what Angelus had done to the people he loved had been a shield for him.

Then Buffy had told him Drusilla would have died if Giles did. He had believed her, he had been sure she would have been dust whether Angelus had killed Giles.

What was he supposed to do? He loved Drusilla, both his demon and his soul loved her. He had given up everything for his calling, he had given up his *life* for his calling, to save the world. He hadn't been ready to give up on Drusilla. For once both his soul and his demon had agreed. So he had talked to her, convincing her to take matters in her hands and to go easy on him.

Of course she had been able to make him talk. Trust Drusilla, to be more effective than Angelus with mental torture, like sire, like childe, indeed.

Luckily for them all, Buffy had shown up. He had finally had the chance to hit Angelus. He had wished to do so, for the longest time. He had hit him for what he had done to Dru so long ago, for what he had done to Buffy and her loved ones, for what he had put him through. He had wished he had smashed that sick brain in, instead, just before he was leaving with Dru he had seen he was about to kill Buffy.

He hadn't seen that Achatala was about to open, he had just thought, to get the hell out of that place.

Only later had he been informed through his contacts about what had happened. Just after Dru had left him, he had been ordered to come back to Sunnydale, to check things out and see how things were going on its Hellmouth. He had put on his show and in the meantime had looked for new threats. Angel had his soul and was fighting the good fight. His little speech about love had  put a distance between him and Buffy, for a little while, at least.

He had really been heartbroken but not *that* heartbroken. After he had come back to Dru and helped preventing another of her crazy plans, he had come back to Sunnydale, just in time, to help in preventing the Ascension. Actually it had been a great time, he had worked alone, he had been totally alone for the first time in over a century, free to act how he wanted, free to be himself for a change.

There hadn't been minions, there hadn't been Drusilla. He had worked on his own. He had been some kind of a guardian angel to the Scooby Gang.

After the Ascension he had just begun to plan a vacation, when they had given him another assignment. The Gem of Amara. He had to find it and destroy it.

Something had happened, then. When he had put that damn ring on, he had wanted to keep it to himself. He had been able to go out in the sun. For the first time in over a century he had been out in the sun and he had enjoyed it.

He fought the good fight. Of course his methods were quite questionable, to keep up his facade he killed,  drained people, he turned them, but he was one of the good guys more or less. He had thought he deserved to be able to go out in the sun, to touch a cross without fearing third degree burnt wounds.

He had thought he deserved a little reward,  his fights with the Slayer had made him come to his senses. For the first time he had been sure he could have killed her if he had really wanted to.  He was invincible. He'd felt more powerful than he remembered ever being.

So he had given it to her. Of course he couldn't have *just*  given it to her. He had pushed her buttons, feeding her anger. She had been able to take that ring off, and in the process, besides risking his unlife, he had betrayed the precarious trust she had had on him. He hadn't missed the look of hurt she had given him. He hadn't liked it, but no one had ever said, his was an easy job. His feeling weren't supposed to enter the picture, he wasn't even supposed to *have* feelings.

When he had known Buffy had sent the ring to Angel, he hadn't been surprised, actually he had expected that.  He had wondered, though,  whether Buffy had been thinking straight when she had given that ring to Angel.  He had been tempted to just shook her by her shoulders and tell her, "Are you bloody crazy or what? What if he loses his soul again?  How the hell are you going to kill him if he has that ring on? What if seeing the sun gives him a happy?"

When he had known about that, he had sent his soul to a little well deserved vacation and had gone to Los Angeles, with the clear goal of taking the ring back, kill the bastard once and for all and enjoying every minute of it.

He had failed, of course. Little did he know, that Angel was protected by the Powers that Be. Luckily, deep down...very deep down,  Angel was a smart guy...he had later been informed he had destroyed the ring. He had to admit his respect for him had raised then, it meant he was quite serious with his willingness to help the helpless.

He had been sent to Sunnydale, again as a permanent assignment, since Buffy had left the Council and its resources.

That's when he had been neutered. To say he hadn't been happy about it, meant using an euphemism. He had been as mad as hell. When he had contacted the Eletti they had told him to ask for the Slayer's help. That's how he had found himself in the dorm room. He could have talked to the Slayer and tell her about his real identity...instead he had found Willow. He had been forced to put on an act. He had already known he couldn't hurt humans, it had been his way to let Buffy know about it. 

He recalled that night with fondness. Trust Willow Rosenberg to comfort a vampire, and trust him to comfort a heart-broken human in his own way. He'd always  liked Willow, more than he was ready to admit.  He had escaped and come back to Harm, a few weeks later she had kicked him out and he had been alone and defenseless  and had almost starved.

He had gone to the Watcher asking for his help, after all, in a twisted way they were peers. He had lived with the Watcher for a while,  seeing how he felt useless and old...without his slayer. He had to admit he hadn't really liked Buffy during that period. That man had given up his whole life for her, and she barely remembered he was still alive.

He made another mental note to himself to do something for the two of them...they really needed to talk things out.

At the beginning he had thought he couldn't hurt demons...that, after all was his real goal...hurting humans was a side effect. One he didn't particularly enjoy, but it had been necessary. Not many vampires would have considered him a believable master, whether he had been feeding from animals.

He had been depressed, he had really wanted to stake himself. He had begun questioning the whole point of his existence. He had lost Drusilla, he had believed he couldn't hurt demons, he hadn't very believable as enemy any more.

Luckily Willow and Xander had saved him, Willow showing some concern for him and Xander telling him about the end of the world. They had dragged him with them, when actually he would have needed to act on his own. They wouldn't leave him alone when he needed to research, that's why he had humiliated them. He knew how to push people's buttons. His training  as watcher, with the Eletti and with Angelus had taught him that.

His swift researches had been to no avail, so he had just joined them, thinking he couldn't do anything to help them. He had just watched them fight...then he had discovered he could still hurt demons.

He had really wanted to help them, instead he had almost screwed things up tossing that demon in the Hellmouth, but how was he supposed to know those demons  were the sacrifice?

What was it with demons and their willingness to go all kamikaze just to end the world? Granted, as human he had consciously given up his life...but he had done that to *save* the world.

The following months had been hard on him. He had been through hell. It had been difficult to keep up his cover, kicking demons' asses, and finding out about Adam and his plan....and mostly helping the Slayer and her chums to stop him....without them knowing about it.

In a way he had blown up his cover, when he had openly started fighting demons, officially to satisfy his thirst for violence. The local demons  had him on their shit lists, but he wasn't worried about that, he could take care of himself.

Perhaps Buffy and her friends wondered why he hadn't done something concrete to get rid of the chip, truth was he had been ordered not to take it off. As long as he had that damned chip on, he would have had an excuse to hang around the Slayer and kill demons. Granted, he would have preferred to be chipless, but he obeyed orders.

He had to smile at the image they all had of him. An image he had carefully crafted over the years. He wasn't impulsive, contrary to popular belief he carefully planned everything he did. All of his misses had been planned to the least detail.  He had a tough control on himself. The facade he put on had been mastered with years of practice, and strong nerves. If he had really been that reckless, he wouldn't have lasted a month with Angelus, Darla and Drusilla.

 The Eletti had chosen him for his quick mind, for his cold blood, for his ability to see through people and for his honesty. He was probably one of the eldest among the active Eletti. He knew there were ten of them all over the world, one for each hot spot. They all fought to avoid the end of the world. One would probably think that when they were alive they had been unsteady human beings, cold blooded killers...on the contrary, the Eletti only picked up the purest, the bravest, the more stable among them.

He still recalled the day he had been contacted to become one of the Eletti. How young, how idealist and willing to help the Slayer he had been.

He shook his head while looking around, spotting the guy he was supposed to meet. He saw him across the park. It was a young man, dressed in jeans and black sweater. He had short ash-blond hair. He sniffed the air, he had no smell and his heart beat was very slow, almost inaudible. He smiled, he was his contact.

He looked around making sure no one was watching them, then got close to him saying aloud, "Isn't it a bit late for you to be around in the park, mate?"

The young man raised his head and meet his eyes. The look in his  brown eyes was unmistakable. He was training to become one of them. The man cleared his throat then said, "I enjoy the quiet of the night..."

Spike noticed he had no accent, he shrugged and looking around said, "The night is never quiet, mate...you always have to look behind your shoulders"

"I have eyes behind my shoulders, I'm not afraid" the young man quietly said. Spike bit his tongue not to chuckle at that old phrase. The young man run his right  hand through his hair, he saw on his pinky finger the ring with the sapphire on it.

All of them had one of those rings. When they were activated they put it off. The Sapphire, meant fidelity.

< To stand against the darkness. To be the light within the darkness. >

The young man looked around then said, "You're late..."

"I know, but..." he surprised him, punching him in the face. The violent pain which exploded in his head assured him, the man was still alive. He couldn't ever be too sure about his contacts. God knew what would happen if the Eletti were discovered.

"Hey, what was that for?" the man asked rubbing his jaw.

Spike shook his head, trying to clear it from the pain then said, "I just wanted to make sure of something, mate...nothing personal"

"If you say so..." the man looked at him then asked, "Do you have it?"

Spike nodded, then handed him the floppy. He wasn't worried about its contents, they were encrypted and only a few people knew the codes. He just loved the modern technology. Writing his reports in obscure and very dead languages hadn't been pleasant.

The young man accepted it, Spike looked at him and asked, "What are the orders?"

"Stick around and keep a close eye on the Slayer and protect her...with your life if necessary...she's important, very important."

Spike nodded tempted for an instant to say aloud, "Duh! She's the Slayer, you pillock!" he shook his head  and asked, "What about the others?"

"The usual...keep tracks of the witch's progresses, keep a special eye on the former demon, protect her boyfriend..."

"What about the Watcher? He knows about us and  I think he suspects about me..."

"Keep an eye on him, you know how dangerous he can be with magic. Do you still have the paper and the ingredients?"

Spike nodded.

"Do you know how to perform the rituals?"

"Yes, I do..." he said quietly.  He had requested and obtained the spell's formula which was used on the Eletti when they were activated. It was a spell, which bound the soul of a person to its body in case the said person was vamped. It was permanent, there weren't clauses.

He shuddered at the mere idea of one of them turned. They would have made powerful and deadly vampires, one of them was a slayer, two of them knew and practiced magic and were damn good at it, one was a former demon, the other  one was apparently just an average guy with his heart in the right place, ready to die for each one of them in a heartbeat, if Xander was ever vamped he would have been the more dangerous of them. He sometimes reminded him of Angelus. He suspected that was one of the reasons, the boy hated Angel so much. He could see all too clearly his darkness.

 He had the spell ready, just in case.

"What if he knows?" Spike asked, although he already knew the answer.

The man cocked an eyebrow at him and said, "What do you think? Under no circumstance..."

"The world has to know about us...I know that." He said in a bored voice.

The man nodded, he looked around then gave handed him a blue diskette saying, "I don't know what is this...but they told me to say this, 'Heta7tanatos' "

Spike blinked at the man's words and asked, "Are you sure?"

The man nodded and said, "I'm still training, I get what tanatos is...but what about the other..."

"Nothing, now get the hell out of here and tell them I'll take care of everything and they'll hear from me very soon..." he paused then added, "tell them, if they're right, I'll need another Eletti here pronto..."

"Is it so bad?" the man asked. For the first time Spike caught insecurity in that man's eyes. He sighed, if what the Eletti were saying was true, the covers of all them were at stake, and so was the world, last time he had heard that phrase, he had been forced to kill a whole bunch of people who were planning to open a hellmouth...hence gaining his nickname of William The Bloody. 

Spike was about to answer and tell him that it was indeed very bad, so bad  that he could be forced to ask for the Slayer and her friends' help, when thanks to his enhanced hearing he caught noise of a battle nearby.

< That's the last thing I need right now >  he thought all but sighing. He morphed in his game face.

"Oh, crap!" the man murmured hearing the people fighting.

Spike got up, hiding the diskette  in a pocket of his duster, he looked at him and hissed, "Get the hell away from here, and tell them we need help, as soon as possible...heta7tanatos has probably begun "

The man opened his mouth, Spike growled  and the man got up from the bench,  running then away from him.

Spike closed his eyes, quickly collecting his thoughts, and trying to form a plan. He had totally ignored the signs, heta7tanatos...that  word kept echoing in his mind while he quickly headed toward the noise.

Heta7tanatos.

One of the Eletti had blown up his cover, and someone was looking for them all, to end  the world.

He only hoped he still had time.

-2-

The sight which welcomed Spike when he arrived to the nearby graveyard for a moment made rush what little blood he had left to his ears.

There were demons, everywhere. The air in the graveyard was thick with vampire's dust and the stench of killed demons' blood. Buffy, Giles, Willow, Anya and Xander were all fighting. Seemingly from nowhere demons and vampires kept appearing.

Spike looked around, recognizing the demons...he was sure Giles was having a field day, seeing first hand almost all the demons he had studied at the Guild.

Buffy saw him, she managed to say while fighting a vampire, "Did you come to gloat, Spike?"

"Actually" he said, breaking the neck of  a demon that had attacked him, "I'm here to help..."

"Cool...let's help, then" she managed to say, before staking a vampire.

Spike shrugged and got close to Buffy, kicking and punching demons and vampires who got in his way.

They kept fighting, backing each other up, trying to protect the others. Truth was the demons and vampires were just too many for them and he wasn't sure whether they could  hold their own for much longer.
 

For the first time in longer he cared to remember Spike was scared.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"Oh my God...how many of them, still?" Buffy asked without looking behind her shoulders. She sighed, trying to ignore the pain she was feeling and turned looking at her friends.

They were all so tired and hurt. Xander's left wrist was broken, yet he was keeping fighting. Anya was by his side, her clothes were shredded and dirty with blood and slime. She was holding  a stake in her shaking hand ready to defend herself from the vampire that was approaching her.

Giles was fighting against an ugly green demon, his movements with the sword almost too quick for the eyes to catch. He was bleeding  from various wounds, yet he almost didn't seem to care about it. As always he was covering her back.

Willow was lightly apart from all of them, she was slowly chanting, yet she was holding a crossbow in her hands. She had been unarmed.

Spike was by her side, she could have sworn he was panting, just like her.

"Too many, ducks..." Spike said in a low voice. "too many"

Buffy turned and looked at the vampire. He was bleeding too, he was hurt, she could see it. There was a strange look in his eyes, an humanity she had never seen before. She briefly wondered why he hadn't run, why he had stayed with them and had fought by their side. Blood thirst wasn't an excuse.

She shrugged, deciding she was going to have a long talk with the vampire if they survived the night,  and asked, "Too many, uh?"

Spike just nodded at her words. Buffy almost smiled when she said, "Well...that doesn't mean, we will go out without a fight..."

Spike couldn't help grinning at her words. He looked around and said,  "Not bloody likely, ducks."

Buffy suddenly turned and kicked a vampire that was behind her, quickly staking him. She looked at Spike, then pointed at her friends with her eyes and said, "Watch their backs..." 

Spike just nodded at her words. Buffy took some steps forward, and took a deep breath before spin kicking a demon which attacked her.

Buffy looked at Spike, he was fighting trying to protect her friends. He was fighting as if he cared for them. He shouted when a demon suddenly grabbed Willow from behind her shoulders. Spike charged  the demon with an animalistic roar, she was about to join him when he heard a cry.

A masculine, sharp cry of pain.

"Giles..."  she whispered recognizing the cry's source.

She turned. Giles was being held by a demon, it was gripping his shoulders. She aimed the crossbow at it. The demon looked at her and she surprised her almost making her drop her crossbow, when it spoke, "Drop it...or I'll rip him in two" to prove his point he gripped Giles' arms and began pulling them.

 She let fall the crossbow, and hissed through clenched teeth, "Let him go..."

She heard Spike saying the same things at the demon that was holding Willow. She looked at Xander and Anya, vampires were holding them too.

She briefly wondered why they were still alive, why they hadn't just drained them and discarded their bodies on the ground.

Adrenaline and fear were humming in her blood and she was sure the vampires and the demons could feel it. She took deep breaths and looked at Giles, he looked back at her, incredibly he smiled at her, a pained smile, but a smile nonetheless.

She smiled back at him but her smile quickly faded when Giles nodded and mouthed, "Do it..."

She nodded back, tears glistening in her eyes, while taking a step forward, ignoring his cries of pain as the demon began pulling at his shoulders.

SLAYER! 

Buffy turned toward the voice, ignoring the sudden excruciating pain in her abdomen and the Goosebumps which had covered her skin, all her skin.

A purple halo radiated from the figure who was calling her, that voice radiated evilness. Buffy couldn't help swallowing, though her throat was dry.

The voice spoke again, saying something in a language she didn't understand, she saw Spike growling at those words and answering in the same language.

I'LL KILL YOU...BOTH OF YOU

The voice said. Buffy wasn't able to see through the purple halo, she stepped back when it got closer to her. She had never been that afraid.

BUT NOT NOW

The voice continued, amused. A purple mist suddenly surrounded them all. She looked around trying to break free from it, but she found out she couldn't move. She heard the others' screams, and deep laughters. A wave of nausea hit her and she closed her eyes . She needed to breath but she didn't let herself breathe in that purple, thick, mist.

Her eyes suddenly flew open. The mist had disappeared and with it the vampires, the demons and that voice.

Her knees gave out, she knelt on the grass taking deep breaths. She looked around and spotted Anya and Xander, they  were lying unconscious on the grass, she crawled toward them and let out a relieved sigh when she realized they were both alive.

"Giles?" she called looking around. She slowly stood up walked toward the point where Giles had been held. His sword was on the grass and so were his glasses. They were shattered.
 

"Oh God..." she whispered kneeling and taking the broken glasses in her hands, "Oh, God.." she repeated, blood stained one of the lenses.

"I don't think *God* fits into this picture, Slayer."

Spike's cold voice said from behind her shoulders. She got up and turned around, Spike glared at her, he was in full game face. His yellow eyes sparkled in the night when he said, "They've taken him."

Buffy was surprised to detect an expression akin to pain in the vampire's face and in his voice when he added, "They've taken Red, too..."

Buffy looked at the blonde vampire, she had never seen him looking that scared. She clutched the glasses against her chest and asked, "What's happening, Spike?"

Spike shook his head, no matter how much he wanted to reveal his real identity he couldn't do that. His suspicions had been confirmed. Someone knew about the Eletti. The entity behind the purple mist had talked to him in ancient Greek, reciting him the oath the Eletti in training, took before being activated.

Heta7tanatos had begun.

-3-

"Ego damno vos ad iterum facendum" [I thee condemn to repeat]

The demon said blowing at the purple mist and at  the two people who lied unconscious in it.

"Ego damno vos ad perpetuum dolorem, perpetuum tormentum" [I thee condemn to everlasting sorrow, everlasting heartache]

The demon smiled showing his razor sharp fangs, when Giles and Willow began screaming.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Willow Rosenberg shook her head when she felt the purple mist disappearing. She was lying on the damp grass, her eyes were closed,  she let out a breath but winced in pain, she could feel a weight on her, she shifted trying to pull herself free and slowly opened her eyes. Spike's upper body was lying above hers.

The body of the demon that had been holding her was lying  next to them, its stench almost unbearable.

She vaguely remembered Spike charging the demon, before that purple mist had enveloped them.

Willow looked down at Spike. He was pale, too pale, too cold...even for a vampire. There was blood around them, too much blood and she was sure it wasn't hers alone. She jerked her head up when she heard a scream and the familiar noise of a vampire turning in dust after being staked.

Buffy was kneeling on the grass, Willow let out a strangled sob when she saw the sharp edge of a knife emerging from her chest. Giles who had apparently killed the demon that had been holding him, was immediately by her side, picking her in his arms, blood was pouring from her mouth while she tried to form words.

 Willow looked at Giles while he gently tucked a damp lock of blonde hair from her face, staining it with blood. Buffy tried to say something but she could only cough, more blood poured from her mouth, she tried to raise a hand to touch his face, but it abruptly dropped. Willow knew in that moment, that Buffy was dead.

"Oh no..." she whispered. "Oh, Goddess no...please no...she can't be dead..."

Giles seemed oblivious of Buffy's death, though. He kept holding her in his arms, whispering something she couldn't...didn't want to hear.

Willow blinked, letting the tears roll on her cheeks, she lightly started when the vampire in her arms stirred, "Spike?" 

She slowly asked resting her back against a tombstone and pulling the vampire in her arms, only then did she notice the hole in his shirt. With trembling fingers she moved the edges of his shirt to take a look at the wound.

She felt her eyes filling with new tears at the sight, Spike had a hole in his chest, as big as a fist. She realized that  the demon had probably dug his arm in it, ripping half of his heart out of it

The blonde vampire slowly opened his eyes, Willow realized it was painful for him to do that. "Willow" he rasped.

"Sssh..." she shushed him, ignoring the fact that he'd used her name, and its implications. She caressed his hair and whispered, "Don't talk..." 

"I feel like...shit..." he murmured closing his eyes.

"Don't worry, you're going to be fine..." she whispered.

" 'Don't think so..." he mumbled, "the tosser took half of my heart.."

"No...you're not going to die..." she stated shaking her head, tears were streaming on her cheeks. She'd just lost her best friend, she wasn't going to lose Spike too.

Spike couldn't help smirking at her words. He opened his eyes and looked at her weakly saying, "Sorry to break this to you, luv...but I'm already dead..."

"NO!" she shouted. "You won't dust on me, do you hear me? Please Spike..."

Spike looked at her and whispered, "I can't help it..."

"Don't leave me alone..." she almost sobbed, blinking at what she was saying.

Spike half smiled at her words and teased, "I didn't know you cared so much..."

"I do..." she choked out between sobs, tracing his cheekbones with her fingers, wincing at how cold they were. She saw Spike's smile widen while life was quickly leaving his broken body. He slowly raised his hand taking hers to his lips, he kissed her fingers and whispered before closing his eyes,  "Me too"

Willow squeezed Spike's hand in hers, sobbing. That couldn't be true...that was just a nightmare...it had to be.

She felt her heart, her own soul shatter when Spike's body turned in dust. She clenched her hand in a fist, trying to keep the ash which had been Spike's hand.

It couldn't be true...Spike couldn't have left her. She was *mortal* . She had been supposed to die, first.

"No..." she whispered shaking her head, her whispers turning into screams, when a sudden gust of wind took Spike's ashes away from her.

"Damn you, Spike!" she shouted, "Damn You!"

She closed her eyes, feeling she was about to pass out, she gratefully accepted the darkness which engulfed her, seeking comfort in its oblivion.

While she closed her eyes she realized  she finally knew how hell was really like.

Spike's death was her hell.

-4-

They hadn't talked while they'd headed to Giles' house after their trip to the hospital. Oddly it had been Spike who had insisted about them going to the hospital, claiming they weren't going to be of any help to Giles and Willow if still hurt.

None of them had uttered a single word after that remark. Buffy looked at the vampire, who was driving them to Giles' house, his eyes on the road, his jaws clenched. Buffy lightly squirmed in her seat, she didn't want to admit she was afraid of him in that moment. She saw he was barely containing its demon's rage.

She knew Spike didn't gave a damn about them. As he'd reminded them time and again, the only thing which kept him from killing them was the chip.

He'd betrayed them, yet in the end had helped them, thinking about it his betrayal had helped them sorting things out.

She'd always suspected Spike liked Giles. What she'd never imagined was that Spike liked Willow, as well.  There was something she couldn't understand about him, his whole behavior that night had surprised her, to say the least.

<Can this night  get any weirder?>

She silently wondered, her eyes filled with tears when she heard Willow's voice telling her she'd just jinxed herself. She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes thinking about Giles.

She couldn't let herself feel the pain, she couldn't let the emptiness claim her...or she wouldn't have ever been able to help Giles and Willow.

Later, she was going to explore the depth of her feelings...and let them kill her, if her friends were dead.

If Giles was dead.

For now, she just have to find them. No matter what.

She opened her eyes and looked at Spike realizing he was probably thinking the same things, she
cleared her throat and softly said, "We'll find them, Spike."

Spike looked at her, for the first time since they'd left the graveyard, his glare was as cold as ice as cold as his voice when he said, "You can bet on it, Slayer..."

Buffy saw even what the vampire wasn't telling her...

Whoever had taken Giles and Willow was dearly going to pay. For the first time since she'd known him, Buffy totally agreed with him.

~~*~~*~~*~~

They all went into full research mode, as soon as they entered Giles' apartment, though they were all hurt and tired, they just couldn't let themselves rest. They didn't want to waste precious time. It was dawn when Spike finally told them to go to sleep.

Spike was tired and angry. He realized his cover was slowly shattering, but after that night he didn't have time to think about his facade. Heta7tanatos was more important than anything else. The fact that the demon had taken Giles and Willow showed how much serious that matter was. He'd had barely time to contact the Eletti, since they had returned to Giles' apartment.

It was strange how he'd slipped into the role of leader of the Scooby Gang, he thought. Never had he been so glad about the heavy training he'd had when he was still alive. He realized that not even Buffy had paid attention to that, although he hadn't missed the strange looks she had been giving him. He knew she was on to something...probably not his calling, not his real identity, but she suspected, that was enough. 

Now he was alone, in the watcher's living room, reading old text that talked about demons and prophecies. When he was still alive, he had spent countless hours reading them, studying them. His cover of bad-ass-master vampire, didn't include depth knowledge of obscure texts, that had been a bonus. Only Dalton had been aware of his knowledge's depth. He had been sent by the Eletti to help him...too bad, he had been fried by the Judge.

The texts weren't very clear about the entity that had taken Willow and Giles. A purple mist was usually associated with the Amethyst order. Necromancers and warlocks.

Heta7tanatos meant humans and demons had associated to end the world.

He shook his head. Men and women like him, for centuries had given up their lives, to join the Eletti, trying to save the world.

Most of them were alone, they gave up  love, family and friends to do so. He had been lucky, he had had Drusilla...and when she'd left him and he had been assigned to Sunnydale on a permanent basis, there had been the others. The ScoobyGang.

His demon respected them, because they were valid opponents. His soul...he respected them, for their strength, for the loyalty they showed to the Slayer...for the fact that though not being forced by a calling as in Buffy or Giles' case, they stayed and fought risking their lives, risking their souls.

He couldn't get why people...regular people wanted to end the world. He could see the demons' points....but why humans wanted to do that was beyond him.
 

He closed his eyes thinking about Willow and Giles. He understood now, why there were such strong regulations about caring for humans.

Truth was he cared about both of them, more than he wanted to admit...and that was a weakness he couldn't afford right now.

He opened his eyes when he heard steps approaching, he knew without a doubt who it was, Buffy.

The vampire turned and looked at her noticing she was wearing one of Giles' shirt and a pair of shorts and said, "You should rest, Slayer...you're still weak."

"I will survive..." she said, sitting on the couch next to him, Spike looked at her and said, "You have to regain your strength...get the hell out of here and go to sleep."

"I can't..." she said in a low voice.

"You have to" he all but growled.

"I can't close my eyes...I'm too worried...."  She said, shaking her head when she realized she had just admitted her weakness to one of her worst enemies. It was just...for the life of her, she couldn't see him as an enemy...not after that night.

"Fine...don't close your eyes then...just lay still and let your Slayer's healing works its magic..." he snapped.

Buffy took a deep breath and looked at the vampire, his hair was tousled, she'd seen him running  his hands through it quite often for the last hours, he was paler than usual.

<What the hell is going on here?>

She silently wondered. He'd never looked so concerned, so worried, not even for Drusilla. She shook her head and asked, "What's happening, Spike?"

The vampire looked at her, seeing the meaning behind her words, yet he shrugged and said, "It looks sodding clear to me, slayer..."

"Why did you fight with us last night?" she asked looking at him.

Spike looked back at her, tempted to tell her the truth...but unless the Eletti gave him the all clear, he couldn't, so he just cocked an eyebrow at her and said, "Who said I was fighting *with* you? I was fighting the demons...a nice, good spot of violence ...."

"Tell me another one, Spike...." She snapped. "I don't believe you! I saw you fighting the demon that had broken Xander's wrist and beat it in a bloody mess...I saw you charging the demon that was holding Willow..."

"They were nearer..." he replied.

"Yeah, right..." she paused for an instant then she surprised him punching him on the nose

"Ow....you BITCH!" He growled.

"I want the truth, Spike...and I want it now! What did the demon tell you? Why were you fighting with us? Why are you still in Sunnydale?" she asked, marking each question with a punch.

Spike got up from the couch and surprised her, calmly saying, "You're not ready for the truth, Slayer....and it doesn't matter now...we have to find Red and the Watcher...and kill whatever took them..."

Buffy shook her head and whispered, "You're right...but we're not finished, Spike...I want answers....and I'm more than ready to hear the truth"

Spike smirked at her words but said, "Perhaps you're right... "

Buffy shrugged and said, "So, what are we going to do?"

"Research for now...we've got to know who are we dealing with before we can do anything...isn't what your watcher always says?" he paused and looked at the Slayer, she was close...too close to the truth...and it was still too soon, he got close to her and whispered against her face, "Or have you forgotten while playing GI-Jane?"

"Bastard" she said through clenched teeth.

Spike cocked an eyebrow at  her and said, "That I am, ducks..."

Buffy looked at him and decided to let it drop. She really wasn't in the mood for her usual banter with the vampire, though she realized his last attack had been a  way to distract her from  what was happening, so she took another deep breath before asking, "Did you find anything?"

Spike ran a hand through his hair. Should he tell her what he knew, what he had found out? He wasn't supposed to read dead languages, but he knew she had heard what the demon had told him and recognized that he had been speaking to him in a language he wasn't supposed to know, so he shrugged and said, "Not much....I'm not the brainy one, here remember? "

Buffy swallowed, trying to fight back tears, her voice was cracked when she said, "Giles is"

"And Red..." Spike added. Buffy raised her head, surprised by the softness in the vampire's voice. She got up and said, "I know someone who can help us..."

Spike looked at her and said, "Look ducks, if you're going to call Peaches... "

Buffy shook her head and said, "No, I'm not..."

"Who then?"

"Ethan Rayne" she whispered.

"Ethan_ Halloween, Eyghon, Bar Candy Incident_ Rayne? " Xander's voice called from atop the stairs.

Buffy turned toward his friend. He looked like death warmed over, yet she couldn't help smiling at his words. She shrugged and said, "He knows magic, black magic, dead languages..."

"He's a bastard...last time he was here, he turned Giles in a demon!" Xander said approaching them.

"Do you have a better idea?" she asked.

Xander looked at her he was about to speak, when Spike interrupted him saying, "Look, I don't care who you call...I couldn't care less even if it was that wanker of my grandsire...just do it!"

"Shit, fang boy I didn't know you cared so much..."

Spike growled morphing in his game face. He was so very tired. Of everything.

He was tired of feigning he couldn't care less about what happened to them, while he actually lurked in the shadows, helping them.

He was tired of putting up with all the crap and the venom that boy threw at him.

Habit and discipline, yet kicked in and he was able to catch up before he did something he could regret. His  voice was as cold as ice when he said, "Look, had it been one of you I'd been celebrating right now, but I *respect* the Watcher, so make that phone call, now!"

Both Buffy and Xander noticed either  Spike hesitancy and the fact he hadn't mentioned Willow, they looked at each other, then Buffy said, "I'll go and try reaching Ethan"

"How do we know he's not part of this?" Xander asked.

Spike smiled at him, "Trust me, once ducks reaches him we'll find out whether he's part of it and I do really hope he isn't... "

"And what if he is? You what? You can't hurt him, can you?" Xander snapped. He couldn't believe they were going to waste time into looking for Ethan Rayne.

"I can..." Buffy whispered. She looked at Xander and repeated, "I can..."

-5-

The demon watched the two humans. It had trapped them in his mist, while waiting for the Slayer and the Eletti to arrive. It needed them. the demon could have easily taken the Slayer and the Eletti during the battle, but when it had sensed the underlying tensions going on among them, it had changed its mind.

The demon watched the two humans mildly interested, it could smell their pain and how it  was slowly melting with the sorrow it was forcing them to endure thanks of its set up. Their mingled emotions, their shared pain  was creating a delicious union which made the demon groan with pleasure

Yes, it decided, taking the Slayer and the Eletti right then, wouldn't have been as funny.

It knew they were going to arrive, after all it had carefully chosen the two humans to make sure they came to him.

The two humans they couldn't live without. It was amusing how a vampire could be as weak as a human where love was concerned...especially if the said vampire was an Eletti.

The demon had always thought the Eletti were a bad joke. When it had found out about their existence it had been delighted.

The Eletti and the Slayer...they could save the world....but their blood could destroy it as well.

The demon laughed thinking how fun was going to be, kill the two humans in front of them, but first thing first it had to pay a visit to the Slayer and the Eletti, it was time to begin its hunt.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Willow had known there was something strange the moment she'd opened her eyes. Living on the Hellmouth and being a Slayerette had taught her to expect the unexpected

Vampires, demons, hyena boys, mummies, zombies, sorcerers, Principal Snyder, werewolves...you name them. They researched on them, they faced them, they slayed them...sometimes they even shagged them...

Nothing, however, not even her vampire self from another dimension had prepared her, to what hit her square in the face shortly after she'd awoken that morning when she'd realized she was reliving the events of the previous day.

<Of all days...why yesterday? >

She wondered  while heading to Giles' apartment. 

<Simple, because it's been the worst day of my life. Yes, Will...your life sucks big time, and that's just another proof of it. >

She looked around knowing exactly what was going to happen. An old woman dropped a bag, just like the day before, she cursed, while kneeling to pick up the oranges and apples which had fallen from it. The day before she'd mused about oranges and apples, thinking as usual about Spike.

She couldn't help the tears which veiled her eyes when she remembered Spike's death. She stopped in front of Giles' apartment and looked around taking in all the details that she usually ignored. She knew she 'd to talk to them about what was happening.

She opened the door of Giles' apartment and let the tears fall when she saw her friends.

Buffy was in the kitchenette, Willow knew her friend had just finished training and was drinking what probably was the mother of all cups of coffee.

Xander and Anya were 'researching' on the couch.

She didn't see Giles, but she heard him arguing with Spike, they were probably in the bathroom. Willow noticed the apartment had been sun proofed.

Spike had been there the previous morning, although she hadn't understood why he had been there, Giles had told her, the previous day something about Spike seeking refuge to him for the night.

"Hey, Will...you took your time to come here, didn't you?" Buffy happily said returning from the kitchenette.

Willow looked at her friend, tempted to go to her and crush her in her arms, instead she just said, "Hmm...well yeah..."

Buffy took some steps getting close to her and asked concerned, "Hey, Will, what happened, why are you crying?"

"Nothing..." she lied

<What can I tell her? Oh, Buffy? You died yesterday and so did Spike, but never fear because we're repeating the same day?>

"Nothing, uh ?" Buffy asked crossing her arms over her chest.

Willow nodded flashing her, her best resolve face. She sat on the couch and asked, "Where's Giles?"

" He is in the bathroom with Spike,  he's going to drag him here "

Willow sighed. She wasn't ready to see Spike  knowing that in less than twelve hours he was going to die to save her.

She looked at her best friend, knowing she was going to die in Giles' arms. She clearly recalled how her blood had stained his hands. She clearly remembered how they hadn't even been able to say good-bye to each other, for her death had been too quick, though very painful.

She wondered if she was the only one who had realized what was happening. She looked at her friends, they seemed oblivious of what was going on.

"Why don't you leave me the hell alone?"

Spike's voice came from the bathroom. Willow shook her head and got up, she headed to the kitchenette and took a water bottle from the fridge, taking a long gulp from it, trying to ease the dryness in her throat.

She could still see Spike dying in her arms. she could still feel his lips grazing her fingers. She closed her eyes, resting her head against the fridge when she heard Spike enter the living room with Giles. 

Why had Spike saved her life?

She could  see through her mind's eyes, the hole in his chest, and how half of his heart had been ripped from it.

She took a deep breath while opening her eyes. She had to talk to all of them, she knew they  were eventually going to  believe her. They lived  on the Hellmouth, after all.

She clutched the bottle in her hands and left the kitchenette. Her heart almost stopped in her chest when she saw Spike. He was sitting on a chair scowling at something Giles had just told him.

Never had he looked so handsome to her, as in that moment. Until the day before, she'd been successful at hiding her feelings to him. She'd watched as her crush had become something deeper over the last year but she'd held her feelings back, knowing that nothing good came from loving a vampire.

Even a vampire as strange as Spike. A vampire that had helped the Slayer, a vampire that had been heartbroken when his mate had left him.

A vampire that knew history and not just because he had lived it.

A vampire who once, in his own way had assured her, she was still desirable.

She'd watched as Spike had slowly become the only reason why she woke up smiling in the morning, yet she'd kept hiding her feelings, she'd kept reminding herself he was a soulless vampire.

< He will  die in my arms. >

She thought while sitting on the floor and picking up a book from a table.

< Again.>

She opened the book, avoiding to look at Spike.

< I will still close my hand in a fist to keep his ashes >

She gripped the book's edges, trying to read through the tears which blurred her sight.

<  I will still cry, cursing him for saving my life...condemning to the hell of living without him. >
 

She let out a sob, not caring if anyone had heard her. Her whole body ached to run to Spike and hold him

<Uh... did I mention I love Spike? >

"Hey, Red...what happened?" Spike asked. He didn't look concerned, just curious.

<Well, I do... >

Willow didn't answer him, she looked up and met Giles' eyes, mirrored in his eyes she saw her same pain. The pain of seeing the person you love much of anyone dying in your arms.

< Did I say my life sucks big time? Well, it does...it * so* sucks. >

"It's not just me...isn't it?" she asked, her voice cracked.

< Did I mention I haven't the foggiest idea about what to do? >

Giles slowly nodded. He couldn't help looking at Buffy, who was looking at them concerned.

"How are we going to stop it?" she asked looking at him. She realized it had come out, more as a plea than as a question.

< Is there a way to stop it? >

"I don't know..." Giles whispered.

< Damn, why don't they give you a manual, when they decide to mess with time? Star Trek much? >

She thought. She took a deep breath and closed the book then she looked at Giles, the older man nodded then cleared his throat before saying, "We have a problem."

  -6-

~ He could feel it. The passion, and the fire within himself. It had become too much to bear. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, so fast that he was beginning to wish it would just burst.

Although London during winter was a very cold city, he was hot. He felt his skin burning. He had to go out from that room, from that white sheet of paper, he was looking at.

The words in the sheet, seemed to blur.

He had been activated.

Few words to describe the end of his human life.

Few words and two names.

Angelus and Drusilla. He had to contact them somehow. He had to stop the Scourge of Europe.

William closed his eyes. He felt like jumping out of his skin. He had never felt that restless...

He slipped on his brown duster. He took a look outside the window, it was raining, so hard that he could barely see what was outside. He, took a deep breath while he watched the room where he lived in. It was small, and poorly furnished, a crumpled sheet was on the floor, he knelt taking it in his hands, he lowered his head toward it and closed his eyes, thinking for an instant of his family.

They believed him dead.  He had left them, left to pursue his dreams, to pursue the passion which burned within himself. He wondered whether they had been disappointed in him. He wished he would have had the chance to explain things to them.

He shook his head at those thoughts. He was a Watcher, he was one of the Eletti, sacrifice was part of his life.

He tightened his duster around himself, with that weather, he was going to catch a cold. He couldn't help laughing at that thought. He was going to die, probably  very soon, which difference was a cold going to make?

But he was so hot...he needed that rain, he shrugged then left his room.

He walked slowly down the streets. He marveled admiring how the moonlight reflected on the wet pavement,  giving it  silvery  sparks, he looked at how the rain tickled against the glass of the lamps.

The rain was soaking his shirt and trousers, his shoes had holes in its soles and his feet were cold and wet with rain. He was shivering, yet the fire within himself was far from extinguished.

Usually he could drive his passion elsewhere by  spying on the vampires. He had learnt to block out his feelings. that night, though it seemed too difficult. That  night even breathing seemed too difficult.

That, was probably his last night as human. That could probably be the last time his feelings were pure and not contaminated by the demon that was going to live within himself.

Yet, unconsciously, he was already looking for them, for Angelus or Drusilla.

There weren't many people on the street that night, just the usual guttersnipes and  whores. He briefly pondered whether he could afford a whore for a last shag as human. Not that he usually went looking for them, he couldn't afford them and besides, although shy, he wasn't ugly. There were women who fancied him, he wasn't a virgin any more.

Sex for the sake of it usually didn't matter to him. Yet he felt so alone, that night. He sighed feeling his eyes fill with tears, he angrily wiped them away with the back of his hand. He run a hand through his wet hair.

The fire was becoming less intense, more bearable.

"I'm going insane" he whispered closing his eyes, smelling the rain. He took deep breaths, he had always loved rain's smell, it had always had the power to relax him, even the grey smell of London's rain had that power over him.

He opened his eyes, and continued to walk, there was a church nearby, he knew it was always open,
perhaps he would have found some comfort on a sacred ground, although he doubted anything could comfort him in that moment.

He didn't have doubts about his calling, he didn't have second thoughts. He just wished he had more time.

He started when he heard footsteps. He was so used to spying creatures of the night, that he had almost forgotten, how dangerous London could be at night. He turned around toward the steps and his breath caught in his throat.  

Drusilla.

He knew her. He had occasionally spied on her. He had read something about her. He suspected she was insane, and cruel. He knew she was Angelus' childe, they were always together.

Always but not that night.

She was alone, slowly walking under the pouring rain. William swallowed, blocking out his fears, his thoughts.

Looking at her from a closer distance he couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was. She looked like a princess. Her waist length black hair was elegantly picked, her skin was smooth and pale, so very pale. She was wearing a light grey dress, the rain had made it transparent, she was wearing a long, black mantle.

William took some steps forward, getting close to her. He realized her neck and hands were dirty with blood, yet she looked frightened

<It is time to begin > he thought.

"M'lady...are you all right?" he asked

The vampire lightly started, she looked at him for some long seconds, tilting her head on a side, but didn't speak.

"Are you hurt?" he asked. She looked so frail, so broken. He couldn't explain the sudden and ferocious need to protect her, he felt, even knowing whom she really was.

The  woman weakly nodded at his words. William took a deep breath, what was happening to him?

"Did somebody hurt you? You are bleeding"

Drusilla's eyes widened. William noticed their color...and suspected that if he wasn't careful he could lose himself in them.

"M'Lady? Talk to me...should I call your parents, the police?" he asked, wondering at how fast his heart was beating. 

Drusilla got closer to him. Rain drops were beading her beautiful face. He resisted the urge to wipe them  away with his fingers.

She  looked into his eyes and  told him in a sing-song voice, "My daddy doesn't want me home,  tonight."

"You shouldn't walk alone at nights...it could be dangerous for you." William said.

"He said I have to come back before dawn...he doesn't want the sun to kiss me" she continued, slowly circling him.

Drusilla grazed his shoulders with a finger, a smile was crossing her lips, "You are so lonely..."

William closed his eyes. He head read about Drusilla's psychic abilities, he hadn't imagined they were so accurate.

"I am..." he admitted.

Drusilla nodded, while with a finger she traced his neck, she was so close to him now, that she could easily whisper in his ear, "The stars are singing to me. The stars say you have fire in you, you have power, you have darkness...but you have a heart."

William gently took her from her shoulders and looked into her eyes before asking, "What are the stars  telling you?"

She looked back at him before screaming. She slowly  knelt on the wet pavement,  covering her face with her hands, ordering him to go away.

"You want to taste the darkness..." she almost growled when he didn't comply. It wasn't a question, there wasn't uncertainty in her voice. 

William knew that his chance had arrived. He knelt  beside her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders, "I want the loneliness to stop...can you understand that?"

"You can still save yourself...the stars are begging me to spare you from the darkness..." she said in a child-like voice. She screamed again, William looked around to make sure no one was seeing them.

"Perhaps this is the only way to save me... can't  you see it in my heart?" he asked. He knew he was risking to be discovered, but that was probably his only chance. 

"Please, save me..." he added in a low voice.
 

Drusilla raised her head, she was in her game face, "Do you still want to be saved?" she growled.

William nodded, Drusilla tilted her head and said, "The stars say you are not afraid of me...of what I am"

"I want to be like you..."

She nodded at him, then with a non human strength she pulled him to her, tilting with her hand his neck on a side, exposing it.

And death surrounded William Appleton. Death  became him. 

~

Spike  awoke with a start. He hadn't even realized he had dozed off. He ignored the others' looks and bent to pick the book that had fallen on the floor  when he had awoken. He shook his head trying to shake away the restlessness caused by the dream, it had been ages since the last time he had dreamed about the night he had been turned.

Why was he dreaming about when he was still alive? Why that sadness didn't leave him? He had accepted his calling, welcomed it, actually. he didn't have time to think about the past, not when so much was at stake.

He angrily threw the book across the room. He was furious and scared and while he was used to being furious, he didn't like at all being scared....not when there were so many lives at stake...not when fear clouded his mind.
 

No matter how much he tried to, he couldn't remember what had happened when the purple mist had enveloped them. He just recalled the words the entity had uttered...and then the mist. He'd fought it, trying to break free, but when he'd been able to,  the Watcher and Willow had already disappeared.

Heta7tanatos had begun...and to complete it they had taken Giles and Willow as tools. He knew what the Eletti were going to say. They were going to order him, to let them die...they were going to tell him they weren't important.

He knew why Willow and Giles had been taken...they were the people both Buffy and he, cared the most.

He knew that he wasn't going to obey those orders...he wasn't going to let Giles and Willow die.

He was surprised realizing how much he had grown to care about Willow. No one knew about it, and until the night before Spike hadn't even suspected the depth of his feelings for her.

He'd always told himself he had grown to care about her, because she was the only one among them, who showed some real respect to him. She'd been the only one to accept him and understand the hell he'd been through for the last year, for some strange reason they were able to understand each other's pain.

She cared about him and she didn't even know he *wasn't* a soulless vampire...and mostly she didn't care.

Last night, when he'd found out that she'd disappeared he'd realized how deep his feelings were.  He not only cared for Willow...his feelings were much closer to *love*   than mere care.

After Drusilla, he'd believed he would have never loved someone else, not a vampire much less a human. He still loved Drusilla, he hadn't forgot her...and he knew he wasn't going to anytime soon, but he *loved* Willow as well.

He kept repeating to himself nothing good came from loving a human. If anything the whole mess with Angelus and the Slayer had taught him that.

An Eletti couldn't love a human...soul or not. It was dangerous...for everyone. It was a weakness that couldn't be afforded. They hadn't forbidden him to love Drusilla. Actually it had begun as his cover. Even if his love for Drusilla had clouded his judgment from time to time, he had always been able to do his job.

Loving a human was different.

Humans  were just a nuisance.

Images of Willow's smile  flashed in his mind. Willow wasn't a nuisance. She had never been.

Humans were frail, mortal.

He kept telling himself all of this, but it didn't help. His feelings for Willow were still there...and Willow was still missing.

He slammed an empty mug against a wall, ignoring the others' glares, he could see through the corner of his eyes, that Buffy was looking at him with a strange expression on her face.

She understood him, Spike realized. She understood his feelings for Willow, and his anger. She didn't know about his calling, but she understood his feelings, she understood how bitter realization was. She understood  because she was feeling the same things.

He'd seen it in her eyes. He'd watched as the realization of her feelings for the Watcher had slowly dawned on her.

<About damn time>

He thought  while lighting  a cigarette. He knew Giles was crazy for her, he had lived with him for months, after all, and he'd always suspected that if Buffy really looked into herself she would have realized she was in love with him as well.

 He sat on the couch and picked a book, flipping through the pages, without really reading them. They'd spent the day researching and trying to reach that Ethan Rayne bloke, he'd even forced Buffy to train.

While the others thought they were still researching, Spike had actually waited for orders. Orders that he knew weren't going to arrive anytime soon...in the meantime they were helpless, a feeling Spike didn't like to feel, it reminded him of when he'd been confined on a wheelchair.

"I can't believe there's nothing, not even in the Watcher's diaries!" Xander exclaimed throwing away the last of the diaries he'd been reading.

Spike just glared at him, he was very pale, and looked like he was in pain, which he probably was. He'd tried to talk to him into taking pain killers, but he'd adamantly refused, which had only added on Spike's frustration.

"I should go out patrolling"  Buffy said getting up from the floor where she'd been researching.

"Don't even think about it, Slayer...we are to be together if we want to find out what happened to your friends!"

Buffy looked at Spike and hissed, "Does the word 'Sacred Duty' rings any bell to you?"

< If only you knew>  Spike bitterly thought.

"Does the word 'I don't give a flying fuck about it' does the same to you?" he hissed back.

"Giles would want me to keep patrolling" she said.

"Probably, but guess what? He's not here....and you're not leaving this house" he said.

"Or you do what? You tickle me to death?" she said putting her hands on her hips.

"Nothing that a Tylenol can't cure..." he said morphing in his game face.

" C'mon, let me see how you embarrass yourself, Fangless boy!"

"Bitch!" he hissed

"Bloodsucker...oh wait, you can't *suck* anymore" she hissed back

"ENOUGH!!" both Anya and Xander shouted.

Spike and Buffy looked at them, Spike morphed back in his human face while Buffy looked away.

"Buffy? Spike is right you're not going to leave this house...we need you here!" Xander said

"See?" Spike said smirking at her.

"And you...what the hell is your problem, Spike? " Anya asked.

"I'm trying to help you lot!" He shouted

"You're driving us crazy!" Xander retorted "You're worse than Giles at his worst! We're worried sick about them...but they're our friends, what's your excuse?"

Spike shot a furious glance at him then said, "I don't owe you explanations, you little twerp!"

Xander just rolled his eyes and shrugged he was about to say something, when the door of the apartment opened, they all turned and looked toward the person who was standing on the doorway.

"Am I interrupting something?" Ethan Rayne drolly asked entering the living room. He closed the door behind him and smiling asked, "Where's Ripper?"

The blonde human projectile surprised him. Buffy launched at him and pinned him to the wall.

"What is your problem?" he rasped.

"What did you do?" Buffy hissed.

"To who?" Ethan asked

"Whom" Buffy automatically corrected him, she blinked  and suddenly let go of him. She   shook her head, feeling tears swelling in her eyes, she swallowed then whispered, "To Giles and Willow..."

Ethan looked at her then he said, "I don't know what are you talking about..."

"Oh, it's very simple" Xander interjected, "We were fighting demons and vampires, a purple mist suddenly enveloped us, when it dissipated the demons and the vampires had disappeared and with them Giles and Willow "

"A purple mist, you said?" Ethan asked. all of them noticed that Ethan had suddenly massaged his arms trying to get rid of the goosebumps which had formed on them.

Xander just nodded at him. Ethan looked at Buffy and said, "There's nothing you can do...if *it* has taken Ripper and the little witch you just have to pray theirs has been a quick death..."

Buffy grabbed Ethan for the collar of his shirt and hissed, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Hell?" Ethan almost laughed, "You are much closer to the truth than you imagine..."

"He was the answers to your prayer, slayer?" Spike asked getting close to them. He hadn't missed the look of pure terror in the man's eyes. If a sorcerer who adored Chaos was that scared, things were worse than any of them could ever suspect.

Buffy turned to look at Spike, the vampire had morphed in his game face, she shrugged and said, "I guess I was wrong"

Spike took a step closer "Big bloody shook..."

Buffy turned toward the vampire, she looked at him, understanding in their eyes, she smiled and turning toward Ethan she said, "Well...that doesn't mean I can't make it right...say your prayers to your favorite demon Ethan, because you're gonna meet him soon..."

Her hands went on Ethan's throat and squeezed, Ethan choked, "wait...I...can...still...help..."

Buffy's grip on Ethan's throat lessened, she looked at him and hissed, "How?"

"I...can try to locate them..." he rasped...

"He's lying, ducks...kill him" Spike's voice called, Ethan blinked and looked at the vampire, who had morphed back in his human face and had lit a cigarette, he looked amused.

"No...I...know black magic..."

Buffy let go of him and said, "Fine...but if you lie...Spike and I will be glad to finish this..."

"I'm not lying.."

"Prove it..."

Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but he winced when the room was suddenly lit by a bright purple light. They all froze, when a cold purple mist slowly engulfed them. Buffy stood near Spike, trying to see the form moving behind the purple halo, a voice coming from it addressed to her saying,

NO ONE HAS GOT TO HELP YOU, IF YOU WANT THE HUMANS BACK

"What do you want?" Buffy asked, taking a step toward the light

I WANT YOU"

"What do you want from me?" Spike asking stepping near to Buffy.

I WANT YOU AS WELL"

 The voice said.

"What for?" they both asked.

 YOU'RE NOT IN THE POSITION TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS...IF YOU  WANT TO SEE THE HUMANS AGAIN ...I JUST WANT YOU, I DON'T REALLY CARE FOR THE OTHERS

"Well, we're here...what are you waiting for? Let the others go..." Buffy said.

 OH, I'M READY FOR YOU, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY FOR ME, YET

"What is this supposed to mean?" Spike asked, trying to ignore the ancestral fear he was feeling.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ME...IT'S BEEN AN EASY HUNT...TOO EASY...AND I LIKE A GOOD CHALLENGE...

"So, do you want us to find you?"

YES...YOU HAVE THREE DAYS FROM NOW, ONLY THE TWO OF YOU...IF YOU'RE LATE THEY DIE...IF YOU'RE ON THE DOT, LIKE I WANT YOU TO BE, YOU DIE...BUT THEY LIVE...

Spike smirked, "Why me? Why should I care whether the witch and the watcher died? Mate, I'm a demon, remember?"

YOU, A DEMON? YOU KNOW WHAT AND WHO YOU ARE, WE BOTH KNOW WHO YOU ARE...TRAITOR! BUT I WON'T STOP YOU...YOU CAN STEP AWAY, BUT I'VE TO WARN YOU, THOUGH...IF YOU DO THE WITCH DIES AN AWFULLY PAINFUL DEATH...

"So what? You'll get the same question from me, 'why in the bloody hell should I care?" Spike said again ignoring the demon's words. He felt his cover shatter under Buffy's gaze, but he didn't care, he went on saying, "I'm a demon...I'd ask you to let me watch...'"

Buffy shot an angry look at Spike, the vampire ignored her but said, "What did you expect, slayer? I'm a demon, after all...I quit, do what you want, I won't participate to your little hunt"

I'LL KILL BOTH OF THEM AND THE SLAYER...

"Be my guest..." he smirked and said, "You know what I think? I think that it's no true we need you...it's you who need us, you need both of us, don't you? You want us go looking for you? Fine...but we'll play by my rules..."

I COULD KILL ALL OF YOU IN A EYELASH...

"No you can't...not now, at least...you said it, mate...*we* have to be ready for you...so now, I'll tell you what..."

YOU HAVE THREE DAYS FROM NOW...IF YOU'RE LATE THEY BOTH DIE...

The voice said interrupting them.

"Yes you already told this...but how do we know they aren't already dead?" Buffy asked.

THEY AREN'T...I'M JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN WITH THEM...

The demon actually chuckled at his words before adding,

I'M NOT SURE, THOUGH, WHETHER YOUR FRIENDS ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME...I WOULDN'T BE LATE IF I WERE YOU...

"Where..." Buffy began.

The demon interrupted her saying,

WE'RE CLOSE, IF THAT CAN HELP...

with that the voice and the purple light disappeared

"Gee thanks..." Buffy muttered under her breath trying to shake away the dizziness, she took a look at the occupants of the room. Xander and Anya were both lying on the couch, apparently unconscious

< That's really becoming a habit... >

She thought, shaking her head. Ethan was sitting on the floor, leaning his head  against a wall, breathing heavily, he was very pale. She shrugged and looked at Spike, the vampire snorted and moved toward the sorcerer, while she approached her friends. She knelt next to them and woke them up.

Spike helped Ethan to his feet, ignoring Buffy's glares. He didn't have time to deal with her questions. His mind was quickly forming a plan. He was sure the Eletti weren't going to reach them in time...so he had to act quickly...there was just one option.

He could feel Buffy's look on him. he knew she wanted answers and realized lies weren't going to be enough that time. He turned toward Buffy. the woman looked at him  and said, "I think you owe me an explanation...Spike..."

"I don't...but I'll tell you the truth. Not here though, and sure as hell not now."

They stayed in silence for some minutes, then Buffy said, "So...what do we do?"

Spike shrugged and said, "We'll go to him..."

Together they began planning.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Giles looked at Willow, the young witch was frantically researching on her trusty laptop, she apparently couldn't help the tears which kept veiling her eyes. He sighed, trying to block away the heartbreaking images of a dying Buffy trying to tell him she loved him, and how he had whispered he knew, he'd always known, even after she'd died.

He had heard Willow's heart wrenching screams, he'd at first thought they were about Buffy, only when he had turned he'd realized Spike had died. He had died to save Willow's life, just like Buffy had died to save his.

He hadn't been able to let Buffy go to get closer to Willow, had just held Buffy tighter to him, while tears had spilled down his cheeks landing on Buffy's forehead.

The last thing he remembered was Xander forcing him to let go of his hold on Buffy, while Anya tended on Willow, who hadn't regained consciousness. Xander had inadvertently squeezed his dislocated shoulder, and he had passed out, greeting the darkness which had taken him away from the hell of living without Buffy.

When he'd awoken, he'd immediately understood something was wrong. It had took a while for him to realize what was wrong. When he'd seen Spike watching the tv in his living room, he'd realized he was reliving the day before.

He got close to Willow and sat next to her asking, "How are you feeling?"

The red-head looked at him and whispered, "I'm afraid, Giles...I don't want them to die..."

"I know...I don't exactly fancy it myself." He said taking out his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"How is Buffy?"  Willow asked.

"Confused, I think..."

"You didn't talk to her?" Willow asked.

"No...and you didn't talk to Spike, either."

"What should I tell him, Giles?" Willow weakly asked. "Oh, please don't dust on me?"

Giles saw how Willow had looked at her hand, closing the left in a fist and had shaken her head. He lengthened a hand and closed it over hers saying, "We shall find a solution, Willow..."

The young red-head nodded her head, she raised it and looking at him said, "She would kill me, if she knew I'm gonna tell you this...but..." she swallowed "she loves you..."

Giles averted his gaze from her and whispered, "I know..."

"How?" she said.

"She tried to tell me..." he lightly shook his head and continued, "Although I've known for a long time."

"Why didn't you...?"

Her words were interrupted by Buffy and Spike who returned in the living room. They'd  been talking in Giles' bathroom about what was going to happen, and had surprisingly reached the same conclusion...they were going to patrol with the others, after all.

Giles immediately left Willow's side and  headed toward the kitchenette, Willow looked at Buffy a pleading look in her eyes, Buffy swallowed and nodded, following the man in the kitchenette.

Giles was resting his head against the fridge, his eyes were closed. They had been researching all day to no avail. He heard Buffy enter the kitchenette, and sighed.

He lightly tensed when he felt her hands on his back. He resisted to the urge of turning around and enveloping her in his arms, to never let her go. He shook his head and whispered, "You won't go out patrolling tonight..."

"Giles..." she began. Giles interrupted her, though, saying, "No, Buffy...please listen to me...just once...listen to me..."

"I can't...I've talked to Spike about it and believe it or not, for once we agreed...we're going out with you..."

Giles turned and grabbed her wrists in his hands hissing, "You don't understand...if you go out tonight, you will die! We haven't been able to understand what is happening..."

"If we don't go with you, you'll die...all of you...but if we go, we might change what happened..."

Giles shook his head, tightening his grip on Buffy's wrists, "You can't be serious... "

"I am. I won't let you die, Giles...none of you. I'm the chosen one, remember? " she said.

"We don't even know, what are we dealing with, Buffy..." he looked at her with pleading eyes, Buffy swallowed but shook her head, she grazed his forearm and said, "If I'm about to die...it won't make any difference...at least, I'll be sure you won't die..."

Giles swallowed. he raised a hand and grazed her hair, before closing his eyes

<Please, don't take her away from me... >

~~*~~*~~*~~

Willow could hear Buffy and Giles talking in the kitchenette, she hoped they could sort their problems out. She heard Spike behind her. She knew she should have probably talk to him, but she couldn't, she wasn't sure, she could talk to him, without crying, right now.

~  I didn't know you cared so much

I do

Me too ~

<Dammit! >

Willow thought  looking at Spike. The vampire was sitting on the couch, avoiding her, Willow shook her head, they'd been avoiding each other all day.

She got up from the chair and sat next to Spike on the couch, she looked at him, taking in all the details on his face, realizing she didn't need to do that, she already had his features engraved in her heart, in her soul.

She didn't notice Spike had been glancing at her until he said, "Pet, what are you looking at?"

"The scar on your eyebrow..." she replied absently, then shook her head and mumbled, "Sorry..."

He frowned, and asked amused, "Well what about it?"

"How did you get it?" she softly asked, tempted to touch it with her fingers.

"A fight..." he replied lighting a cigarette.

"Why this doesn't surprise me?" she softly said..

Willow saw Spike smiling at her words and couldn't help the new tears that veiled her eyes. she hadn't even realized that Spike's smile had faded until through the tears she saw him shaking his head at her and say, "Look, Red...I'm not really looking forward to turning into a big pile of dust...but..."

Willow shook her head and attempted a smile, she took a deep breath then said in a firm voice, "You won't. I won't let it..."

"Why?" he asked in a low voice. Willow didn't speak. She didn't have the courage to tell him the truth. She didn't have the courage to tell him, how much she loved him and how much his death had affected her

 <Well, duh, Willow! As if he didn't know...you haven't been able to stop crying since you came here this morning >

"Red?" Spike's voice made her start, she looked at him and shrugging she said, "Because we're friends..."

"Are we?" Spike asked frowning.

Willow nodded and said, "And because I don't want you to die..."

"Sorry to break this to you, luv but..." he started

"You are already dead..." she finished in a cracked voice, "I know...you already told me "

"When?" Spike asked puzzled.

"Yesterday...just before ..." she shook her head and hid her face in her hands, she didn't want Spike to see her tears, but couldn't help it, when she felt Spike's arms around her shoulders.

She raised her head and met his eyes, he was softly smiling at her, there were no traces of his usual cockiness in it, he pulled her closer to him and said, "Well, you already knew that..." he paused then added, "look...I know it's been tough for you ...but this doesn't mean it's going to happen again, that's why ducks and I decided to go with you on patrol"

She pulled away from him and asked, "What?"

"You heard me, Red..."

"Yes and I can't believe my own ears!"

"Red look, " he began.

"Look what, Spike? Look at you while you turn on dust on me? Look at you as one moment I'm  holding your hand and a second later I'm clutching your ashes?" she shouted.

"You are not sure this will happen again, and however it would be better than me, holding your dead body!" he shouted back.

They were looking at each other, their faces serious, then Spike pulled her at him and kissed her, hard.

Willow blinked surprised, then closed her eyes, sighing in his mouth, giving in the sensation. She had day-dreamed at times, about being kissed by Spike. She had imagined it in many ways, but was not prepared at the sensations which overwhelmed her.

His mouth was ravishing hers, making her heart pound against her chest, so fast, she was *positive* Spike could be deafened by it. Spike was holding her tightly to him, his hands were stroking her hair, while the other was firmly on her waist.

The kiss wasn't sweet, in it there was all the passion, the fear, the desperation of losing  each other.

He abruptly pulled away from her, and calmly looked at her, while she was panting. Although his eyes were yellow, now, he hadn't morphed in his game face. Willow wasn't scared though, she stretched her hand to his face and grazed his cheeks. Spike, though, jerked away from her and got up from the couch, storming outside the apartment

Willow looked stunned at the door and covered her face with her hands, muttering between sobs, "This sure as hell didn't happen yesterday!"

-7-

Xander Harris was tired and in pain. He hadn't been able to sleep since Willow and Giles had been taken. Each time he closed his eyes images of his friends  conjured  in his mind. Images of pain and torture, he had refused to take the pain killers for that very reason.

He didn't know what to think of Spike's behavior, he had acted as if he really cared for both Giles and Willow and was now planning their rescue with Buffy.

Since the demon had disappeared they hadn't fought any more. They had reached a truce of some kind and were now working together.

Anya had taken care of his car, sunproofing it, for Spike's sake. He honestly didn't know what to think about the vampire. He was seeing him under a whole new light. He had troubles reconciling the image of their enemy, to that of the guy who was helping them, now.

They were about to leave Giles' house, they didn't know where their friends were, but both had felt they were still somewhere near Sunnydale. They were now packing the weapons they were going to use, though Ethan had warned them that common weapons weren't going to be of any help against their foe.

"Are you sure, you don't want us to come with you?" he asked looking at Buffy.

The Slayer looked at him and said, "Yes, Xand. I'm sure...we have to play by that jerk's rules if we want Will and Giles back..."

"What's going to happen to you?" he asked, though he was afraid of what she was going to tell him.

"Well, it's plausible the demon will attempt to kill us" Buffy said.

"Yeah...but it's likely we will kick its ass" Spike said closing a bag loaded with weapons.

Xander looked at him, then at Buffy and said, "Be careful..."

"Of course we'll be careful...we'll bring them home..."

<Yeah, but at what price?>

Xander thought. He shook his head and looked at them. There weren't traces of their previous animosity, for the first time since he had known them, they really looked like a team, a deadly one.

Buffy got close to him and hugged him, she then parted from him and  looking at him said, "You need to rest...we'll need you when we come back"

Xander nodded feeling she was trying to reassure him with her words. He didn't remember ever being so afraid and worried for his friends. he let go of her and held her hands in his for a second before saying, "You'd better go..."

Buffy just nodded, she took a backpack from the couch and looked at Spike then together they left the house.

Xander waited for some seconds before letting himself slumping on the couch, the pain and the worry too strong for him to bear.

~~*~~*~~*~~

It was exactly like the day before, Giles thought looking around while fighting a green demon. He could hear Buffy asking Spike how many demons and vampires were still charging them. He knew that in a few seconds a demon was going to attack him.

It all happened so quickly, he'd just dispatched the green demon, when the other grabbed him from behind

He couldn't help crying in pain when the demon's claws pierced his skin.

When Buffy turned toward him, he knew time was going to repeat itself. The purple mist engulfed them. He tried to see through it, tried to fight the dizziness caused by it. He couldn't see anything through it, he could just hear screams, Buffy and Spike's screams. He closed his eyes while the mist slowly faded.  

He knew what was going to see once he opened his eyes, and the sight which welcomed him when he opened them  confirmed his thought, Buffy had been stabbed.

 He rushed toward his Slayer, not caring about the fact, that the demon had lessened its grip on his shoulders.

She was kneeling on the grass, the sharp edge of a silver dagger emerged from her chest, blood stained her white tank top. He knelt beside her and took her up in his arms, he could hear in the background Willow strangled sobs, Xander trying to comfort Anya, despite the pain which was clear in his voice.

<It can't be happening again...it can't be true...>

A voice in his mind kept saying, while he looked down at her. Blood was pouring from her mouth while she tried to form words. Giles shook his head  and whispered, "Don't talk...we'll get to the hospital...we have plenty of time to talk"

<Oh, God please no...>

Buffy weakly shook her head, while he gently tucked a damp lock of blonde hair away from her face, staining it with blood, unconsciously repeating the previous night's gestures. He couldn't believe this was happening again, he couldn't believe he had  Buffy's warm blood on his hands,  it was staining his sweater. He could see life quickly leaving her.

Buffy tried to say something but she could only cough, more blood poured from her mouth, she arched her head trying to breath. He could barely  hear the words she was trying so hard to say, "Lo...love you"

"L...love you" she kept mouthing.

 He pulled her closer oblivious of the tears which were dampening his cheeks, whispering, "Sssh...I know, love...I've always known...I love you too"

He closed his eyes when Buffy tried to raise a hand to touch his face, knowing that she was dying, that just as the day before it'd  abruptly drop on the grass and Buffy's body went limp in his arms.

Giles opened his eyes,  he shook his head and tightened his hold on her murmuring  against her face, "You can't leave me, Buffy...I love you so much...please...don't leave me..."

But he knew she couldn't listen to him, any more. He kept whispering nothings to her, he kept whispering to her how much he loved her, oblivious of  his surroundings, the only thing which mattered to him, was the lifeless body in his arms

It was Willow's heart wrenching screams, which broke his numbness, still holding Buffy's body in his arms he turned toward the red-head, her skirt and shirt were dirt with blood and dust...Spike's dust, she was sobbing, her left hand closed in a fist, he realized she was probably clutching Spike's dust in it.

He met Willow's eyes. In the back of his mind he knew he should have gone to her, but he found out he couldn't  let Buffy go, he couldn't move a muscle  to get closer to Willow. He just closed his eyes and held Buffy tighter to him, while tears spilled on his cheeks landing on Buffy's forehead.

Willow slowly crawled toward him, her face a mask of pain and grief, her left hand was still closed in a fist, she stopped next to him and whispered, "We failed, Giles. We couldn't save them..."

Giles closed his eyes, when a wave of excruciating pain  hit him in the shoulders. A greeted that white pain, which led him to unconsciousness...fearing that once he opened his eyes, again...events would repeat themselves, fearing he was going to relive that day.

-8-

Spike had asked Buffy to stop to her dorm. He had claimed he needed something from there. She had the surprise of her life, when after they entered her room, Spike sat at Willow's desk, turned on her laptop, and extracted a blue floppy from his duster's inside pocket.

"What are you doing?" she asked, taking other weapons and a pair of jeans from her closet.

"I'm looking for answers"  he replied not looking at her.

"On Willow's laptop? I had no idea you knew how to use a computer..." she said.

Spike turned toward her and said, "There are many things you don't know about me, Slayer...and it's fine by me...now, would you leave me the hell alone, for a while?"

"Sure...I'll go changing." She said.

"You might want to eat something..." he absently said while she went changing.

< Ok, officially wigged out, now...did he just remind me to *eat* ?>

She thought while changing. She could hear him type on the keyboard and swear under his breath. Where did that floppy come from? Why was Spike so willing to help?

Another question kept echoing in her mind, though. Who was Spike, really?

She returned in her room when Spike was turning off Willow's laptop, he turned toward her, and Buffy couldn't help noticing the distressed look on his face.

Spike...

...William The Bloody...

...was scared . Scared by the information he had found on the floppy.

"Did you find something?" she asked getting close to him.

"Oh, yes...yes I did..." he replied looking at her, his eyes bore into hers, while he got close to her and  Buffy couldn't help taking a step back. She swallowed and asked, "What did you find?"

"I know who and what took Red and the Watcher...I know where they might be...I know what's happening to them..."

"Do you know how to stop this, uh? Do you even know how to bring Will and Giles, back, while you're at it?" she dryly asked.

"Oh, yes...I already did, once."

"Once?" she asked.

"Yes...but first let me ask you a question, are you ready to kill human beings?" he asked.

"What?" she asked surprised.

"You might be forced to, there will be human beings...are you ready? I can't do that...as you bloody well know"

Buffy looked at him, "Human beings?"

"Yes, technically speaking..." he said. He looked at her, catching the hesitancy in her eyes and said, "Doesn't it matter now, let's go...I think it's time I told you a story..."

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Under Sunnyhell...that's where they hiding..." he said heading toward the door.

"And it's supposed to take us three days to find them?" she said following him.

Spike stopped. He turned to look at her and said, "You have no idea who and what are we dealing with..." he paused, then added, "Once we enter Sunnyhell's tunnels, time and space as we know it, won't exist anymore. magic  and illusions will reign...."

Buffy looked at him, "I guess I'll have to trust you on this one... but first..." she surprised him, punching him on the nose.

Spike covered his nose and said, "What the hell was that for?"

"Nothing...it's just that I feel this is the last time I can rightly punch you..."

~~*~~*~~*~~

They were outside the tunnel's entrance. They hadn't talked since they had left  Buffy's room.

They both had small backpacks and bags with them. it was still night, a clear night. Buffy looked around, trying to impress it in her memory, feeling that was the last time she ever was outside. Feeling that was the last time she ever looked at the stars.

As if reading her mind, Spike said, "Don't waste your time looking at the stars...you'll see them again" he paused then asked, "Are you ready?"

Buffy turned and looked at him, she managed to smiled before saying, "Of course...wouldn't miss it for the world."

Spike shook his head at her words. He hoped Buffy was going to remain strong. he hadn't told her everything about  what they were going to see and experience.

If what had been in the floppy was true, some of the more powerful demons and warlocks had conjured to end the world.

Two months before, one of the Eletti had mysteriously disappeared. She had been assigned to keep tracks on a Master Vampire in France. Word was her cover had blown up big time. Since then, there had been an unusual activity.

He was mad as hell. Why hadn't he been informed of all this? He had noticed something strange, but had connected it, on living on one of the Hellmouths.

He'd had suspicions about what was happening to Giles and Willow. A brief talk with Ethan had confirmed them.

He knew that they were torturing them. they were fucking with their heads...and he knew, they didn't have much time...if they wanted to save them, not just their bodies, but their minds as well.

They entered the tunnels. They both jumped when the entrance disappeared, leaving them in the dark. He heard her open her backpack, he shook his head and stopped her saying, "Don't..."

"I can't see anything..." she replied.

"Oh, yes you can...you're the Slayer's for God's sake! Hone your senses...adjust to the darkness, you will be surprised" his voice was low and soothing.

Buffy took a deep breath, while Spike kept talking, "Don't you remember what they told you when you were called? One girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and the *skill* to hunt the vampires... "

"Gee...does everyone know this speech?" she asked. She was smiling, though...Spike had been right. She could see in the darkness. She was surprised by how different the tunnels looked. She could almost see the magic, she could feel the evil, more clearly than she'd ever been able to.

Spike ignored her words, but said, "A Slayer is not just a killing machine, ducks...what do you see? What do you feel?"

"Magic, it surrounds us...it's molding this place..." she breathed.

"Very Good...now stick with me, don't rush at anything, they want us apart...just focus on your senses" he continued.

They walked in silence for a while. The corridor seemed endless, Buffy was surprised by how comfortable she felt with Spike. She looked at him, he looked very calm, there weren't traces of his usual hyper self. He looked like a predator, yet he hadn't morphed in his game face, he was close to her, but not in a menacing way.

"Are you ever going to tell me the truth?" she asked in a low voice, "'Cause I gotta tell you, the thirst for violence is not very convincing any more..."

Spike chuckled at her words, but didn't say anything. Buffy realized he was struggling with himself to tell her the truth, she took a deep breath and said, "You can tell me, Spike...whatever happen I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Spike turned toward her and asked, "Why do you want to know? Isn't it enough I'm helping you and your chums?"

Buffy shook her head, "No, it isn't, Spike. I was used to a cocky, easily bored, hyper vampire, who loved violence, who loved messing with our heads...now I'm dealing with a vampire that speaks ancient languages, that know how to use a computer...and that is way too calm... so, what's the what?"

"I'm a vampire, ducks..." he said.

"I kinda noticed that, thank you." she dryly replied.

Spike snorted at her words and said, "But it's why I'm a vampire that matters."

"Uh?" she asked. The silence in that corridor, was almost deafening.

"Have you ever asked Angel about my turning?" he asked lighting a cigarette.

"He didn't want to tell me, the only thing he ever told about you is that, quote 'Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead' end quote"

Spike cocked and eyebrow at her, before saying, "He told you I was dangerous...but he didn't tell you how we met...didn't he?"

"No, although he told me about Drusilla...." She replied.

"Sick bastard..." he murmured, he shook his head then said, "Come on, Slayer...you've been an Angelus' victim...you know how sick he is...and how he enjoys it"

"You'll get no arguments from me here..." she whispered. She then looked at him and said, "but you're still not spilling...c'mon Spike!"

"Have you ever wondered what happens in the rest of the world, while you're here slaying?" he asked.

"Everyday..." she whispered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"And have you ever wondered why you don't travel from place to place, stopping the various threats against the world?"

"Sometimes..." she admitted, she stopped walking and she crossed her arms over her chest saying, "but this doesn't explain anything, Spike..."

"On the contrary. What do you think the council does besides  giving a watcher to the slayer?"

"I have no idea, they haven't done anything for me...since they sent Giles to me. All they did was giving that damn test to me, and then firing Giles because he cared too much about me..."

"Quentin Travers is an ass...and the Cruciamentum is just crap" he murmured

"Granted but...hey! How do you know about him and the test?" she asked surprised.

"You'd be surprised by how many things I know about the Council. Did you know, for example, that there's an intelligence within the Council?" he said, ignoring her question.

"Intelligence as in...spies and all the lot?" she asked.

"Exactly."

"And what ...whom do they spy on? Is Travers one of them? And how do you know about it?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I'm one of them..." he mumbled. How could he explain the fact that he had willingly chosen to die...and become a monster? How could he explain what meant to him being one of the Eletti?

"You're telling me you're a spy?" she asked incredulity in her voice.

"Yes...although we call ourselves Eletti."

"But you're a vampire and ...oh!" she said realization dawning.  "You spy on them? S...since when?"

"Since I was human...." He softly said. "I was a watcher...when they approached me."

"They?" she asked.

Spike nodded, "They told me who they were...what they did...they only choose the best among the watchers...did you know your watcher had been offered to?"

"Did he refuse?" Buffy asked.

Spike shook his head, "No, he was called as your watcher...after Merrick died. It had been Merrick to suggest his name as your watcher...Rupert chose his slayer...to stand beside her and guide her..." he turned to watch her then softly said, "He chose to stand beside you even before knowing you..."

Buffy swallowed, fighting back tears, missing Giles more than ever. She cleared her throat and said, "B...back at you...what happened?"

"I accepted. I was young, idealist and very lonely...and I wanted to aid the Slayer..."

"Well, it doesn't look like you did a good job, then. You killed two..."

"I had to. Both times." He snapped.

"You had to?"

"Angelus had kidnapped her. He had decided to turn her..." Spike noticed Buffy blinking at his words, "but first he decided to fuck with her mind. Mind torture, Angelus was the master of it. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't contact the Eletti, because the bastard was checking on me, he didn't trust me...yet, I managed to talk to her one night, while Angelus and the others were out hunting. I told her about me...my calling..."

"Did she believe you?"  she asked.

" I don't know, ducks. I think she was just probably scared to become a vampire..."

"I can relate..." she mumbled.

Spike shook his head, and started walking again, followed by Buffy, who asked,  "What happened, then?"

Spike slowed and shrugged, then bitterly chuckled before saying, "Emilie...that was her name...she had asked me to kill her, if I wouldn't have been able to save her, so when the wanker surprised us, together, she  punched me. We fought and I killed her"

"How?" she said in a nasal voice.

"Does it matter?" he said in a low voice.

"Yes...did you drain her? Stabbed her?"

"I broke her neck! Are you happy, now? Under Angelus' eyes...and do you want to know what he did after I killed her? First he tortured me for hours"

"He tortured you? Why?"

Spike laughed at her words, "Why? Because he was evil...and sick. He loved to torture just about anyone. Body, mind...it wasn't important to him, as long as he could hurt. I had killed his new toy,  he didn't trust me... it was torture's hour and no one was around except me."

"He suspected about your calling?"

"No...I wouldn't be here if he really had suspected that. He just didn't trust me...he didn't like me. "

"Were you afraid of what he could do to you?" she asked in a low voice.

"Oh, no... What could he do to me...kill me? I was already dead. He could just torture me, but I've been trained to bear torture...all the watchers are..." Spike noticed she flinched at his words, he shook his head and said, "Then he kissed me...telling me how proud he was of me, and how all his doubts about me, had been for naught..."

"Why...didn't you kill him?" she asked.

"I couldn't blow my cover. I hadn't been assigned to him to kill him, that was the Slayer's job...my job was  to stop his plans...do you think Achatala has been his first attempt to end the world? Angelus was the scourge of Europe...and believe me, the things written in the Watcher's diaries are nothing compared to what I saw him doing..."

"So...that's how you killed the first slayer...what happened, then?" she asked. she had troubles believing him, but she couldn't ignore the sincerity in his voice and the haunted look in his eyes.

"He disappeared...later we knew he had been cursed. The Eletti forgave me for what I had done...and I went for my merry way with Drusilla..."

"Did she know about you?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me? Of course she didn't. We traveled from place to place...I dragged her wherever the Eletti sent me. ...most of the times. For a while, I just enjoyed being a vampire. I just enjoyed being with Dru. She  trusted me...she had sired me, but I took care of her. "

"Then what happened?" she asked.

"Something very similar to what's happening, now...A slayer went rogue...humans and demons got together to end the world and one of the Eletti's cover had blown big time..."

"Let me guess...that's how you killed the second slayer..."  she asked.

"You think Faith was bad? Well...you didn't see the other...she was the one who put together demons and sorcerers to end the world...she was a crazy bitch..."

"The one who begged you to spare her?" she asked.

"Uh? Oh, no...that didn't ever happen...I was just buying time...do you think I had come that night to the School to kill you?" he asked.

"Well...let's see...you said you would have killed me...you said you would have sucked one of my friends dry...then beat me with their bones...yes, the idea actually crossed my mind..." she dryly said, she smiled and added, "gee...I wonder why!"

Spike chuckled at her words then said, "I had to stop St. Vigeous' night and kill the Anointed One...those were my orders...and well, I wanted to cure Dru..."

"You were convincing...." She commented.

"I had to sound convincing...there were minions everywhere..." he paused then looked around saying, "Just think about that...did you really believe for a second that your mum could have stopped me if I'd really wanted you dead? Mr-once-he-starts-something-doesn't-stop-until-everything-in-his-path-is-dead? I was waiting for one of your chums to show up..."

"You knew about them?" she asked surprised.

"Luv, I even knew their shoe's sizes when I came to Sunnydale...and besides the  night we met, at the Bronze, I spied on you for hours...and by the way, your speaking French was really awful..."

"I can't believe it..." she said shaking her head. "You scared the hell out of me...I was sore for days afterwards..."

Spike smirked, "Unfortunately, my demon enjoyed the hunt a little too much..."

"Your...demon?"

Spike ignored her question and went on saying, "I just had to prove Dru I had tried to kill you...I'd been successful in stopping St.Vigeous night...and with half of the minions dusted, courtesy of the Slayer and her Scooby Gang...I could easily kill The Annoying One... "

"So you had planned everything?" she asked.

Spike nodded, "To the least detail, ducks...as always." He replied cocking an eyebrow at her.

"You were telling me about the second slayer..."

"There's nothing to say...she was rogue, she was a bitch...the Eletti ordered me to kill her and I did. End of story."

He didn't want to tell her about what he had found, when he had gone fighting her and the others. He couldn't tell her....not in that tunnel.  He had been trained to bear everything. When he had lived with Angelus he had witnessed torture and mayhem...He had a nasty son of a bitch of a demon within himself. Yet that night, kept haunting his dreams.  He still had nightmares about that night...and he couldn't afford to plague the Slayer with them.

"Why do I feel you're not telling me anything?" she asked.

"Because you are not stupid...and for this very reason I ask you not to stick your nose in this..."

"Fine..." she replied.

"Fine" he echoed.

"So" he said after a while. They had been walking in silence for a while. Both lost in their thoughts. Buffy looked at him. The vampire looked around and said, "Let's stay together...is way too calm here..."

"I agree..." she murmured. Spike was looking at her, an unreadable expression in his face. "What?" she asked.

"Just when did you realize you were in love with your watcher?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked.

< I beg your pardon? Gee...couldn't you be a little more obvious? >
 

"When. Did. You. Realize. You. Were. In. Love. With. Him?" he slowly repeated.

Buffy was about to answer him, when a bright purple light, lit the corridor. The first battle had begun.

-9-

Rupert Giles was afraid. He didn't want to open his eyes. He was hoping against hope, he wasn't about to relive the day of Buffy's death. He had lost count of how many times she had died in his arms.

He didn't want to face that day. He didn't want to raise from his bed...put on the robe carefully placed at the end of the bed. He didn't want to go into the bathroom, realizing the light was broken. He didn't want to take his usual cold shower. He didn't want to go into the living room, only to find Spike watching the tv....oblivious of the events of the previous day.

He didn't want to wait for the others to arrive. He didn't want his heart to catch in his throat, when Buffy entered his apartment, bringing with her sunlight and joy, knowing how she was going to die.

He didn't want to wait for Willow. He didn't want to see the look of grief in her eyes. He didn't want to explain over and over what was happening to the others. Each day he researched about it, but each day he didn't find anything.

Each day, despite his and Willow's prayers both Buffy and Spike decided to go out with them for the night.

No matter how hard they tried to stop what had happened...they always ended in the graveyard fighting the demons. No matter what they did....Spike and Buffy kept dying.

He heard the phone ring, he picked it up without even opening his eyes, "Hello?"

"Giles? it's me, Willow." The red-headed said over the phone.

"Willow?"

"I...nothing has changed..."

"I know...I was finding the courage to open my eyes...and relive the day." He said weakly smiling. The only comfort he had, was that Willow remembered. They shared their pain...they relied on each other.

"You know, Giles? One would think the pain would lessen...after a while...but..." she stopped talking and Giles could hear her trying to stop the sobs.

"It only worsens...I know."

"I just want it to stop, Giles...I can't go on this way..."

"I know, Willow...I know that..." he softly said.

"I...I guess I'll see you in a while...and if that damn woman let her bag slip once again I'm gonna strangle her" she grumbled hanging up the phone.

Giles couldn't help smiling at her words. He took several deep breaths before opening his eyes. nothing had changed. He sighed while looking at the phone.

~ Lo...love you ~

Buffy's last words kept echoing in his mind. No matter how many times that day kept repeating itself, those words never changed and she never had the time to say something more. They never had.

He blinked and picking up the phone murmured, "Not today..."

~~*~~*~~*~~

She wondered why she was going to Giles' house. Willow Rosenberg  sighed while entering Giles' house. Her sigh became a gasp when she didn't find anyone in the house. She was used to the sight which greeted her.

Anya and Xander  on the couch, pretending to research. Buffy in the kitchenette drinking coffee, Giles and Spike's voices coming from the bathroom.

None of that, was there, now. She closed the door behind her, the apartment was sunproofed, but the living room was empty and so was the kitchenette.

"Hey, anybody here?"

< Great, now what? >  she thought.

"There is just me, Red." Spike's voice came from the bathroom.

Willow frowned. The vampire exited the bathroom. He took some steps forward and said, "The watcher called the twerp and Anya...telling them to take it easy...then went out....he told me, I could stay here...and you could as well"

"Uh?" she asked, surprised. She was trying very hard not to look at Spike. She didn't have the strength to look at him, knowing what was going to happen.

She couldn't look at him without recalling his kiss. It had happened just once. But it had been enough.

She couldn't look at him without seeing with her mind's eyes, how his face looked peaceful just before his body turned into ashes.

How many times they'd been repeating the same day? She had lost count. Each night darkness greeted her, just after Spike died...and each morning when she opened her eyes, the previous day repeated itself.

"Red are you all right?"  Spike asked. Willow nodded, she raised her head and met his eyes. she managed to smile at him, then headed toward the kitchenette. She didn't realize Spike had followed her, until she heard his voice.

"Not that I care...but why the watcher and you are so worried?" he asked.

< Sure...you don't care...that's why you keep dying for me...you bleached poop head! >

"Uh...nothing...did Giles tell where he was going?" she asked, changing the subject.

"An educated guess? He went to the Slayer....maybe he worked out the courage to shag her..."

Willow turned toward him, an angry look in her eyes, "Why don't you mind you own business...and what are you doing here, anyway?"

Spike cocked an eyebrow at her but didn't speak. Willow shook her head and turned, putting the kettle on. She was furious and tired...so very tired of what was happening.

"Red?" Spike asked.

Willow turned toward him and threw a mug at the wall, "Don't call me, Red! I'm sick and tired of your nicknames...I have a name, so for goddess' sake use it! You always do before..." she stopped talking, tears filling her eyes. She heard Spike getting close to her.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Nothing..." she choked out. If Giles wasn't there, explaining to all of them, for the umpteenth time what was happening...why should she?

She brewed the tea, while Spike kept looking at her. She wondered why he hadn't left the kitchenette, why he was still with her.

"You know?" he suddenly said, "I could be very gross and ask you how big is the bug up in..."

"You could..." she said turning toward him, a shadow of a smile crossing her lips, "But I know you will be all gentleman-y and won't say that....will you?"

She opened the fridge and took a bag of blood, she poured the blood in a mug then put it in the microwave. She heard Spike's chuckles and couldn't help chuckling as well. Her chuckles, though, slowly faded in sobs,  her shoulders slumped and she hid her face in her hands. Her knees gave out and she rested her shoulders against the sink  while they trembled with the effort to try holding back her sobs.

She didn't heard Spike kneeling next to her and didn't see the concern on his face. She just felt his hand, circle her shoulders.

He didn't talk to her, he didn't murmur soothing words. He just stood there, kneeling beside her, holding her.

"I don't want you to die..." she eventually managed to say in a nasal voice, she raised her head and looked at him saying, "And yes, I know you're already dead! I don't care..." she raised her hands and grazed his cheekbones, "I don't care..." she weakly repeated.

"Re...Willow... I'm moved by your concern..." Willow glared at him. Spike sat next to her on the floor  and snorted before saying, "Ok I'm not...and I can promise you I don't plan to become a big pile of dust anytime soon..."

Willow weakly smiled at his words, she stretched her hand an grazed the scar on his eyebrow, "Whom were you fighting when you got this scar?"

"How did you...?" he started. Willow stopped him, though, by kissing him.  Their first kiss, a kiss Spike didn't even know had happened, had been desperate, there had been passion in it, but there had been too much sorrow. That kiss, although started out of grief and sorrow, soon grew with intensity. The  passion, the urgency in it was different.

She felt Spike's hands on her hair, and his cool tongue playing with hers. Her hands went on his shirt while his on her blouse. She didn't even notice when he ripped open her blouse, she just felt a shiver run up her spine, when his fingers idly played with her nipples through the thin fabric of her bra.

How much had she longed for him. How much had she desired to feel his mouth on hers, his hands touching  her skin. Without breaking the kiss she helped him out of his shirt, and she couldn't help her sharp intake of breath when they were skin to skin.

She felt Spike's hands on her waist and realized he was gently but firmly pulling her to him,  she heard his surprised gasp, when she shifted sitting on his lap. She could feel his arousal, through the denim of his jeans. She was vaguely aware that her skirt was now up to her waist, but she didn't care.

She couldn't help moaning when Spike broke the kiss and took her face in his hands. "Look at me" he almost growled.

Willow opened her eyes and wasn't surprised to see him in his game face.

"What do you want, Willow?" he asked.

"You" she breathed, surprised by how breathless she was.

Spike looked at her. He looked surprised by her words. Willow felt his fingers playing with her hair, "Like that? On the kitchen's floor? In the Watcher's flat?"

"Does it look like I care?" she asked, running her hands on his chest, marveling at how soft his skin was, not caring about its coolness.

Spike looked at her, his blue eyes searched into hers before saying, "No...and I don't understand why..."

"Which is fine by me..." she said before kissing him, again. She run her hands through his hair, pulling him at her, deepening the kiss. She eventually lightly parted from him and whispered against his mouth, "I don't care for gentle lovemaking...I just want to feel you..."

She pulled away from him and looked at him in the eyes before saying in a small voice, "Please..."

Spike's response was a deep, carnal kiss.

 ~~*~~*~~*~~

"So," Buffy said looking at Giles, "You're not gonna tell me, where are we going?"

Giles looked at his Slayer. She was smiling at him, her hair loose on her shoulders, a gentle breeze playing with it.

He had called her, after he had hung up with Willow, deciding to spend time with her. He knew that in the end the result would be the same, but he couldn't bear the silence any more. He couldn't bear to know she would have died without knowing how much he loved her. No matter how hard he tried, she always died before he could tell her.

"Trust me, Buffy..." he whispered.

"You know I trust you with my life..." she replied.

Giles turned toward her, surprised. She was smiling, yet she had closed her eyes and tilted her head up, exposing her face to the sun

< My God...she is so beautiful...so alive...>

"A me too would be nice, you know?" she absently said, without even opening her eyes.

Giles weakly smiled at her words, "Well...I thought it was a given..." he said in a low voice. his voice was but a whisper when he added, "I trust you with everything I am, Buffy..."

Buffy smiled at his words, she opened her eyes and lazily stretched on her seat, before turning to look at him, she didn't talk she just looked at him, and Giles was surprised realizing he couldn't bear to look at her.

It hurt, too much. He just wished it could stop. He just wished he could find a way to keep her safe.

Buffy seemed to sense his feelings because she softly asked, "Giles...what's going on? "

He felt her small hand on his, he turned and looked at her, he managed to smile at her, before saying, "Nothing...it doesn't matter, Buffy."

He stopped the car, and said, "Here we are..."

Buffy looked around and said, "Where are we?"

"You'll see..." he said. He took a backpack from the backseat then got out from the car. He couldn't help chuckling when she rolled her eyes at his cavalry when he opened the car's door for her.

They began walking  through a wood, he openly smiled when she asked since when there had been a wood in Sunnydale

"Oz told me about it" he explained, taking her hand in his. She looked at him surprised but didn't pull her hand away, on the contrary she lightly squeezed it.

They walked for a while, chatting about nothing in particular, just enjoying each other's presence. Giles was enjoying the sun and marveled at how the sunlight, filtered through the leaves. Mostly he was just enjoying being so close to Buffy, he was enjoying just being with the woman he loved.

 Buffy was smiling and looked really happy. She suddenly stopped when they got out from a glade. Buffy turned surprised toward him and whispered,  "Giles..."

He softly smiled at her, but didn't talk, he just followed her while she took some steps forward. There was a little artificial lake, surrounded by the greenest grass they had ever seen. Its water was crystalline. The sun was reflecting on the water, creating a golden reverberation  which was almost dazzling.

"Oh..." she whispered. Giles got close to her, he lightly lowered his head and whispered against her ear, "Do you like it?"

Buffy turned toward him and nodded, she cleared her throat before saying, "A lake? I didn't even know there was a lake here..."

"Neither did I..." he admitted, "Until I discovered it, last year..."

"Back in my bitchy days?" she seriously asked.

Giles just smiled at her. He didn't talk, he just placed his hands on her shoulders, lightly squeezing them and said, "It's so peaceful here... "

Buffy turned and looked at him, she frowned before asking, "What's the what, Giles? Not that being here with you isn't cool...but..."

He silenced her placing a finger on her lips and said, "I just thought we both deserved a little time for...how do you call it? Watcher-Slayer bonding?"

She nodded. Giles didn't realize at first that his finger was still on Buffy's lips. He was mesmerized by her eyes and the look in it.

Here it was the same woman, who kept dying each night in his arms, trying to tell him she loved him, and in that moment, for the first time, he could clearly see that love reflected in her eyes.

He wanted to kiss her. Never had he longed for something as in that moment. He raised his hand to caress her hair and wasn't surprised when she leaned into his touch. She closed her eyes and smiled. He felt her hands going on his arms, first, then his chest. She placed her hand above his heart and whispered, "Your heart, Giles...I can feel your heart beating..."

She rested her head against his chest, and he heard her sighing against the fabric of his sweater. He held her close and heard her say, "I could stay like that forever..."

Giles closed his eyes and rested his chin atop her head. A few tears rolled down his cheeks, but he didn't even realize that, he held her tighter and couldn't help whispering against her hair, "I love you Buffy..."

Buffy didn't raise her head, though, she just nuzzled against the soft fabric of his sweater and murmured, "I love you too, Giles... so very much...."

Although he didn't see her face, and couldn't look into her eyes when she told him, he knew they were true, he could feel it, in his soul.

-10-

"Why don't you die, already?" Buffy screamed piercing the demon's heart _or at least what she hoped was the heart _.

She couldn't say how long they had been fighting. Spike was still next to her, he hadn't gone far. They had fought against countless vampires and demons, the tunnels were scarcely lighted by that sickening purple light.

What was worst, was that she could feel Giles. She felt he was near and he was weak. She was sure, Spike could feel a connection with Willow as well. It was those bastards' way to distract them.

Once, she had almost crumpled upon those feelings. The  wave of sorrow, regret and grief  that had hit her had been so strong that her eyes had filled with tears and took her breath away.

Spike, who had been busy dispatching two vampires, without even looking at her had said, "Fight, Slayer! Focus your senses on the battle...block anything else out..."

She hadn't looked at him, but through his voice, she had realized he had been doing the same thing. He had blocked out anything else and had focused on the battle.

Her respect for the vampire was growing by the minute. She heard him chuckle at her last words aimed at the demon and wasn't surprised when he deadpanned, "Try to say please...it could bloody work, for all we know..."

Buffy couldn't help shaking her head at his words. She extracted the sword from the demon and with one quick movement cut its head off, panting, "Would you die now, * please *?"

The demon's body fell on the ground and Buffy sighed. She turned when she heard the demon's body  Spike had been fighting fall on the ground with a loud thud.

He grinned at her while the purple light was fading and said, "Not so bad, ducks...although your puns are still lame..."

"Look, who's talking...." She said but couldn't help grinning as well.

"I'd say, we should resume walking..." he said. Buffy could see he was hurt, and she knew she had been wounded too, she shook her head and said, "We need to rest..."

"Ducks..." he started.

"Do you want to save them and prevent the end of the world? Let's sit down for a while...we aren't going to be of any help if we're dead on our feet, no pun intended..."

He chuckled at her words but said, "It figures..." He  leant against a wall and continued, "When I said that, I was just a pain in the ass...when you say that..."

"Oh, shut up Spike!" she said leaning against the same wall, next to him.

They slowly sat on the pavement, their heads and backs against the wall, Buffy closed her eyes, she heard Spike rummaging through one of the backpacks' contents, she opened her eyes and was surprised when Spike handed her a sandwich and a bottle, "Eat..." he mumbled.

"Yes, mom..." she said.

Spike snorted at her words and took a bottle for himself. She took a bite from the sandwich and watched him drinking his blood, she frowned and asked, "Do you like blood?"

Spike looked at her raising an eyebrow and said, "Of course I like it! Luv, I may be one of the Eletti but I'm still a vampire"

She nodded and shrugging said, "Well...you know...you've surprised the heck out of me, so many times since yesterday that..."

Spike shook his head at her words, and kept drinking from his bottle. He didn't know whether he had done the right thing when he had told her about  his identity. Yet he felt more relaxed than he ever remembered being since he had been activated. For the first time he didn't have to pretend, he didn't have to feign. He knew he couldn't let slip the control he had over himself and his feelings, lives, so many lives, included Willow and Giles' depended on it.

~ What do you want, Willow?

You ~

He shook his head, when he clearly heard Willow and his voice.

< Oh, my God...>  he thought closing his eyes.

~ Please ~ Willow's voice begged.

< What is she doing? >

He could feel Willow's arousal, could feel the pain, the sorrow in it. He could feel her love. He shook his head, he felt Buffy's hand on his arm

"Don't think about it..." she ordered. "Remember? Block it out...it's not real..."

"You don't understand..." he said in a low voice, "It's real...her feelings are real...she's trying to fight this..."

"They both are..." she whispered. He looked at her, he could see tears were dampening her cheeks, "There's so much pain..."

That was enough to shake Spike from his thoughts. They couldn't afford to be weak, they couldn't afford to let their feelings to get in the way.

  "Enough!" he said. "No one said they were going to have fun...they're fighting it...that's all that matters..."

"Spike..." she said.

"I said, enough!" he growled, "They want us weak...both physically and mentally..."

She stopped him, taking his hand in hers for a second before saying, "Well, they're in for a surprise...." She paused  before asking, "Why did they take them, Spike?"

Spike turned toward her, and Buffy noticed she had totally gotten used to the darkness of the gallery. She had no problems in seeing him in the dark. Spike had been right about her senses, Buffy thought he'd  probably been a really good Watcher when he was alive. She hugged her knees to her chest and weakly asked, "Why?"

"Because we love them...." he said in a low voice. "and because it's unheard of one of The Eletti and a Slayer working together..."

"We don't usually work together" she pinpointed without looking at him. She turned toward him frowning, then asked, "Why didn't you tell us about who you really were? I mean...wouldn't it have been easier than the big bad routine?"

"No. I thought about it and I nearly did a few times, but the orders were very clear and besides  what if one of you were turned? We can't risk blowing our covers...there are too many lives at stake and I'm not just talking about ours...we're already dead..."

"So you didn't talk... you kept up your cover..." she whispered.

Spike shrugged and said, "Can't say it hasn't been fun..." he said, "especially the Ascension..."

"You were there?" Buffy asked surprised.

"I helped you...I lurked, patrolled, assisted you and your chums when I could..."

"You pulled and Angel?" she teased.

"Very amusing, slayer...." he all but growled.

"Well, it's true..." she said shrugging.

Spike shook his head then mimicking her voice he said, "Does the world 'Sacred Duty' rings any bell to you?"

"Hey! How was I supposed to know that you are a spy?" she frowned then asked, "although there's something I still don't get..."

"That would be?" he asked, although he already suspected what Buffy was going to ask.

"How...can they be so sure that..." she started

"We still follow their orders after we've been turned?" he finished for her.

"Uhm...yes..." she said in a low voice.

Spike looked at her. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't tell her he had a soul, so he shrugged and said,  "Magic.."

"Which kind of magic?" she asked. she had caught his hesitancy.

"Powerful magic, Slayer..." he said, "very powerful magic..."

Buffy just nodded at him. She looked around, she could still feel Giles, she could feel how contented he felt with her in his arms, and how afraid he was for her. She wiped away some tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath.

She  knew Giles loved her, she could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at her, she clearly heard it when he spoke to her. She loved him, as well. What was happening was just like the realization of her worst nightmare. Giles had been taken not because he was her watcher, but because she loved him...because, they loved each other.

They both knew how dangerous their lives where, they both were aware of the depth bond they shared,  yet, they didn't talk about it. Talking made everything real, and they had both already lost too much.

"I can feel him"  she whispered, she swallowed before asking, "do you know what they're doing to them?"

"Do you really want to know?" Spike asked back in a low voice.

"Yes...I need to know...what's happening to them? Why can we feel them?"

"It's this place, Slayer...I told you things were different here..."

"But they...Giles seems happy....and...OH GOD!" she suddenly arched her head, while tears filled  her eyes when a wave of sorrow, stronger than the previous hit her, taking her breath away, making her heart strongly pump in her chest.

She opened her mouth gasping for air, she started when she felt Spike hand on her shoulder, she turned toward him, noticing how pale he looked, his eyes sparkled with unshed tears, she realized he was probably feeling Willow's sorrow.

She swallowed and asked in a nasal voice, "What are they doing to them? It's like his heart is breaking with sorrow..."

Spike swallowed too before saying in a low voice, "I don't know...I just know they're torturing them...I don't know what's happening, exactly..."

"But Giles was happy...I could feel it"

"And so was Willow..." he added, his voice was but a whisper and Buffy was surprised, it was the first time she'd ever heard Spike saying Willow's name, she was surprised by the love she heard in his voice. Was it possible, that Spike had really fallen for her friend?

She sighed, the wave of sorrow was still high within herself, she could feel so clearly Giles' feelings, and a brief look at Spike assured her he was feeling the same, she swallowed before saying, "Spike? You asked me whether I was ready to kill human beings before we came here..."

"I did...." He said in a low voice and Buffy saw how he was fighting to keep control of his feelings, she could hear tears in his voice.

"I am...I'll do whatever I must to free them" she said, resolve in her voice.

Both Spike and Buffy closed their eyes when they heard their loved ones, agonizing cries, without even realizing what she was doing she stretched a hand and blindly looked for Spike's, they intertwined fingers, holding on each other's hand, in the darkness of that gallery.

Both of them hating their calling, their sacred duty more than anything in that moment.

 
   -11-

They were close.

The Slayer and the Eletti, closer than they thought.

The demon had quickly realized that demons and physical violence weren't going to stop them. They both were strong and very determined. They had dispatched the first set of demons and vampires very easily.

The demon looked toward the two humans, trapped in the purple mist. They had been fighting, despite the sorrow they had been facing, and the echoes of their losses had reverberated throughout the gallery, reaching the Slayer and the Eletti.

The two of them weren't giving up, though.

The demon smiled before blowing again at the purple mist. The two humans trapped inside of it screamed.

The demon could feel their pain...and the heart-ache it was provoking on the Slayer and the Eletti.

Its smile grew wider. Things were going to get very interesting.

~~*~~*~~*~~

She wished Spike remembered.

Willow closed her eyes, trying to focus on the book she was researching on.

Another day of endless sorrow was ahead of them. Just like the other times she had gone at Giles' house finding the others. Just like the other times Giles and she had gone through the heartbreaking process of explaining what was happening.

She hadn't even looked at Giles so far. She was afraid to. She was afraid to see the pain in his eyes. A pain, she was sure, that was mirrored in hers. Last night had been the worst.

The Spike who had turned into ashes the night before to save her, had been her lover.

He had launched at the demon that was holding her, with a force, a rage that she had never seen before. A tiny glimmer of hope had surfaced, she had hoped that perhaps, that time things would have been different.

Different...

She recalled how he had held her after they had made love in Giles' kitchen. She now realized, she had wanted him the day before, not for love...not for passion, but because she had needed to feel alive...she had wanted the cold, the emptiness to go away.

 < Stupid, stupid, stupid!>

She kept repeating to herself. She hadn't even thought about the outcome. She now knew how Spike tasted like, how soft his skin was, how well she fitted in his arms.

She now knew that it didn't matter he didn't have a heart-beat, and that although his skin was cold, it stirred a fire within herself like she had never felt before.

She now loved him more than before. When the night before his body had turned into ash, for an instant she had been sure she was going to die too. The sorrow had been so strong, so intense that it had almost broken her.

Almost was the operative word.

She blinked away some tears and cleared her throat. Was she really ready to watch him die again?

< Have I ever been?>

She thought shaking her head. She slightly raised her head, meeting Giles' look. The man's eyes looked haunted. She shrugged trying to smile at him, wondering whether they were ever going to be able to make that nightmare stop.

<Nightmare? These are our worst nightmares...>

"Giles?" she said getting up from the couch with a start, her book fell on the floor but she didn't even realize that.

"Yes, Willow?" he tiredly asked.

"We've been treating this matter as a temporal anomaly...we've been researching over these kind of phenomena...but...but what if we've been searching in the wrong direction?"

"We've been searching for spells about time delays and..."

"What do we remember of the first time Buffy and Spike died?" she asked, ignoring for a moment the pain those words brought to her heart.

"A demon was holding me, it was almost snapping me in two...and then a purple mist enveloped us... when it dissipated both Spike and Buffy had been hurt..."

"How and when exactly? The last thing I remember is Spike launching at the demon which was holding me..."

"You are kidding, Red, right? Why should I do, that?" Spike chimed in

"Shut up, Spike!" both Giles and Willow said ignoring him. Willow got close to Giles and said, "How did exactly happen? And why Spike and Buffy?"

"Uh, because I'm the  Slayer?" Buffy said closing her book and crossing her arms over her chest.

"That would explain you...and Giles...the chosen ones, but not Spike..."

"What exactly are you implying, Willow?" Giles asked, taking off his glasses and weakly rubbing his eyes.

"So far, we've considered a given, that Spike and Buffy were the targets of this thing...and that we had to stop their deaths, right?"

Giles nodded at her, Willow took a deep breath then said, "Well, what if ....*we* are the targets? Let's think about it, Giles...whatever we do to stop their deaths during the day...we always end in the graveyard...and we always faint or lose consciousness after they die...this spell, doesn't want us to save them...hell, how many times have we tried to?"

"I'm not sure I'm following you here, Will." Xander said, talking for the first time, "Usually on Star Trek time repeats itself because the good guys have to stop the major badness from happening..."

"But what if it is the major badness which is forcing us to repeat the same day over and over?" Willow said.

"You are saying that.... what exactly are you saying?" Buffy asked.

"She is saying that someone is using their feelings, their fears against them...but why?" Anya said.

"To get us?" Buffy chimed in.

"But....why Spike and I?" Willow said, "I mean you are the Slayer and Giles is your Watcher...but I'm just a wicca...and Spike is just a vampire!"

"Actually" Giles started. Willow turned to look at him and caught a look between Spike and the ex Watcher. Giles nodded slightly, then turning to look at her said, "That's what we have to find out...if we understand the whys and hows, we will be able to finally stop this"

"Sounds like a plan" Xander said shrugging

"I second that" Buffy added

"I third that" Anya chimed in, shifting for the fist time since Willow had arrived from Xander's lap

"Passion should be on...I'll go and watch the telly" Spike added in a low voice.

For the first since longer than Willow  could remember a genuine smile crossed her lips.

Freedom and Peace looked closer.

-12-

Images, thoughts, recollections...all of them kept filling Spike's mind, while they continued their journey. He felt they were getting closer to the center. His instinct, his mind, screamed at him, urging him to run away from that tunnel before it was too late.

< It * is* late, you wanker...you're in it...you'll stop heta7tanatos or die trying >

If what was happening was anywhere near the level of horror that he had faced when had stopped the first heta7tanatos, he knew things were going to get ugly really fast.

He kept seeing those images...he could still smell the stench of all the demons he had killed...the stench of blood and bile...

And the pain...the sorrow...that as thick as a blanket had enveloped him.

He wondered whether Buffy was going to be strong enough. They both were chosen ones, but they were alone.

Too alone.

They hadn't met any demons or vampires since the fist attack. Spike didn't even want to know the reason for that quiet. He had a very bad feeling about it, a gut feeling which kept him on the edge.

Something big was going to happen. He could feel the hope Willow was feeling, could almost see her eyes brighten with  that gleam he had learned to love since he had met her.

He could feel her regret. He could feel her pain and how she was pushing it aside in order to survive. He wondered what Buffy was feeling, he needed to know whether she was going to be strong enough.

"You never told me, when you realized you were in love with the Watcher..." he suddenly said while they were walking.

Buffy stopped and looked at him frowning, "Well...you didn't tell me when you realized you were in love with Willow...by the way what's the what with Willow and you?"

"Answer my question, Slayer..." he muttered, while lighting a cigarette.

"I don't know Spike...it was like seeing things for the first time...it was a moment of absolute clarity. For the first time everything in my life made sense....my calling, who I was...I felt in that moment that I would have accepted whatever life threw at me as long as he was by my side...." She paused, blinking back tears, she could still feel Giles...his grief and hope... the love he felt for her and his despair. She wondered what Spike hadn't told her, yet about what was going to happen.

She had a strange, overwhelming gut feeling. That apparent calm was frightening. She looked at Spike realizing he was feeling the same things, she shrugged and asked, "Are they gonna do something very soon, aren't they?" 

"We are close...the closer we get, the worst it will get...it won't be ...."

His words were interrupted by music. They both stopped  walking  and looked at each other, the gallery was slowly being light by a golden, candle-like light

"What's going on? What is it a violin?" Buffy asked.

Spike, though, wasn't listening. If he had had a heart it would have stopped beating, hearing that music.

He shook his head, while the music grew with intensity and took some steps forward, leaving Buffy behind him. He didn't realize he was running until the sight in front of him stopped him.

It was his room. The room in his household. He hadn't seen it for more than two centuries, yet he recalled it perfectly, just like he perfectly remembered the woman who was playing the violin in his bedroom.

"Mother?"  he said in a nasal voice. He knew that the woman who had just turned and looked at him wasn't really his mother, but it all seemed so real, the colors, smells, details...all seemed so real.

The woman stopped playing and looked at him. She smiled at him then softly said, "Oh, William, darling...I did not expect you to come home so soon from the Compound...you do look quite tired...and what did they do to your hair?"

"I..." Spike was at a loss for words. Whatever had created that illusion had done an incredibly good job. The creature that looked like his mother smiled at him, and started playing the violin again.

The last time he had seen his mother, it had been in that very room, she had been playing the violin. He had looked at her for long minutes before saying good-bye to her. He hadn't told her he had accepted to be one of the Eletti.

A few days later she had been informed of his "death". For years, he had recalled that day, while the music she had been playing had mercilessly echoed in his mind.

"This can't be true..." he whispered, tempted to let his demon taking over ...but he suspected that was what the creator of that elaborate illusion wanted, so he didn't give in to the temptation. He took some steps forward and said louder, "You are not real..."

The woman stopped playing and looked at him. She looked exactly like his mother, there was even the same sadness in her grey-blue eyes.

Spike swallowed and repeated, "You are not real..."

"I am...because I am still real in your heart, William " the creature softly said.

"Sod Off!" he growled.

"Make me...being a hero is such a bitch, isn't it, traitor?" The creature that looked like his mother spat.

Spike took another step forward hissing, "Don't use her face..."

"Which one do you prefer, William?" the creature said, approaching him. the colors seemed to fade, losing intensity and the creature as well was slowly changing shape...

"Do you like this?"

Spike looked around, and couldn't help the Goosebumps which covered his face. He didn't even know vampires could have Goosebumps.

That was the torture chamber. Angelus' torture chamber...and the woman which was in front of him was Emilie, the first Slayer he had killed.

"Is that better for you?" the young woman asked in her French accent. On her body there were the marks of Angelus' tortures, marks so deep that even with Slayer's powers had taken long to heal. He recalled that some of them hadn't completely healed when he had killed her.

"Killing me almost killed you as well, isn't it traitor?" the young woman asked, picking her long, chestnut hair in a bun

"Should I be impressed by this show?" he asked, exuding a confidence he didn't feel. "These are just tricks, mate...she died...I killed her...so unless you want to bore me to death, find another way to screw with my head, because I Am Not Impressed, Drusilla on a bad day was better than you"

"Are you sure?" the creature asked in a sing song voice, slowly morphing into Drusilla face.  Her hair was damp, and so were her face and neck, with rain and blood. "You fell in love with me the moment you saw me for the first time, my Spike...I felt it...."

Spike all but started when he felt rain falling over him.

"Do you still love your black queen, Spike?" the creature asked. It approached him, slowly circling him .

"Are you finished? Is this supposed to scare me? Upset me?" he asked, happy of how calm and collected he looked.

The creature seemed to hear his fears because it slowly changed shape, it were Willow's bright green eyes who looked at him and her voice who said, "There is a way to stop the fear, the pain...you can use it, Spike..."

"I think, I'm just going to go, pillock...." Spike hissed.

"I wouldn't be too sure, you are alone, now..." the voice said.

"Nope, he isn't, dumbass! "

Spike turned toward the voice behind his shoulders.

It was Buffy.

Never Spike had been so happy to see her. He had put both of them on stake  when he had followed the music.

He could have kicked himself for how stupidly he had fallen for that trap, yet he grinned at Buffy before saying, "The tosser here is trying to kill me, boring me out of my skull"

"Is it succeeding?" Buffy asked getting close to him, they were side by side, now,  they were both facing the creature, identical cocky grins on their faces.

"Nah...I'm having fun, actually" he said winking at the creature. He was hoping against hope it couldn't read his real feelings: he was scared and angry at himself and mostly worried for Willow and Giles.

The creature didn't seem to realize that, though. The air around them seemed to fill with electricity, while the creature slowly faded, losing its human shape. A whirlwind suddenly formed in the gallery, surrounding them, bringing with it an almost unbearable stench of decay.

Spike looked at Buffy, she was pale, but the cocky grin hadn't left her face. He could hear how fast her heart was beating, and how quickly the blood seemed to flow in her veins, yet she seemed the very picture of coolness.

"It looks like we pissed it off, too bad..." she said, turning to look at him.

Spike smiled at her, wondering why he had ever doubted of her abilities. He should have known better. He shrugged and said, "Yeah, it looks like...how insensitive of us, uh?"

DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE WON?

A guttural voice asked from seemingly nowhere.

Both Buffy and Spike looked around before looking at each other. That voice evoked something powerful, something they couldn't help fearing, they  could read that fear into each other's eyes, but they both relied on each other, not to let it win.

THEY'LL SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR IMPUDENCE

"Hurt them and you'll suffer much, much more than them you son of a bitch!" Spike hissed.

AS YOU WISH, TRAITOR....BUT THEY'LL WISH TO DIE WHEN I'M FINISHED WITH THEM

The whirlwind stopped, leaving them in the darkness.

The silence in the gallery was deafening, as heavy as a stone, it was Buffy who broke it, asking, "What are we gonna do?"

"Keep walking...." He said in a low voice, then in an almost inaudible whisper he added, "Keep hoping"

~~*~~*~~*~~

 Slowly...oh so slowly his fingertips grazed the soft skin  of  her thighs, with a feather-like caress. She shivered, arching her head, meeting his mouth for a kiss.

His lips were soft and full. His mouth was ravishing hers.

The pleasure, hot, was slowly building between  her legs.

He seemed to sense her arousal, or perhaps he had just smelled it,  because he positioned to her entrance, tracing the outlines of her labia with a finger, while his other hand was in her hair, keeping her face close to his.

He entered her hot, wet channel. She shuddered, feeling her arousal growing, becoming almost too intense, almost painful. He didn't move.

He just looked at her.

He hadn't morphed in his game face, through she could feel his erection throbbing inside of her.

The look in his eyes was  gentle, gentler  than she ever remember being, his hand left her hair and grazed her face.

She arched her back, against him, silently  urging him to move.

"Please" she whispered.

"I can't be the answer to your dreams, Willow...there's no happily ever after for us..."

She shook her head while  tears filled her eyes, "I don't care...please...Spike..."

"What do you want?" he asked starting to move slowly into her

"You...I just...want you..." she panted, moving against him, gripping his shoulders, marveling once again at how soft his skin was, how perfect it felt to be in his arms.

"I..." he started.

She shushed him with a kiss, breaking it when a wave of pleasure hit her, taking her breath away.

Their movements grew with intensity.

She didn't remember how it had started this time. One moment they had been alone, talking, on Giles' terrace, and a moment later, they had been kissing, holding on each other, while the first stars lit the sapphire blue sky.

She knew that he was going to die. She knew that even for that day they hadn't found means to stop what was happening.

She hadn't been ready to let him go.

She wasn't ready.

She would never be.

Pleasure, was engulfing them. They locked eyes. She tried in those moments to express her feelings through her eyes. Saying things aloud made everything even more powerful.

She arched her head, scratching his shoulders when she climaxed, followed by him.

Their sex was always quick, almost painful in its intensity. It was ironic how, although she had been repeating the same day for what it seemed ages, she thought there wasn't time for slow lovemaking.

"I'll try to remember" he whispered against her breast, kissing the soft skin of her nipple.

"It doesn't matter..." she whispered back.

She caressed his hair and closed her eyes, while Spike pulled her closer to him. The night was so quiet, it was so hard to believe that in a few hours her world was going to crumble upon her....

Although Spike's heart wasn't beating,  although she intellectually knew he was dead, he seemed so alive...so full of love for life and its treasures.

What could she do to stop his death? She nuzzled her face against his neck and whispered against his cool skin, "I just wish there was more time"

Spike's only response was a kiss on the top of her head. The vampire pulled her closer to him and  whispered, "I'll try to make things different, this time..."

Willow shook her head and whispered, "Just hold me tight for a while....just..."

<make me feel alive...> she thought, but couldn't tell him. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

< Time...time is the key...>

-13-

"Xander, you have to eat something..." Anya weakly said, sitting next to Xander on Giles' couch.

The man shook his head and managed to smile at her before saying, "No, thank you...I'm not hungry...."

"Xander...you are pale, and hurt...you haven't slept since Willow and Giles have been taken...please, just a twinkie?"

Xander shook his head no, but didn't say anything. He took another book from the coffee table and opened it.

Three days,

Three days had passed since Willow and Giles had been taken.

Two days since Buffy and Spike had gone to look for them.

Forty Eight hours.

Never had he been so worried and scared in his life. He wished he could do something, anything  to help his friends. He had been researching since Buffy and Spike had gone away. Oddly it had been Ethan who had helped him, before going away, he had suggested some references he could use to start on his research.

The only thing he had discovered was that whatever had taken Willow and Giles, was going for the slow kill. They were being probably mentally tortured.

Ethan had mentioned a code, before going away.

Heta7tanatos.

He had said that was what Buffy and Spike were going to fight. Anya hadn't known what the code was about, she had just identified some of the demons portrayed in the books. Some of the demons Buffy and Spike were probably fighting wherever they were in that moment.

Xander had never been that scared in his life, he closed his eyes and let out a sigh, tilting his head on a side trying to ease the tension in his muscles.

His hand hurt, he hadn't taken pain killers to ease the pain, and was beginning to feel  the weight of the past two days.

He opened his eyes when he heard knocking at the door. He exchanged a glance with Anya then  she slowly went to the door, he lightly nodded at her before she grabbed the doorknob.

She opened the door and lightly blinked.

"Anya, who is it?" Xander asked getting up from the couch, he stood next to her and frowned, standing on the porch of Giles' apartment there was a young man. He was of medium height, with short black hair, dressed in black jeans and t-shirt, he was wearing boots and a black leather jacket, that contrasted with his pale complexion. It was his brown, almond-eyed eyes and the look in them though, that caught both Xander and Anya's attention, it was very deep, extremely intelligent and soulful.

The man, who didn't look much older than Xander himself, spoke in a deep, particular voice, saying, "I take you are Xander Harris and  Anya Emerson?"

Xander and Anya looked at each other for a second, then Xander turning toward the man said, "And you would be?"

"My name is Eric, and I am here to help."

"We don't need any help, thank you."

"I think you do. Do you know a vampire known as Spike"

"I don't know what are you talking about" Xander hissed.

The  man smiled at him, and lightly arched an eyebrow, before saying, "too bad because I'm a friend of Spike...he asked for my help...before going facing heta7tanatos."

Xander opened his mouth to speak, but the man interrupted him saying, "We don't have much time....Spike can't win this alone...and neither can the Slayer..."

"Who the hell are you?"

The man's smile faded, replaced by a serious look, "I'm...an Eletti"

"A....what?" Xander blankly asked.

"Wasn't the Eletti's existence a rumor?" Anya asked, puzzled.

Xander looked at Anya who shrugged at him, and returned his  attention to Eric, the man smiled and said,  "Why don't we talk about this, inside? Oh, you'll have to invite me in, I'm a vampire..."

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't stake you now" Xander asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Anya placed a hand on  his shoulder and said, "If what he's saying it's true...if he's really an Eletti we have nothing to fear..."

"And what if it's a lie?" Xander asked looking at her.

"I'm afraid you just have one way to find it out, but I'd suggest you quickly decided....the watcher and your young friend don't have much time...and neither do William and the Slayer..."

Perhaps it was that man use of Spike's first name, or perhaps it was the look in his eyes, but Xander took a step back and whispered, "Come in...but remember...I have a stake and I know how to use it..."

The vampire nodded and said while entering Giles' apartment, "William said you are a very brave young man...."

Xander closed the door and said, "Cut the crap about William, just tell me how to help my friends...."

"He said you are quite reckless, as well..." the vampire said looking around. He took some steps  and approached the coffee table, noticing the demonology books, Xander had been researching on. He turned toward Xander and said, "I'm afraid that recklessness isn't going to be of any help to  your friends....what did you find out in those books?"

"You are the one sent to help them, you tell me...what the hell Heta...whatever is?"

"Heta7tanatos...is a code, it means one of the Eletti has blown his cover and that humans and demons have gotten together to end the world..."

"Who the hell are you? How is Spike linked to all of this?" Xander asked.

"As I already told you, I'm one of the Eletti, we aid the Slayer in her job, William asked for our help, and I've been sent here. He always say you're people who can be trusted, that's why"

"Are you implying that Spike is one of the Eletti?" Anya asked, she was all but blinking.

"He's one of the best among us...he has already faced an heta7tanatos, I'm afraid, though...that this  time things are going to be more difficult for him...."

"Why is that?" Xander asked.

"Because to end the world this time they need their bloods...the Slayer and the Eletti's...and because he is emotionally involved..."

Xander chose to ignore his last statement, he narrowed his eyes and asked, "How can we stop this? How can we help them?"

"They are playing dirty...messing with their heads...they are opening channels...using very powerful magic...this doesn't mean we can't do the same here..."

"News Flash: our resident wicca and magician have been kidnapped "

Eric smile's grew wider, "News Flash: I know how to use magic...so, are you up to it?"

"Are we gonna end up dreaming of the first Eletti beating the crap out of us?" Xander asked, recalling how the spell which had helped Buffy defeating Adam had ended.

Eric laughed at his words and said, "Don't worry if someone is going to have the crap beat it's not us..."

Xander smiled at the vampire  and patted him on the shoulder saying, "You know? I will probably regret it later, but I quite like you...now just tell us what to do"

-14-

"Are you going to start brooding?" Buffy suddenly asked, stopped walking.

Spike stopped walking as well and looked at her, frowning, "What are you talking about?"

"You haven't said anything since the whirlwind stopped..."

"Sorry ducks, small talk is not in the brochure..." he hissed.

"Oh, c'mon Spike...spill....brooding is *so* not you"

"You don't know anything about me, Slayer" he said in a low voice.

"True...but I know that you would normally have a fit, if you caught yourself brooding... "

"Normal is the operative word here, Slayer...I expected to come here, kicking asses, having my ass kicked then saving Red and the Watcher...but these tossers could have given Angelus a run for his money..."

"Are you afraid of them?" she asked surprised.

Spike shook his head, "I'm afraid of me...and for you and your chums...I'm not strong enough...."

"Aw, c'mon Spike, you  made a no-no, so what? We all make mistakes....nothing serious happened...tell you what, next time I'll kick your ass if you act so ...."

"Spike-like?" he asked with a half-smirk

Buffy smiled at him and said, "Exactly...now, we should keep walking, I wouldn't want to find the ghost of Future Christmas  on the next corner...."

Spike nodded, they started walking side by side, they both felt something big coming, something very powerful, they both felt, though, oddly calm, whatever was going to happen, they suddenly felt they weren't going to face it alone.

~~*~~*~~*~~

< No...not again, please...not again>

Giles thought pulling Buffy's lifeless body in his arms,  kissing her still warm fore-head.

"I love you so much, Buffy...so much...." He whispered against her hair. He raised his head when he heard Willow's sobs. He closed his eyes, he didn't need to see what was going to happen, in a few seconds Spike was going to turn into dust, breaking Willow's heart.

 He pulled Buffy closer to him, he knew that soon darkness would engulf him, and those were the last moments he could hold the woman in his arms.

He could feel it coming, he already felt lightheaded and cold, so very cold. He sighed and gave in to that dizziness, welcoming it, as the only moment of true peace he knew .

"We don't have much time, Watcher, open your eyes...."

Giles opened his eyes, surprised. He blinked when he realized he wasn't in his bedroom. He was still in the graveyard, but his surroundings had changed, gone were Willow, Xander, Anya and the bodies of the demons they had killed. He was standing in front of a grave. His eyes filled with tears when he read the inscription on the headstone. It was Buffy's grave.

<What the hell is going on?>

He thought. A deep baritone voice from behind him answered to his silent question.

"Since they've been using your worst nightmare, I thought to use  the other one..."
 

Giles turned toward the voice, leaning against a headstone there was a young man, he didn't look much older than Xander. He was very pale and was completely dressed in black, the man, whoever he was took some steps forward.

Giles' knees gave out while he looked at the Headstone. He'd lived that scene so many times in his nightmares, yet something told him this wasn't a nightmare, something told him this was reality.

ELIZABETH ANNE SUMMERS
Beloved daughter and friend
1981 ~ 2001

"Oh, Buffy..." he sighed. Only then did he realize he was holding something in a hand. He looked down at it. It was a rose,  a beautiful blue sapphire rose, its thorns had pierced his palm's skin and it was bleeding. He placed the rose on the grave and looked at his bleeding hand

< Odd...it doesn't hurt>

He thought, closing it in a fist. He watched detached as rivulets blood trailed down his wrist.

The young man he had seen patted his shoulder, Giles turned and he handed him a tissue, saying, "You might want to wipe that blood away..."

"Why are you here and who the hell are you, anyway?" he asked, wincing when he pressed the tissue over the wound on his hand.

The man knelt in front of the headstone and traced with his fingers the inscription on it and said, "Tsk, tsk...such a tragedy..."

"Look, I am really not in the mood, for this..." Giles hissed.

"Temper, Rupert...I'm here to help...as I said we don't have much time, I found a leak in their spell, and I used it..." he said getting up and looking at him.

"Who the hell are you?" Giles asked taking in his exotic features, the brown  almond-shaped eyes, the greek nose. Although he looked young, he exuded a force, a charisma, a power much older than his body.

"I'm Eric, one of the Eletti, William asked for our assistance ..."

Giles  looked puzzled at the man, realization about what he had just said, dawning on him. He shook his head and took a deep breath before asking again, "Are you really here to help? "

Eric shrugged  before saying, "I'm here to warn you...I can't help you...you have to find a way out..."

Giles frowned and said, "We have been trying to!"

"Keep trying...you don't have much time, and William and Buffy will be very busy when they find you"

"What can we do?" Giles asked.

"Do what you do best...use your brains, block out  the pain and focus on the spell... "

"The spell? Which kind of spell?" Giles asked.

"You know which ones...look at what's happening to you and the red-headed witch...the solution is in what you're living"

"How do you know about it?"

"Magic, Rupert...and a very good Eletti...."

"I thought the world didn't have to know about you...."

"Particular circumstances require a certain flexibility, don't you think?"

The vampire looked around, then turning toward Giles said, "I have to go, now...and so have you..."

"I suppose I have to..." he whispered. Another day of pain and sorrow.  Another day of fruitless research, only to have Buffy dying in his arms, again.

"Look Rupert, none of us is having fun, here...and what's ahead of us is even worse...but you're not alone...not any more...." Eric said, as if he had read his thoughts.

Giles nodded at his words and asked, "Will you protect Buffy? I won't be able to..."

Eric smiled at him and said, "Don't you remember? To stand against the darkness. To be the light within the darkness...to aid the Slayer in her..."

"Never ending battle against the darkness...to lighten her burden..." Giles finished for him.

"Exactly..." the vampire said.

Giles looked fascinated as the vampire slowly disappeared, his words still echoing in his mind. While darkness slowly engulfed Giles in its dark embrace, a smile crept on his lips.

For the fist time since that nightmare had begun, he felt hope.

The end was near, he could feel it.

-15-

"Can you feel it?" Spike suddenly asked, stopping Buffy.

None of the knew how long they had been walking. The silence had become unnerving, both of them were on the edge, and the long waiting was putting a stain on them

"Feeling what?" Buffy asked rubbing her eyes with her open palms.

Spike closed his eyes, a tiny smile forming on his lips, "Them, Red and the Watcher...can't  you feel how strong they're getting?"

Buffy stood next to him, she couldn't help the smile which crossed her lips. She could almost see Willow's resolve face and the determination in Giles' eyes. "They're on to something..." she whispered.

"We are close..." Spike said in a low voice. Buffy frowned when he morphed in his game face. She realized she hadn't seen him in his demon face since they had  gotten into the tunnels.

She closed her eyes, feeling a strength coming from deep within herself, so powerful it almost choked her.

"I can feel it..." she whispered.

Just as Spike had taught her when they had entered the tunnels, she blocked out her feelings. She let the strength she was feeling filling her, her skin itched with a warmth, a fire like she had never experienced before.

The battle was really beginning.

-16-

Kneeling at the center of Giles' living room, Eric was chanting.

When he had gotten William message he almost hadn't believed in his own eyes. William  had never asked for anyone help.

Eric had trained William. For three years before he had been activated, they had lived in symbiosis. Eric had taught him how to move, how to think like a vampire.

He had taught him to bear physical torture, he had taught him to find pleasure in the pain. He had been with him when for the first time he had gone out spying on vampires and demons.

It had been him, who had chanted the spell to tie William's soul to his body.

He had chosen William, because he had been the best among the young watchers of the time. He  had seen his deep intelligence and honesty. He  had sensed the nobility of his soul and his loneliness.  William had been a very lonely man when he had been alive.

Loneliness  was the first lesson he had taught him.

The Eletti were alone. They spent their unlives alone, they fought alone, they died alone. From the moment they were chosen to the moment they died trying to keep the world safe, loneliness was the only constant of their existence.

Funny how, William had showed him, time and again how that rule didn't apply to him. Spike had never been alone. He had chosen to care, he had chosen to love. He hadn't let the demon that inhabitated his body to take over, in it he had found the strength to let himself care.

Eric admired him for that reason, but feared for him.

He could feel how on the edge William really was in that moment. There was a deep connection between them, forged on the time they had spent together.

He regretted having assigned him to Sunnydale. It had been his decision, probably because he had thought he could have really helped the Slayer. He hadn't thought that William would have grown to care so much about humans.

He had never written anything in his reports....but Eric knew William, he had read through the lines the truths unsaid.

An Eletti in love with a human. No wonder there was so much pain, so much sorrow.

There was only one thing he could do for now.

There was just one thing he could do to help his William and his friends, taking the pain away from them, giving them back strength and hope.

He would succeed in it...or die trying.

That was the lesson William had taught him.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"Am I interrupting something?" Giles asked, entering his bathroom.

Willow and Spike were there, talking. Willow's eyes were red and puffy with tears, while Spike was paler than usual

"Uhm...no, Giles...I was just going to get out..." Willow said, wiping away some tears, with the sleeve of her shirt.

"I think perhaps both of you should come to the living room with me, there is something we need to talk about..."

"Giles..." Willow started.

"I have possibly found a way to stop this, but I need your help, especially yours, Spike...."

"Why should I help you, Watcher?"

"Because you are in love with Willow...and because you are one of them...one of the Eletti....oh, take your blanket with you, you'll probably need it."

~~*~~*~~*~~

Something wasn't going according to the plans.

The demon had underestimated the Eletti and the Slayer. They were strong, very strong. They had been able to get past their animosity and had built a strong bond. The demon had expected to be able to separate them instead, they were closer.

It took a look at the purple mist, it was slowly but unceasingly fading. It hadn't been able to stop it. The two humans trapped inside were getting stronger and stronger, the demon could clearly feel their determination. They had somehow sensed what was happening, and were working from the inside to break the spell. The demon knew it was impossible, but still such a determination was scaring.

The demon could feel on himself the eyes of the other. A failure was not contemplated, was not going to be accepted.

He blew to the mist, and felt the energy being dissipated before it reached the two humans. Something was protecting them. Something or someone was taking the pain away from them and channeling it elsewhere.

"Let's see how much you can take..." the demon hissed stretching a hand toward the mist. Its smile grew when it heard the young woman trapped in the mist crying.

Perhaps it had underestimated them, but it always learned from its mistakes.

-17-

Willow was looking at the Twilight, from the entrance of Sunnydale's tunnels. Its colors were amazing, she didn't think she had ever seen something as beautiful as those colors. She wished Spike was with her, seeing them, but he had already entered the tunnel. She could hear him arguing with Buffy about weapons to use.

What Giles had told them in the living room  while had lifted a weight from her shoulders, had filled her with a deep anger and sadness.

Nothing of what they had been living was true. They were under a spell, trapped in their worst nightmares. Giles had been researching on a way to break the spell, from within.

The only way he had found was going to face who had cast the spell, metaphorically at least.

The knowledge that Giles and she were the only real people in that complex spell hadn't helped her at all, it had only increased her rage.

She wondered how her real friends were doing, she wondered whether they were close and if they were all right.

"Willow?" Giles' voice made her start, she turned toward her friend and said, "We have been trapped in this spell for what it looks like years...and I don't remember we've ever stopped and looked around..."

Giles silently placed a hand on her shoulder, Willow looked at him surprised. They had both changed so much since that nightmare had started, she sighed and whispered, "We'll get out from here...whatever here is.... "

                                                                                                                                                                   She turned toward his friends and met his eyes, she realized his look mirrored hers: it was payback time.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"They're fighting the spell" Eric announced opening his eyes. He turned to look at Xander and Anya who were kneeling next to him on the floor.

They both looked quite tired. Eric shrugged and said, "You'd better take a nap, or you won't be of any help..."

He slowly stood up  and took his black leather jacket from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Xander asked.

"I'm going into the galleries, William and the Slayer ..."

"Buffy...her name is Buffy, she's not just the Slayer..." Xander hissed interrupting him.

"Don't you think I know that? Sorry, Xander I'm not here to discuss Buffy's qualities as human being. I'm just here to help them in any way I can..."

"I'm coming with you" Xander said.

"You're not going anywhere...I need you here now, and we'll need your help when we come back...for now, you just have to stay here with Anya...and stay within the circle."

"What will happen under the galleries?" Xander asked.
 

"I don't know...it shouldn't be that different from the attempted Ascension  you witnessed a couple of years ago, though."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better..." he mumbled.

"You asked for it, mate..." Eric said smiling while he went to the door.

"Now, I know where Spike took his attitude...." Xander said under his breath.

Eric laughed at his words, while he opened the door and said, "I heard that, Xander..."

"It was meant for you to hear..." he said.

Eric turned, a serious expression in his eyes, "We'll come back soon, Xander...I promise you...."

Xander nodded. He didn't know why he believed him. He felt that vampire, would bring his friends back to him.

The door closed leaving Xander and Anya alone, Xander turned toward his girlfriend and looked at her, she looked so tired, he was so proud of her, he stretched his uninjured hand toward her and brushed some hair away from her face whispering, "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Anya shook her head no at his words, while tears filled her eyes, Xander smiled at her and said, "I was stupid, An...I love you..."

"I love you too, Xander..." she took his hand in hers and  lightly squeezed it, whispering, "Come here...you need to rest...Giles and the others will need you when they come back"

Xander nodded, and got closer to her. he placed his head on her lap and slowly closed his eyes, while she slowly caressed his hair. For the first time since his friends had been taken Xander was able to close his eyes.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Buffy was sure she was covered in blood. Never had she felt so dirty in her life.

She didn't know how many vampires and demons she had killed. They were close to the center, she could feel it, every cell of her being could feel how close they were.

They had been fighting for what it looked like hours. She knew Spike was fighting behind her, although she hadn't looked at him. She didn't feel tired, she just feared the moment, she was going to face a human being.

Spike had told her those were human beings only technically speaking, and intellectually she was ready to do whatever she could to stop them and save Giles and Willow...she was just afraid that when moment would come she wasn't going to be really able to go ahead.

She knew that she couldn't rely on Spike to do that, it was something she was going to do alone.

She could feel Giles, she could feel how he was  fighting the spell, she could feel how determined he was to end that nightmare. She wished he was with her, she wished she could tell him how much she loved him, how she didn't want to live another day without him knowing how she felt.

The last demon fell on the pavement, she turned toward Spike. He was still fighting a very ugly looking demon, he was in his game face, yet never had he looked so human to  Buffy as in that moment. There was a desperation, an urgency in each one of his moves.

He hadn't told her anything about his feelings for Willow and she knew there was another bigger battle they were going to fight, but she felt he was fighting it for Willow.

The ugly-looking demon Spike had been fighting fell on the pavement with a loud thud. The vampire turned toward her and said, "They're afraid, ducks....we're too close...."

"Willow and Giles are fighting them.....can you feel it?"

Spike  nodded while getting closer to her and said, "They had underestimated them....but they won't do that again, we have to..." he suddenly stopped talking, both Buffy and he tensed.

"Someone is coming...." Buffy whispered.

Spike nodded and raised a hand to hush her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him.

"What..." she said in  a low voice.

A figure came out from a corner, Spike blinked, surprised. It couldn't be true. That had to be another illusion created to weaken him. "If you're trying to mess with my head again...." He hissed.

A deep laughter echoed in the gallery. That was a laughter he would have recognized everywhere, it was deep and rich. Spike lessened his grip on Buffy's arm when the figure taking a step forward said,  "William...let me see if your roots are showing"

A smile formed on Spike's lips, he unconsciously morphed back in his human face, he almost chuckled before saying, "Oh, I don't know...how can I be sure it's really you? You know, it's not something I show to anyone"

"I guess you are right, mate..." the voice said taking another step forward and both Spike and Buffy could see the young man who had been talking. He was shorter than Spike and looked younger than him, he was smiling widely at them.

Spike's smile turned into a snort, he took a step forward as well and said, "You've not changed Eric...."

"Too bad I can't say the same for you, William....so that's the bad guys' playground?"

Spike nodded, then said, "How kind of you to join us..."

"Oh, you know me William, I would never refuse such a kind plea for help as, 'Drag your arse over here, you almond-eyed pillock'"

Spike's doubts about Eric's real identity vanished. When he had gathered information about the heta7tanatos,  he had specifically asked for Eric's help, saying those exact words. It almost looked like it had happened years ago. He looked at his eldest friend and said, "How long have we been here?"

"Almost three days, mate...I've been looking for you in the galleries since yesterday"

"Almost three days? You mean the time is almost up?" Buffy chimed in. Both the vampires turned toward her and Eric shrugged before saying, "We are quite close, I've been checking on your friends....they're safe for now..." he looked again at Spike and said, "William, as much as I wish  we stayed here and saw how your roots are showing, I'd suggest we just cut the crap and went stopping heta7tanatos"

"Sounds like a plan" Buffy said looking at both of them. She didn't know who that Eric guy was, but she could feel how much Spike trusted him, and she had learned to trust him since Willow and Giles had been taken.

"So, what you have in mind, Eric?" Spike asked. He wasn't surprised when  Eric didn't answer him, he had closed his eyes, and his lips were mouthing something....Spike smiled when he realized what  Eric was chanting .

"What is he doing?" Buffy asked.

Spike shook his head no and raised a finger, hushing her, they both blinked when an emerald green light enveloped them

Eric slowly opened his eyes and said, "That's much better"

"What is that?" Buffy asked.

Spike was grinning when he said, "He has blocked them out...they can't feel, hear or see us...."

"Cool..." Buffy said looking around, she then looked at Eric and asked, "So, magick man, what's your plan?"

"Let's see we have two Eletti and a Slayer...and enough mystical power and physical strength  to make them taste their own medicine, they've tried to mess with your head and weaken you...let's see if we can do the same with them..."

Spike nodded and said, "You said you checked on Red and the Watcher...did you find a leak?"

Eric nodded and added, "Good boy...and I take you know what we are going to do now..."

"You're going to widen the leak...while Buffy and I are going to kick some asses..."

Buffy turned toward Spike surprised he had used her name, Eric noticed it because smiling he said, "Our William is full of surprises, under all that bleach there's a brain....and a good heart"

"Hey, I resent the last remark, you wanker!" Spike said.

Both Buffy and Eric raised their eyebrows at his words, Spike snorted  and shook his head before saying, "You'll pay for that, Eric..."

Eric shook his head smiling, his smile faded, though when he turned toward Buffy, he took a long look at her before asking, "Are you ready, child? Really ready... This is going to be hard...William will take as many demons he can...but you'll have to ... "

Buffy nodded and interrupted him saying, "I'll do whatever I have to..."

"Good...I'd say, we should put this show on the road, then...." Eric said, he turned toward Spike and asked,  "Do you still remember your training?"

"Of course, I do...you wanker..."

"Good...do you remember the first lesson about fighting?".

"Take a step back before they mess your clothes?" Spike asked smirking

"Ah, bloody, ah...it's..."

"surprise the hell out of them...." Spike finished for him.

"Good...now, let's go children...we don't have much time..."

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, perfect understanding and an identical look in their eyes, they nodded at each other, then Buffy said, "Uh...Eric? Don't call us children...ever, ever, again..."

-18-

"Giles?"  Buffy's voice called from behind Giles' shoulders. The man turned. Although that wasn't the real Buffy, but just part of a complex spell, it was hard for him, to remember that.

They had been in that gallery for hours, each of them had a powerful flashlight, and plenty of stakes. He had been walking lightly ahead  of the others but he slowed his pace and she was immediately next to him, so close to him that  her shoulder brushed against his forearm.

"Yes, Buffy?" he said, feeling more tired than he had ever felt in his life.

"Are you all right?" the Slayer asked, grazing the back of his hand with a finger.

Giles shook his head no and said, "It's hard to remember it is a spell...and..."

"That I'm just part of your worst nightmare?" she finished in a low voice.

"Your death is my worst nightmare, Buffy...not you..."

"I'm not dead...I'm here next to you, now...why don't you talk to me?"

"Because...."

"Because I'm not real?" she asked.

Giles slowly  nodded at her words. "I'm sorry...."

"Do you really  love her? The real Buffy, I mean..."

"With everything I am..."

"Does she love you back?"

"I don't know...."

"We always feel the truth deep within ourselves ...and since I'm a part of you...I'd say that she loves you back..."

"I wish it were true..."

"I'll tell you what ...You'll ask her when you come back and then you'll tell me the answer in your dreams..."

Giles stopped and looked at her smiling face. Even if she wasn't the real Buffy, she had the same power on him...she gave him hope, his hand sought hers, their fingers intertwined. Buffy shrugged and said, "We'd better hurry, Giles...I want to tell you 'I told you so' as soon as possible"

Giles shook his head and chuckled. Buffy Summers was even in his dreams, the most exasperating, impossible, incorrigible woman he had ever met.

He wouldn't want her any other way.

 ~~*~~*~~*~~

There was too much light, too much silence in that gallery.

They all felt they were almost at the end of the road. They knew they were close and that silence didn't hold anything good.

Smell of death and decay hit their nostrils. The evilness of that place was almost palpable like a thick veil.

"Are they ever going to show up?" Buffy asked suddenly. Goosebumps had covered her arms and face.

"Don't be too impatient, Slayer....they'll show up...they're just waiting for the right moment..."

"How do you know about all this?" Spike asked.

"Research, William...if you hadn't rushed down here and you had read better the information on the floppy we sent you, you would have known.... "

"Gee...you almost sounded like Giles..." Buffy remarked.

Eric ignored her and said, "They need your blood William...yours and the Slayer's..."

"Why didn't they take us during the first battle?" Buffy asked.

"Because it was still soon, don't you remember, ducks? We weren't ready for them...we had to be weaker....both physically and emotionally....that's why they took Red and Giles... "

"They probably hadn't realized that your love for them has given you strength...by the way, when did you fall in love with the witch?" Eric asked.

Spike snorted and said, "Mind your own business, Eric..."

"That's my business, William...you know the rules..."

"Bugger the rules, Eric! You can't decide whom I fall in love with...I've given up my *life* for the Eletti...I'm probably going to get dusted to stop the end of the world...but I'm not going to let a bunch of old tossers like you to interfere with this!"

"You really love her..." Buffy said.

"Are you surprised?" both Spike and Eric asked in unison.

"After the last three days? You've got to be kidding me..." she mumbled.

Eric chuckled, then turning toward Spike said, "William...I'm not going to interfere...I'm the only old tosser who know about this...but be careful...just because you've got a soul it doesn't mean she's safe..."

"Don't you think I know that?" Spike said, looking at Eric, the other vampire was about to say something when Buffy interrupted him saying, "Rewind...*soul*? What are you talking about?"

"You didn't tell her?" Eric asked looking at Spike.

Spike shrugged and said looking at Buffy, "Oh, yes...I forgot to tell you, I still have my soul...all the Eletti keep it..."

Buffy didn't have the time to speak, the earth seemed to suddenly shatter all around them, while the too bright lights in the gallery slowly faded replaced by the sinister purple light.

They could all feel it. They could feel the presence of the powerful entity that was behind  it, the powerful entity that had decided to take Willow and Giles.

YOUR TRICKS AREN'T GOING TO HELP YOU...I KNOW YOU ARE HERE

The voice said. Eric and Spike exchanged a glance, then Spike lightly grabbed Buffy's wrist and pointed with a look at a corner of the  little  hall they were in. Buffy silently nodded at him and moved toward the right coming out from the magic shield Eric had created.

Spike turned toward Eric and murmured, "To stand against the darkness. To be the light within the darkness...to aid the Slayer in her never ending...."

" battle against the darkness...to lighten her burden...to fight by her side and die for her...to protect the world ...always"

"Always" Spike repeated, he smiled at his friend and said before going out from the shield, "It's good to see you, mate...."

Eric smiled back at him and once he had exited the shield murmured, "It's good to be here, son..."

-19-

Xander hoped he was still asleep, he hoped that was just a dream, but somehow he doubted it.  He had seen many things that would have scared a normal man blind, since he had met Buffy...but nothing had prepared him to what was witnessing.

A part of his mind was telling him to turn his back at what he was seeing and end that nightmare...but the images he was seeing, the battle he was witnessing  was hypnotic.

Buffy and Spike were fighting. Never had he seen so much blood, so many demons and vampires. Buffy and Spike were fighting on opposite sides of a  hall, taking down as many demons as they could, with a strength and determination it almost didn't seem human.

They probably didn't even realize they were moving and fighting in sync. He screamed when a huge demon appeared behind  Buffy's shoulders, but couldn't help sighing in relief when a simple look from Spike was enough to warn her friend.

He could feel Willow and Giles, feel they were fighting as well. He didn't want to move toward them, but he couldn't help it, it was almost like they were calling him.

The hall was lit only by a purple light, he could see some flickers of green light and he instinctively knew it was coming from Eric...he suspected he was surrounded by it as well.

< Am I really dreaming? > he wondered.

<Does it really matter? > Eric's voice answered him.

<I guess it doesn't...what am I doing here? > he asked.

Eric answered him in a language Xander was almost sure was Latin  <Oculos meos es! Brachia mea es! Eorum bellatorem es! [be my eyes, be my arms...be their warrior]>

Although he didn't understand what Eric had told him, he knew what he had to do. There was a  junction at the end of the hall without even thinking he went to the left. He wasn't afraid anymore. he didn't fear anything. Although he could clearly feel Willow and Giles he wasn't afraid for them, either. He knew what to do.

He slowly walked toward the purple mist, there were two horned demons guarding it. They didn't seem to acknowledge his presence. He could almost see his two friends within the purple mist, he could discern their bodies.

< Be my arms, Xander>

Eric told him. Xander closed his eyes and stretched his arms toward the purple mist, it almost seemed solid, and was cold. Xander couldn't help blinking when from his hands poured out a greenish iridescent  light. He arched his head, he could feel energy  flowing throughout his body, the purple mist almost melted against the greenish light.

< Enter and be their warrior, Xander...>

Xander took a deep breath. he glimpsed Willow and Giles: strong  snake like strings were all around their heads. They both had  their eyes open but didn't move.

<Don't try to free them...>  Eric warned. Xander nodded, without even realizing what he was doing.  He entered the purple mist, there weren't smells within it, there weren't rumors except for Willow and Giles' panting breaths. Xander moved toward them.

<Be their warrior, Xander>  Eric told him. Xander knelt in front of his friends. He took both their hands in his wincing at how cold they were and closed his eyes.

Flashes of colors and images filled his head. He tilted his head back and gasped.

In the living room of Giles' apartment, a sleeping Xander stirred from Anya's arms and screamed while blood poured out from his nostrils.

He had entered the leak.

-20-

"Noooo!" Giles screamed while Buffy fell on the pavement, her neck snapped by a demon. It didn't matter to him, that the woman who had just died wasn't the real Buffy...it hurt all the same. He rushed toward her, oblivious of the others, and took her limp body in his arms.

He held Buffy's body to him for some seconds, there weren't tears, the hurt, the sorrow, was so deep that it couldn't be expressed by tears or screams.

He gently placed her on the ground, grazing her forehead with his lips and whispered against her cheek, "I'll see you again in my dreams, love...I want you to tell me I told you so...."

He closed his eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he slowly opened them and turned, it was Willow, she had a bruise under her right eye, her shirt was shredded, but he had never seen her more calm. Her infamous resolve face was firmly on, she lightly squeezed Giles' shoulder and said, "Come on Giles, we can't stop now...they'll pay for this, too..."

Giles nodded and got up. They were alone now. Xander and Anya had died, killed by two vampires. Willow had held Xander in his arms, gently rocking him for some minutes. She hadn't shed a tear, she hadn't cried not even when Spike had been dusted. He had heard what Spike had told her just before being dusted...he had whispered to her, "I'll be waiting..."

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I don't know whether I'll be ever again all right...but I'm fine now...and you?"

"Ripper is looking forward to get acquainted with the pillock that has taken us."

"Let's...."

"WILL?"

Both Willow and Giles started hearing Xander's voice. They exchanged a glance, Giles swallowed and said, "It can't be him...it's just another illusion, Willow..."

"GUYS ARE YOU THERE?"

Xander's voice called again. Willow and Giles took a step toward the voice, Giles hand was on Willow's shoulder. They stopped when they saw him.

Xander was walking toward them, he looked different from the Xander who had been killed. He was paler and a green light surrounded him, like a halo. The young man stopped when he saw them, both Willow and Giles could see his eyes filling with tears when he saw them, he started walking again, his pace quicker and  when he was in front of them he asked, "Are you all right? I wasn't even sure you were still alive..."

"You're not real...so don't even start" Willow said, her voice steel-like.

"Eric sent me...I don't know how..."

"Who?" Willow asked.

"The Eletti who suggested me how to break the spell..." Giles informed her.

Willow turned and looked at Giles, the man nodded at her.

"Man, it's so good to see you...." Xander said grinning.

"It's good to see you too, Xand..." Willow mumbled.

"We have to hurry, we don't have much time...." Xander said.

"How long have we been under the spell?" Willow asked. Time had stopped making sense to her, since that nightmare had started.

"You've been taken four days ago, the day after Spike and Buffy went looking for you..."

"A...are they all right?" Giles asked.

"I don't know, G-Man...they were fighting when Eric sent me here...they were doing great, but..." he stopped, and shrugged his shoulders.

Giles nodded then said, "Why are you here?"

"I'm Eric's eyes and arms here...and I'm your warrior..."

"Well, warrior...we have some major kicking ass to do, are you up to it?" Willow asked smiling at him.

Xander just nodded at his friend and said, "They will never know what hit them"

He stretched his arms toward them, both Giles and Willow took his hand, they both could feel energy flowing into them.

Giles nodded at Xander, a Ripperish gleam in his eyes and whispered, "Indeed"

~~*~~*~~*~~

Buffy  didn't know how many demons  she had killed over the last days. She didn't feel tired, although she knew the only thing which was keeping her awake was adrenaline and the fear for Willow and Giles. She knew she had been hurt, but she almost didn't feel the pain. The last vampire she had been fighting turned in dust under her eyes and she couldn't help sighing in relief.

She could hear the noise of Spike's fights, she couldn't hear Eric but she knew he was there somehow. She knew he had found a way to widen the leak and was helping Willow and Giles.

"Are you tired, Slayer?" a woman's voice called, she could barely discern the form of her speaker, it was partially hidden by the purple light.

Her spider sense didn't warn her, and Buffy knew that it was the moment she had feared since she had entered the tunnels.

The figure took a step forward and Buffy could clearly see her.  Her opponent wasn't an ugly looking demon,  it wasn't a vampire.

Her opponent was a woman. She wasn't much older than her. She had a heart-beat, and was alive. She was human...

....technically speaking.

"Look, I've had some really crappy days and  I'm really not in the mood..." Buffy said, "I'll give you a fair warning...get the hell out of here, get a life... and for god's sake get some make up while you're at it, you look like death warmed over!"

The woman smiled at her, showing her decayed teeth, she took another step toward her, her skin was livid and there was a huge bluish stain on a side of her face, "I'll get a life, yours..."

"You know what? Your puns suck, your outfit..." she said pointing at her grey tunic "suck...and about the rest, may I say: eeeeew?"

The woman growled at her and stretched her hands toward her, Buffy rolled her eyes and from seemingly nowhere produced a knife that immediately threw at the woman. The knife with deadly precision pierced her hand, the woman screamed and brought her hand to her chest.

"I've many more knives, and I'm really in venting mode...but I give you another fair warning, Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. Here" she hissed.

The woman looked at her and laughed. She extracted the knife from her hand and toyed with it for some seconds before throwing it back at her.

Buffy sighed and caught it without even really concentrating on the task, she then threw the knife on the ground and said, "Fine...don't tell I hadn't warned you...."

The woman didn't let her finish though, she threw herself at Buffy, aiming a sword at her.

"Oh, please..."  was what all Buffy said. She easily disarmed the woman and grabbed her, circling her neck with her arm. She noticed a medallion that hung, on the woman's neck, and took it away from her with the other  hand,  Buffy lightly tightened her grip around the woman's neck and said, "Now ...whatever shall I do?"

"Do what you want" the woman rasped, "you won't be able to stop us..."

"Perhaps...but you won't be here to see the outcome" the Slayer said. She tightened a little more her grip around the woman's neck and met Spike's eyes, he was slowly getting close to her. She hoped neither the woman nor the vampire could see how frightened she really was.

How frightened she was of herself.

She swallowed while tears filled her eyes. She could  hear the woman gasping for breath beneath her.  She closed her eyes and tightened her grip a little more. The woman stopped struggling. Buffy lessened her grip and the woman fell on the ground.

"You didn't kill her..." Spike said in a low voice "I can still hear her heart-beat"

Buffy opened her eyes, "She won't harm us...."

She threw the medallion on the ground and shattered its stone, with the heels of her boots. Tears were rolling on her cheeks, but she didn't even realize that.

"Slayer..." Spike said getting close to her.

Buffy raised a hand to stop him, she didn't even look at him, her shoulders shook, while she was trying hard to hold back sobs. She feared that if she started crying now, she wouldn't have been able to stop.

"Buffy..."

Her lower lip trembled, she turned giving her back to Spike, she sucked in a big gulp of air when she felt Spike's cool hands on her shoulders pulling her to him. She slowly turned and hid her face in his duster inhaling the leather smell. She felt Spike's hand hesitantly patting her shoulder.

"You didn't kill her...that's all that matters..." he said in a low voice.

"Y...you...d...don't understand...I wanted to...I forced myself not to...I'd always thought that when the moment came I should have forced myself to kill...instead...my God Spike, what's happening to me? Am I becoming a monster?" she sobbed. If someone four days before had told her she would have cried in Spike's arms she wouldn't have believed...but so many things had happened since then.

Spike lightly forced her to raise her head, tilting her chin up with a finger and said, "I told you when this started, Buffy...God doesn't fit into this picture...you are not a sodding monster...and take it from someone else besides you who has been making a living of fighting them for centuries..."

Buffy nodded and couldn't help smiling at him. She sniffed and stepped back from him saying, "Tell someone  about this and soul or not you'll fit into an ashtray, Spike..."

Spike smiled back at her but said, "Yeah? You and what army? Come on, ducks...we have a wanker to kill and I'm not talking about the big poofini..."

-21-

Eric could feel the leak widen. He knew he didn't have much strength left. The young man was valiantly fighting, using both his own strength and his powers. Using him was dangerous but it had been the only way for him to help the witch and the Watcher since he had to be physically near to William and the Slayer, they needed him with them.

Eric shook his head and began chanting again. Sometime having a soul and caring about an old friend was a bitch.

A tiny smile formed on his lips while he was chanting.

...sometimes, though, it could be very funny...and Eric hadn't had so much fun in centuries.

~~*~~*~~*~~

The demon roared. Its army had been almost dispatched by the Elettis and the Slayer and it knew the remaining demons were running away.

The demon was weakening, its grip around the two humans trapped in the mist was lessening.

Its roar was heard in the gallery...but for the first time it couldn't feel fear or sorrow, just a strong determination.

It was almost the end, the demon could feel it...perhaps it was going down...perhaps its plan had failed...but the Slayer and the Elettis were going to go down as well.

Even if it was the last thing it did.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"Man...I'm not going to eat any more..." Xander grumbled, fighting back a wave of nausea when another demon exploded covering him  in a yellowish slime.

"That said by the guy who devoured a fried chicken just after the Ascension?" Willow said after dusting a vampire.

"You're a barrel o' laughter, Rosenberg you know that? Remind me, why am I here?" Xander said smiling while getting close to Giles and Willow who where at the center of the hall, the same hall he had seen Spike and Buffy fighting in.

"Because we're family... " Willow  simply said, she shrugged then added, "and because it's against the Scooby Gang's code of ethics letting another Scooby die..."

Xander smiled at her, and pulled her in a hug whispering against her hair, "Luv ya, Will..."

"Luv ya back, Xand..." Willow whispered back against his chest.

A polite tap of cough made them start, it was Giles who said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have a demon to kill...I am quite tired of being trapped in my worst nightmare..."

"Luv ya too G-Man" Xander said.

Giles couldn't help rolling his eyes at Xander's words, yet he smiled at him when he said, "Don't call me that..."

"Now, let me show you the way..." Xander said.

They left the hall and headed toward the junction. They followed Xander, holding hands. They could feel the energy, the power ...they didn't fear the evil that radiated from that place, both Willow and Giles hadn't felt that strong since they had been taken. They only had one goal, kill the demon that was keeping them trapped.

They didn't even blink when they entered the purple mist, they could feel the entity within it roaring and squirming.

There weren't the horned demons Xander had seen when he had entered the mist for the fist time. They were alone...apparently.

The mist was becoming thicker around them. they stopped and silently formed a circle. Xander arched his head, he could feel Eric's power entering him.

He began chanting without even realizing he was doing it, he didn't even notice how Willow and Giles were looking at him. A bright green light radiated from them all, it seemed to fight with the purple mist, it almost seemed to eat it, piece by piece, when it finally dissipated they could see a figure standing not far away from them.

It was a demon there weren't doubts about it. It was probably three meters tall, its skin was as white as marble, and almost iridescent, it  was hairless. The demon slowly walked toward them, and they could see its eyes, they were black orbs, its mouth was large with razor-like fangs.

"Jesus..." Xander whispered seeing the demon.

<It's not the moment to be squeamish, Xander...be my arms, be my eyes and be their warrior> Eric's voice told him.

"Uh...Giles? Any suggestions about how to kill its uber ugliness over there?" Xander asked.

Both Willow and Giles turned toward him and Giles said, "Magic, Xander...that's the only way..."

"Good, good...." Xander said

"Now it's the time to be our warrior, Xand...distract him" Willow said, kneeling on the ground and taking from her backpack the components for the counter spell.

Xander sighed and while he took a step forward, getting close to the demon deadpanned, "Alright...but don't say I don't do nothing for you...."

The demon came toward him, it was walking slowly it opened its mouth and said, "Do you really think you can stop me, you useless child?"

<be my arms, Xander...> Eric's voice whispered.

Xander shrugged and stretching his hands toward the demon said, "You know something about useless children? They're highly underestimated..."

He was almost thrown back  by the energy that poured out from his hands, the demon fell back on its shoulders

<Whoa Eric...I didn't expect you to pack such a wallop...> Xander told the Eletti.

<It's not finished, yet Xander...be their warrior...> was Eric's only answer.

Xander blinked, he could already hear Willow and Giles chanting. The demon slowly got up, it evilly smiled at him showing his fangs then blew at him.

An incredible pain  exploded in Xander's head. He fell on his knees, feeling breathless, his heart almost seemed to burst in his chest. Never had he felt such pain...he took a few deep breaths and slowly got up hissing, " That's *so* it, you know? You're really gonna die, now..."

"I'd like to see you try" the demon hissed back.

He could hear that Giles and Willow had stopped chanting, without turning to look at them he asked, "Guys? Are you ready?"

"As ready as we'll ever be, Xand..."

Xander nodded and stretched his arms on his sides, he smiled when he felt Willow and Giles taking his hands. He closed his eyes while channeling all Eric's energy on the counter spell that Willow and Giles were chanting.

He felt like burning, but he didn't break concentration, he didn't open his eyes, he didn't even flinch. He wasn't understanding a single word of the spell, yet it was like he knew each word by heart. .

There was a loud, shrill scream and then a sharp noise, as if something had popped, when he opened his eyes, the demon had disappeared. He looked at his friends, they both looked exhausted and he himself felt dead tired, yet he grinned at his friends  and said, "Well, that's something I'm gonna tell to my grand kids..."

Both Willow and Giles smiled at him, they let go of his hands the greenish light that surrounded them, seemed to lightly fade

<It's time for you to go, Xander...I can't keep the leak open any more...> Eric told him.

Xander nodded and closed his eyes, he was feeling lightheaded, he opened his eyes and looked at his friends who were looking at him, puzzled, he shrugged and said, "My work here is done...now it's Buffy and Spike's battle..." he grinned and said, "I guess we'll see each other home..."

Both Giles and Willow nodded, then Willow pulled him to her and hugged him, saying under her breath, "Tell Spike I love him, Eric..."

Xander blinked, surprised by his friend words. He had realized the bleached blonde vampire had the hots for his friend, he just didn't suspect Willow reciprocated  those feelings. he pulled away from her and said, "You'll tell him when you come back..." he looked at Giles, who was lightly apart from them, a sad expression in his green eyes, and grinning said, "You both will...I foresee major smoochies in your future..."

Willow and Giles looked at him surprised, he didn't hear their reply though, they disappeared. Flashes, colors, images, smells, invaded his mind.

In the living room of Giles' apartment, Xander Harris awoke with a start from Anya's lap. The former demon was looking at him, worried

"Xander, are you all right? I couldn't wake you...you have been asleep since Eric left yesterday...."

Xander blinked, he stifled a yawn and getting up he said,  "An? We have to go ...I'll explain what happened while we're going ....you will never believe what happened!"

Anya cocked an eyebrow at him saying, " You've got to be kidding! Former vengeance demon here, remember?"

Xander shook his head and pulled her at him, kissing her hard before heading to the door

Anya followed him to door and asked, "Xander? Where exactly are we going?"

Xander grinned at her and said, "We're going to pick the others up"

-22-

The hall was empty. There weren't demons or humans any more. Both Spike and Buffy knew some of them had escaped, but they didn't care. They got close to Eric, who was still within the green light, his eyes were closed and he was still chanting. Spike knew he was closing the leak, the black haired  vampire opened his eyes and said, "They've broken the spell...now it's up to us..."

"Are they all right?" Buffy and Spike asked practically in unison.

Eric nodded , "Yes, they are...but they're not safe, yet...we have to free them and we don't have much time...follow me..."

Just like Willow and Giles had done, Spike and Buffy headed toward the junction. They noticed that the purple mist was weaker, they could clearly saw through it. there weren't any demons to guard it, but the evil in it was still palpable, was still there.

DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE WON?

The voice asked, and the two vampires and the Slayer knew the demon was weaker, but they knew as well that they couldn't let their guard down. Buffy and Spike looked at Eric, none of them questioned the strong silent communication borne among them, they were practically able to read each other's minds. Eric nodded at them and took a step back, while Buffy and Spike, side by side moved lightly forward toward the center of the mist.

 They could clearly see Willow and Giles, they were standing  very close to each other. They were still dressed as when they had been taken, they both had their eyes open and were very pale, thick purple tentacles bound them, they looked like snakes, and lightly throbbed around their heads.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, then turned toward Eric who wasn't surrounded by the green shield any more, the older vampire looked at them and said, "Find its heart...I'll weaken it"

DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO COME ALONE?

The voice asked.

 "Did you? Really?" Buffy asked, "How inconsiderate of us..."

YOUR LOVED ONES  WILL DIE BECAUSE OF THIS...

"You know what, purple rain?"  Spike said interrupting the demon. He  looked at Buffy who was getting closer to Willow and Giles, "I think I can probably speak on the Slayer's behalf too, when I say DROP DEAD! "

The demon roared, and the tentacles around Willow and Giles lightly shifted, the mist seemed to become liquid around them, and the purple light became brighter. He got close to Buffy, she was standing still in front of Willow and Giles, her eyes were closed, her head lightly tilted on a side, a predator smile on her face.

He didn't understand at first, what was happening, then he heard the noise, Eric's chanting in the background couldn't cover it completely. It was the demon's heart. He couldn't help smiling at Buffy, before closing his eyes, and just like she was doing  he focused his senses to locate the demon's heart. Eric's voice grew louder, Spike vaguely recognized the language he was using and the words he was saying, he knew however, that his friend was succeeding in weakening the demon.

"Can you hear it?" Buffy asked in a low voice.

"I can almost see it..." Spike said

"It's between Willow and Giles..." Buffy informed him.

"I know, their heartbeats are close..."

YOU WILL NEVER KILL ME...

The demon said, its voice was weaker, and it didn't hold the same self confidence it had had just a few minutes before.

"Wanna bet?" Buffy asked opening her eyes.

Spike opened his eyes as well, he met Buffy's eyes, noticing for the fist time, how the last four days had taken its toll on her, in that sickening purple light, the circles under her eyes seemed deeper, her face was dirty, but the fire in her eyes was still there, a tiny smile formed on her lips, she shrugged and said, "Wanna shut up this sucker for good?"

Spike just nodded at her words, smiling back at her, in sync they turned toward Willow and Giles, spotting the demon's heart which was between them, it was large, and both Buffy and Spike knew they had to be very careful not to hurt Willow and Giles.

They were both holding swords in their hands, they moved slowly toward it, unconsciously waiting for Eric's signal. They didn't have to wait long, for behind their shoulders they heard the older vampire's last words of the spell. The demon howled and its howl almost deafened them, but they didn't care, with superhuman strength they pierced the demon's heart with their swords.

While the mist dissipated all around them and the light faded, Buffy and Spike saw the tentacles that had been holding Willow and Giles melting all around them, their bodies went limp and they rushed to them, to prevent their fall.

They were used to seeing in the darkness, and what they saw all around them left them speechless. The gallery was quickly morphing under their eyes, the evil magic that had been molding it, seemed to have faded together with the mist. The gallery, that had seemed endless to them, when they had entered it, now had returned to its normal size. Both Spike and Buffy though, didn't care about that, after four long days they were holding their loved ones in their arms.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Spike noticed how tenderly, Buffy was caressing Giles hair and brow, and holding him to her, whispering to him how much she loved him. He smiled when the man stirred in her arms and couldn't help chuckling when he said aloud, "Ow! Luv, you are squeezing too tightly... "

He raised his head when he heard Eric getting close to them. The vampire, knelt in front of him, he was indulgently smiling at him, he took a look at Willow and said, "So this is the witch?"

"Her name is Willow, you tosser..." Spike growled, but he couldn't help smiling at him.

"She's worth it..."

Spike looked at Eric, they locked eyes for some seconds, then Eric got up and softly said, "I think she's worth everything for you, isn't she, William?"

Spike just nodded at his words, and shrugged.

Eric laughed and said, "I guess it's time for me to go...well done, William...you did a good job..." he turned toward Buffy and added, "You both did..."

"Did you have any doubts about  it?" Buffy and Spike asked in unison.

Eric snorted at their words and said, "William? Willow asked me to tell you she loves you...and Slayer? Although your watcher didn't say anything, Xander foresaw and I quote him here 'major smoochies' in your future. It's been good to see you, William..."  he turned toward Buffy and smiling at her said, "It's been a honor to know you, Buffy..."

With those words he turned his back to them and disappeared in the darkness of the gallery.

"Is he going to be safe? We don't know whether it's morning outside..." Buffy asked.

Spike smiled  and looking at Eric's fading form  said, "Don't worry, he always finds a way...."

He lowered his head and looked at Willow, she hadn't stirred yet, but her heart was strongly beating in her chest, he gently tucked some locks away from her face and grazed the soft skin of her face. A tiny smile formed on Willow's lips.

"You're awake, Red?"

"Hmm..." was Willow's only reply, her smile grew wider  when  Spike  pulled her tighter to him, she nuzzled against his chest and murmured, "I like to be in your arms...I could stay like this forever..."

Spike loudly snorted at her words but didn't say anything, a goofy grin was playing on his face. He grazed Willow's tousled hair with his fingers and whispered, "It's fine by me..."

EPILOGUE

Buffy had troubles believing just a week had passed since they had freed Willow and Giles. So much had happened from the moment they had found Xander and Anya waiting for them at the exit of the tunnels to that very moment.

She lazily stirred in Giles' bed and couldn't help chuckling thinking about how much time she had spent in that bed and not just for the major smoochies Xander had foreseen.

"Luv, is everything all right?" Giles asked pulling her to him. Buffy happily sighed against his naked chest and whispered, "Everything is perfect, Rupert..." she raised her head and met his deep green eyes, she smiled and repeated, "Everything..."

Giles smiled at the young woman, he idly caressed the silky skin of her naked back. He took her hand in his and kissed it before saying, "I couldn't agree more, love..."

Buffy placed a kiss on his chest and whispered, "I love you, Rupert..."

Giles could read the utter sincerity of those words in her eyes. Buffy raised her head, as always they met halfway. Their lips touched and grazed each other, in a sweet kiss. He circled her shoulders with an arm and said, "I love you too, Buffy..."

She yawned and when he chuckled said, "I know it's not very romantic....but couldn't we get some sleep?"

"Talking about anticlimax..." Giles mumbled and chuckled when she playfully poked his ribs, he  pulled her tighter to him and while he closed his eyes he softly laughed.

"What?" Buffy sleepily asked.

"Nothing love...I'm just waiting for a certain someone to tell me 'I told you so'"

"Uh?"

"It's a long story..."

Her warm breath tickled his neck's skin when she said, "You'll tell me about it when we wake up...and we have all the time of the world.."

Buffy's soft breath lulled him to sleep, and for the first time since he had been freed he  didn't fear the nightmares, he didn't fear anything, his  lips stretched in a smile, while he softly echoed Buffy's words, "All the time of the world...I can live with that"

~~*~~*~~*~~

~  It hadn't stopped raining for days.

William had almost started to hate those leaden clouds that for days had covered the sun...the yard of the Compound had almost seemed grey under all that rain. William leaned against a pillar when the rain stopped. He waited, oblivious of the other young watchers' glares.

He waited for the first rays of sun to gently hit the grass. He crossed his arms over his chest, marveling at how the colors of the yard were slowly returning to life.

 He took a step forward, looking around, the clouds had gone away, and the sun was gloriously shining in the sky...he raised his head toward it, letting the first lukewarm rays of sun bathing his face. he closed his eyes, inhaling the wet earth and grass' odor.

William  knew that was a moment he was going to remember forever. He sighed and opened his eyes, his lips stretched in a smile when he spotted a rainbow, its colors were mesmerizing they almost took his breath away, never had he seen such a beautiful rainbow and he suddenly knew in his heart that, that was his last rainbow, so he leaned against a tree and observed it, until it faded.

Only then did he come back to his duty...to his calling  ~

Spike stirred and slowly opened his eyes, as always in the last week he met Willow's smile, he smiled back to her and said, "I'm sorry, I must have dozed off..."

They were outside Willow's room, in her house. They had spent the night on the swing, in her yard, looking at the stars, enjoying the quiet and the peace it had given them. He placed a kiss on her hair and pulled her tighter to him, draping a blanket around her shoulders. He lowered his head when the red-head said,  "You looked so peaceful...I didn't want to wake you"

Spike smiled at her. He didn't remember ever feeling that happy and peaceful, he took in all the details of Willow's face, he grazed her lips with a finger and whispered, "I like sleeping in your arms, Red..."

She happily sighed before whispering, "The feeling is mutual, Spike..." she smiled then said, "Don't take it the wrong way...but could I ask you a personal question?"

Spike gently  tucked away some locks from her brow and softly said, "I told you, Red...no more secrets..."

"I know it's stupid...but it's something that it's bugging me since ...well...ever...and..."

He stopped her babbling with a kiss, when he pulled away he said, "What was the question, Red?"

"Q...question?" she stuttered, a dreamy smile on her face. Spike cocked an eyebrow at her and Willow  raised a hand to touch his face, she idly traced each line , each curve, with her fingers, as if to engrave his face in her memory and Spike couldn't help the shiver of pleasure that ran through his body, he stifled a groan when Willow's  finger abruptly stopped after tracing the scar above his left eyebrow.

He gently took her hand in his saying, "Red?"

"The scar...how did you get it?" she asked, mumbling.

Spike couldn't help laughing at her words, he shrugged and said, "The almond-eyed wanker...Eric, he did it to me, while we were training...it hurt like a mother...."

Willow chuckled at his words, although Spike couldn't understand why, her chuckles became a full fledged laughter and she hid her face in his chest, he caressed her hair asking, "Red?"

She kept laughing for some seconds, but when she raised her head to look at him, her face was serious and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, she swallowed and said in a nasal voice, "I really love you, Spike..."

Spike tilted her chin up with a finger, and kissed the tip of her nose before whispering, "I really love you too Willow..."

She smiled at him and placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand before returning to rest her head on his chest. They watched the blue of the sky slowly changing for a while, then Willow said, "You were smiling while you were asleep...were you dreaming about something nice?"

"I was dreaming about when I was human" he said in a low voice.

Willow raised her head to look at him and asked in a low voice, "Do you miss it? Being human, I mean..."

Spike lightly shrugged his shoulders and said, "No...not often, at least..."

She nodded and swallowed before saying, "We'd better going inside...it's almost dawn"

Spike nodded at her, and lightly pulled her away from him, she got up from the swing, draping the blanket around her tiny shoulders

"I'll be right here" he whispered.

She nodded at him and slowly walked toward her room, she turned and waited for him on the porch, a light smile on her lips.

Spike smiled back at her and slowly got up from the swing. He looked around, he could smell the dawn. He closed his eyes, inhaling its rich scent for some seconds and then reopened his eyes. He turned toward Willow who was looking at him and approached her, circling her  shoulders with his arm, he weakly smiled at her and said in a low voice, "But I still miss the sun...."

THE END